PNW Cryptid Dating Game!

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,740 So we're not just gonna play any boring old dating game that you've seen before. 2 00:00:08,740 --> 00:00:16,040 We're going to play a PNW, cryptid dating game. 3 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,040 Happy Valentine's Day! 4 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,040 You're gonna be so fun. 5 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,040 You're gonna be so fun. 6 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,040 I mean, I'm so happy at the end, I promise. 7 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,040 Well, I shouldn't say you're getting a happy ending. 8 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,040 That might sound wrong, but anyway. 9 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,040 Hi! 10 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,040 Hi! 11 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,040 Hi, Caitlyn! 12 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,040 Hi, Cassie! 13 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,040 Hi, creepy people! 14 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,040 Hello! 15 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,040 It's me! 16 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,040 And me! 17 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,040 And Caitlyn. 18 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:39,040 Yeah. 19 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,040 But also me, I'm back! 20 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,040 Yay! 21 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:54,040 I have an episode for you guys, because Caitlyn just tried to hog up two episodes. 22 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,040 Yeah. 23 00:00:55,040 --> 00:01:00,840 We all know how we feel about Caitlyn's episodes. 24 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,800 It's some real Leo energy up in here. 25 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:04,800 No, we love her. 26 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:11,120 She does good work, but it's time for a break, because, oh, this is PNW Haunts and Homicides. 27 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,120 Oh, shit. 28 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,120 Yeah. 29 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,120 Sorry, guys. 30 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:19,120 In case you didn't know, PNW stands for Pacific Northwest. 31 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:23,960 So we primarily cover cases based in the Pacific Northwest. 32 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:24,960 Yeah. 33 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,960 In case you didn't know. 34 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:27,960 Now you know. 35 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:28,960 Now you know. 36 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,880 The more you know. 37 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,200 But it's time for a little fun. 38 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,200 Because it's Valentine's Day. 39 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,700 Ah! 40 00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:40,820 Even if you don't celebrate it, I think you're going to really enjoy this episode. 41 00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:43,560 It is a little theme-y. 42 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,560 But it's fun. 43 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:45,560 I'm on board. 44 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,880 She was so on board. 45 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,880 She was on board as soon. 46 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,520 The moment I mentioned it, she was like, yes. 47 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,040 She was doing it. 48 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,600 I really, really, really got on board. 49 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,600 She did. 50 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:04,040 She had all these crazy ideas that just weren't going to work out. 51 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,040 That's maybe next time. 52 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,040 Maybe next time. 53 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,040 Maybe next time. 54 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,040 Maybe next time. 55 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,920 But she lit the fire in her butt, and I went and did a thing. 56 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,720 So we're going to have some fun today. 57 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,480 This is all make-believe. 58 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,960 This is all fun and games. 59 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,560 This isn't real. 60 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:20,880 Just so everyone's clear. 61 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:21,880 It's real. 62 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:27,000 I'll probably say it again later on when you'll know what I'm talking about. 63 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,000 So. 64 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,520 It's real. 65 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,280 I wouldn't say that. 66 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,200 So today we're going to play a little game. 67 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,080 We're going to play a little dating game. 68 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,720 Like- oh, okay, a dating game. 69 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:41,720 Not like a- 70 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,360 Would you like to play a game? 71 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,960 No, not like a saw game. 72 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,600 It's not a scary episode. 73 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,600 Okay. 74 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,680 But we're going to play a little dating game. 75 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,400 Unfortunately, we didn't really know any single people. 76 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,320 So we're just going to sub in Caitlyn. 77 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:57,320 Okay. 78 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:58,320 Disclaimer. 79 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,680 Caitlin is not single. 80 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,480 Like at all. 81 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:04,480 Period. 82 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,480 End of story. 83 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,080 We're just having fun. 84 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:11,000 So please, no one's light into her DMs. 85 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,720 And Chris, don't hate me. 86 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:15,720 Look at that. 87 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,640 Oh, she's super protective of me. 88 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,640 Just looking out. 89 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,040 You know, I don't want- 90 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:23,120 I don't want anyone to get too excited that you're on the market. 91 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,480 Oh, yeah. 92 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,200 I'm sure they're clamoring at the- 93 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,480 All of the places. 94 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,480 We had some- 95 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,720 We had some people clamoring. 96 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,560 Oh, boy. 97 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,960 Wait, this is news to me. 98 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,360 I don't know if I'll call them people, but we'll get into it. 99 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,400 Oh, boy. 100 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,360 Okay. 101 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,880 So we're not just going to play any boring old dating game 102 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,120 that you've seen before. 103 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,520 We're going to play a PNW. 104 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,440 Cryptid Dating Game. 105 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,360 Yeah. 106 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,280 Don't act surprised. 107 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,520 You already knew. 108 00:03:55,520 --> 00:04:00,600 Well, I was a little bit unsure as to whether or not it was going to happen. 109 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,560 It's happening, baby. 110 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,920 Happy Valentine's Day. 111 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,480 It's still in my life. 112 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,480 You're going to get so fun. 113 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,680 You're going to get so fun at the end, I promise. 114 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,640 Well, I shouldn't say you're getting a happy ending. 115 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:17,320 That might sound wrong, but anyway. 116 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:24,240 So the definition of cryptid in case anyone doesn't know is an animal, such as Sasquatch or the 117 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:29,640 Lochness monster that has been claimed to exist but never proven to exist. 118 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:30,640 Okay. 119 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:31,640 Okay. 120 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,360 So just so we're all clear what the definition of cryptid is. 121 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,440 Just keep that rattling around back there. 122 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,440 Mm-hmm. 123 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,200 Welcome to PNW. 124 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,600 Cryptid Dating Game. 125 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:53,680 Caitlyn, come on down. 126 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,320 How was that for my game announcer voice? 127 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,480 I love it. 128 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,560 You're channeling some Bob Barker. 129 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:02,560 Something. 130 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,560 Caitlyn's something. 131 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:09,120 I will not do that the whole time I promised, but maybe one more time. 132 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:15,040 Caitlyn is a fun, sassy, sexy single looking for her perfect cryptid match. 133 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,040 Ooh. 134 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,040 Okay, I'm done. 135 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,040 That was it. 136 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,800 I liked it. 137 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:25,320 So I'm not going to tell Caitlyn or anyone who the elusive bachelors are. 138 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:30,400 So we're going to have three rounds and we will get to know our four elusive bachelors. 139 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,400 Ooh. 140 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:36,480 Let me tell you, tracking these guys down for questioning was not easy, but once I started 141 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,720 a float, Caitlyn's photo around. 142 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:39,720 I had them. 143 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,680 It's the one on the fridge, you know what I was going to say. 144 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,320 How old is this photo? 145 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:53,560 And at the end, Caitlyn will pick which one she thinks would fit her best. 146 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,560 Who am I? 147 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,560 Yeah. 148 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,080 Who are cryptid mans. 149 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,280 Match man's is. 150 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:04,080 Again, this is all make believe. 151 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,080 Okay. 152 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,840 I mean, it's real. 153 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,680 You're going to have a cryptid in your bed. 154 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:13,560 Watch out, Chris. 155 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:19,200 So we'll still do the tarot read at the end and it will be for whoever she picks what his 156 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:26,200 intentions are with her with my daughter with my daughter with my adult daughter. 157 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,320 So that's how we'll do that. 158 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,320 Okay. 159 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,520 So I get a little bit of a reading on this love man. 160 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:33,520 Yeah, exactly. 161 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,520 Okay. 162 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,520 Are you excited? 163 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,520 I'm so excited. 164 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:37,520 Okay. 165 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,560 And one, here we go. 166 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:48,160 Each bachelor answered seven identical questions and one random question to keep things interesting. 167 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:53,680 Oh, all of the questions and things I'm going to talk about in the rounds are all clues 168 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,800 to who these cryptids might be. 169 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,800 That makes sense. 170 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:58,800 Okay. 171 00:06:58,800 --> 00:06:59,800 Okay. 172 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,080 So bachelor number one, first question. 173 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,160 What is your biggest insecurity? 174 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,440 And he says kissing can be quite a challenge. 175 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,440 Oh. 176 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,440 Okay. 177 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,440 Yeah. 178 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:16,280 Not really sure what that means, but me either take that how you want. 179 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:17,280 Okay. 180 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,960 Question number two, what is your favorite color? 181 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,920 And he says black, which I say same. 182 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:23,920 Okay. 183 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:24,920 I say same. 184 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:25,920 Alendable. 185 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,880 I just have this debate with somebody the other day because they were asking me my favorite 186 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,400 color and I couldn't pick. 187 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,200 So I just say black because that's like all the colors together, right? 188 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,440 Oh, that's very true. 189 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,440 Yeah. 190 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,440 Okay. 191 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,440 That's a thinker. 192 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,000 Maybe we have something in common. 193 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,320 Maybe I should be on the stating. 194 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,320 I know. 195 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,640 Come on. 196 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,600 Question number three, what is your biggest fear? 197 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,120 He says fire. 198 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,120 Okay. 199 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:55,680 I mean, I'm not sure that we're compatible then. 200 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:56,680 That's true. 201 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,680 That's true. 202 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,680 Okay. 203 00:07:58,680 --> 00:07:59,680 All right. 204 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,800 The fourth question is a fun one. 205 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,920 What is your favorite sexual position? 206 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,240 Who says missionary? 207 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,240 Okay. 208 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,240 Okay. 209 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,240 We'll have vanilla. 210 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,240 We'll have vanilla. 211 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,240 But that's okay. 212 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,240 All right. 213 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,240 You do you. 214 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,840 Question number five, what is your ideal date? 215 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,520 He says abuffee. 216 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:23,480 It's the easiest way to keep him in cheap date because he has a rather large appetite. 217 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:24,480 Okay. 218 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,760 So does that mean he assumes that you're paying? 219 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,720 I maybe. 220 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,120 It sounds like that's a possibility. 221 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,040 It's calling himself a cheap date. 222 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,040 Eh-huh. 223 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,040 Uh-huh. 224 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,040 Listen, call yourself whatever you want. 225 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,720 Don't call me a cheap date. 226 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:45,560 That's how do you feel about the phase? 227 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,560 Um. 228 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,560 Yeah. 229 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:53,000 I mean, I feel like I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on, I mean, how much time do we 230 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000 have? 231 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000 Probably not that much. 232 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000 Not that much. 233 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 Okay. 234 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,000 Okay. 235 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:58,000 I'm surprised you're not taking notes on these guys. 236 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,000 Well, I thought about it. 237 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,680 But then I was like, is that cheating? 238 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:02,680 I don't think it's cheating. 239 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:03,680 It's cheating. 240 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:04,680 Okay. 241 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,680 I mean, if you really want to, I mean, I'm going to. 242 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,680 She's taking notes. 243 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:08,680 Oh, no. 244 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,680 I don't know if I'm right. 245 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:10,680 Where's the notebook? 246 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:11,680 Okay. 247 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:12,680 Hold on. 248 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:15,680 Continue way. 249 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,480 Question number six, what is your best quality? 250 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,040 Oh, you might like this one, Caitlin. 251 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,720 He says protective like a bodyguard. 252 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:23,720 Okay. 253 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:24,720 Okay. 254 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,400 So that sounds pretty good. 255 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,640 That might make up for some other things. 256 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,560 I mean, it would have to. 257 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:33,560 It would have to. 258 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:34,560 Okay. 259 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:39,080 Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin? 260 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,080 Ooh. 261 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,880 He says oversized fluffy sweaters. 262 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:47,280 Oh, that is so pure. 263 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,280 Okay. 264 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,280 All right. 265 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,000 And question number eight is kind of the rotating random question. 266 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,240 It is, what is your favorite scent? 267 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,560 And he says burnt trees. 268 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:00,560 Huh. 269 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:04,840 Do you have any guesses on who this is? 270 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:05,840 No. 271 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:06,840 No, I don't. 272 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,840 Actually. 273 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:08,840 Actually. 274 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:09,840 All right. 275 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,840 Are you ready for bachelor number two? 276 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:12,840 Yes. 277 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:13,840 I think. 278 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:14,840 You are. 279 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:15,840 Okay. 280 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,840 Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity? 281 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,680 Bachelor number two says that people think he's a myth. 282 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:24,680 Okay. 283 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:25,680 Okay. 284 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:30,680 I'm sure that's pretty common amongst the cryptid society. 285 00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:31,680 You know? 286 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,680 Yeah. 287 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:33,680 Okay. 288 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:34,680 Yeah. 289 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,720 Question number two, what is your favorite color? 290 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,680 He says anything shiny. 291 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,680 Okay. 292 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,680 I mean, same. 293 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:41,960 Who does he think he is? 294 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,280 The crab from Moana. 295 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:44,280 Shiny. 296 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:51,200 Question number three, what is your biggest fear? 297 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,840 And he says salt. 298 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:53,840 Salt. 299 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,840 Okay. 300 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,000 Which, that's kind of interesting. 301 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000 Huh. 302 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000 Okay. 303 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000 Huh. 304 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000 Huh. 305 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,000 Huh. 306 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,840 Number four, the good question. 307 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,280 What is your favorite sexual position? 308 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:15,600 He says the submarine, which I don't encourage anyone to Google. 309 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,840 Question number five, what is your ideal date? 310 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,840 He says a day on the lake. 311 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:21,840 Uh-huh. 312 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:22,840 Yeah. 313 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,840 Sweet. 314 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:29,440 You're going to, are there submarines in this lake? 315 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,240 You know, here's the thing. 316 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,320 This guy's clearly got a thing with water. 317 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,320 Clearly. 318 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,320 Okay. 319 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,320 Clearly. 320 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,760 Question number six, what is your best quality? 321 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,120 He says I'm a strong swimmer. 322 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,120 Uh-huh. 323 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,120 Yeah. 324 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,120 Okay. 325 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,120 All right. 326 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,040 So I think you nailed the water, the water part. 327 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,040 Yeah. 328 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:53,240 Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin? 329 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,240 He says small animals. 330 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:59,320 Oh, see, he's got some good qualities. 331 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,280 But I feel like I want to know why. 332 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:09,360 Well, he goes on to say they feel so good, they smell so good and they, okay, well, things 333 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,840 get weird here and I think we're just going to sweat a lot. 334 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:13,840 Okay. 335 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:14,840 The small animals. 336 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:15,840 Okay. 337 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:19,080 Question number eight, what is your biggest pet peeve? 338 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:25,280 He says when someone is immortalized for no reason and has nothing of value to offer in return, 339 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,560 wow, I feel like we hit a nerve. 340 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:29,560 Okay. 341 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:30,720 Yeah. 342 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:31,720 Someone is sensitive. 343 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:36,560 Yeah, that's a real, um, how do I put this nicely? 344 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,000 Oh, wait, I don't care. 345 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,160 Um, that's a real in-sell vibe. 346 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,160 Yeah. 347 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,160 I feel like. 348 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,160 Interesting. 349 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,160 Yeah. 350 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,160 Okay. 351 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,680 Are you ready to move on to bachelor number three? 352 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:50,920 I mean, we probably should. 353 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,000 Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity? 354 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,600 He says people often mistake him for someone else. 355 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,600 Oh. 356 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:04,080 Well, you know what happens to the best of us? 357 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,320 Question number two, what is your favorite color? 358 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,320 He says blue. 359 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,320 Okay. 360 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,320 Oh, like that. 361 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,840 Oh, like blue. 362 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,720 What's your favorite color, Caitlin? 363 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,240 I think probably gray or black. 364 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,240 Okay. 365 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,240 Or rose gold. 366 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,240 Yeah. 367 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,240 Or rose gold. 368 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,240 See, it's hard to choose. 369 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,240 Yeah. 370 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,240 I can't choose. 371 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,360 I don't know. 372 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,400 Question number three, what is your biggest fear? 373 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,680 He says bright lights and crowds. 374 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,680 And I say preach. 375 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:31,680 Same. 376 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:36,200 Question number four, what is your favorite sexual position? 377 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,680 Are we ready for this one? 378 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,160 I mean, probably not, but let's do it. 379 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,760 He says anything on the inversion table, baby. 380 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,880 I don't really know what to put in my notes here. 381 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,200 He likes to be upside down. 382 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,200 Okay. 383 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,200 So, um, all right. 384 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,120 I don't think that that's that kinky. 385 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,120 That's no submarine. 386 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,120 Let me tell you. 387 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,120 That's not a kink. 388 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,120 That's a great move. 389 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,120 Ooh. 390 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,120 Against humanity. 391 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,120 Yeah. 392 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,440 Question number five, what is your ideal date? 393 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,960 He says flying out of town for dinner. 394 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:08,960 Okay. 395 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:09,960 Okay. 396 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,960 Christian gray. 397 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:11,960 Right. 398 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,720 Maybe he has a little kinky. 399 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:18,120 Question number six, what is your best quality? 400 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,000 He says his eyes. 401 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,520 They're big and bright. 402 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,960 You could even say they glow. 403 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:24,960 Okay. 404 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:25,960 Interesting. 405 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,440 Sounds nice though. 406 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:34,280 Big, bright glowing eyes could be quite striking. 407 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,040 The way you say that, I feel like that's pointed. 408 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,280 I'm not saying it. 409 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:44,320 I have no biased towards any of these bachelors. 410 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,320 Okay. 411 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,360 I'm just reading their questions. 412 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,280 They answered them. 413 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:54,680 They made them up, not me. 414 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,160 Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin? 415 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,760 He said some rad 80s vibes. 416 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,560 I like this guy. 417 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,560 Okay. 418 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,000 Well, I'm going to be setting you up. 419 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000 Yeah. 420 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 Maybe I can get his number. 421 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,440 If you don't pick him. 422 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,320 Okay. 423 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:15,320 Question number eight, are you a knight owl or an early bird? 424 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,320 Hmm. 425 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,320 He says neither. 426 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,320 But I do prefer the knight. 427 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,320 Okay. 428 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,880 So, um. 429 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:31,880 So like tell me you don't know how to answer questions without telling me. 430 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,680 I mean, maybe there's something in there. 431 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,320 Maybe it's some sort of clue. 432 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:40,120 Yeah, that's what I gather, but I gathered very little. 433 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,120 I don't know. 434 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,080 Let's move on to Bachelor number four. 435 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,640 Our final bachelor. 436 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,880 Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity? 437 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,160 He says nothing. 438 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,160 Okay. 439 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,160 I see you. 440 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,160 I see you. 441 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,160 An interesting start. 442 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,160 Okay. 443 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,160 All right. 444 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,160 Question number two, what is your favorite color? 445 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,160 He says orange. 446 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,160 It's nice color. 447 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,160 I like orange. 448 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,200 I'm getting a real fuck boy vibe here. 449 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,080 Question number three, what is your biggest fear? 450 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,400 He says becoming irrelevant. 451 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,400 Okay. 452 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,400 Yeah. 453 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,360 I stand by my previous statement. 454 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,840 Ready for question number four? 455 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,840 I mean, sure. 456 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,760 What is your favorite sexual position? 457 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,040 He says cowgirl. 458 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,040 Uh-huh. 459 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,040 Yeah. 460 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,040 Called that one. 461 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,040 Okay. 462 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,200 Question number five, what is your ideal date? 463 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,680 He says something adventurous like white water rafting. 464 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:33,680 Huh. 465 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,680 Okay. 466 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,280 Question number six, what is your best quality? 467 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:42,080 He says there's a beer named after me. 468 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,040 I don't know if that's your quality, bro. 469 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,040 But okay. 470 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,040 Okay. 471 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,040 Okay. 472 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:52,560 Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin? 473 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,080 He says ultra long scarves. 474 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,080 Okay. 475 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,080 Okay. 476 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,080 All right. 477 00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,080 Listen. 478 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:05,600 Listen, I'm really trying to take detailed notes. 479 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,480 This is, I mean, there's a lot of clues. 480 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:14,880 Honestly, this feels like higher stakes than even our last election. 481 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:15,880 It might be. 482 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:16,880 Yeah. 483 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,880 This is a very important choice. 484 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,880 Ready for the last question? 485 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:21,880 Okay. 486 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:27,840 If asked on a date to a wedding, do you choose the chicken or the fish? 487 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,840 He says fish all day. 488 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,840 Oh, man. 489 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:31,840 Okay. 490 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,840 I'm surprised he didn't say fish. 491 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,840 Bo show. 492 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:38,840 Okay. 493 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,840 So we've reached round number two. 494 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:43,840 Okay. 495 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:49,520 So we're going to get to know a little bit about each of our four bachelors from the perspective 496 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,720 of someone who has been close to them. 497 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:53,720 Bachelor number one. 498 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,680 You ready? 499 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:01,640 I had a very, very lovely talk with bachelor number one's mom. 500 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,640 She couldn't figure out how to use the email. 501 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:08,520 So she had me talk to her on the phone and just like relay the message. 502 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:16,520 So she says my boo boo has an explosive personality, which is funny because we were talking about 503 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,280 boo boo earlier. 504 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,200 You don't even know bachelor number one's mom. 505 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,200 So that's correct. 506 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,200 I do. 507 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,360 Boo boo theme is just natural. 508 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,360 Okay. 509 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:33,200 She goes on to say, oh, he's going to hate me, but I called him Boo Boo in front of everybody, 510 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,000 especially a pretty woman like Caitlin. 511 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000 Uh oh. 512 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:42,120 Anyway, I think he could really use a lady in his life. 513 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:47,280 I always try to get him to stand top of the moisturizing, but he just doesn't seem to 514 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,440 listen to me. 515 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,280 She she rambled. 516 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,240 Y'all, let me tell you. 517 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:58,520 She goes on to say, I think if he had a nice lady around to help him lotion his hard to reach 518 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:03,080 areas, you know, I think he would just be a little bit happier. 519 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,080 Okay. 520 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,080 Okay. 521 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,480 So he's got some dry skin issues or something. 522 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,160 Okay. 523 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:15,080 And of course to help him keep up with trimming those unruly eyebrows. 524 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,720 Call your mother, boo boo. 525 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,720 Oh boy. 526 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:20,720 Interesting. 527 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,760 I think that helps Bachelor number one's chances at all. 528 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,240 You know, no, not really. 529 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,320 But if you want his mom's number, she's so nice. 530 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,080 Oh yeah. 531 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,000 Bachelor number two. 532 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,000 This is from his ex girlfriend. 533 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,160 She DMed us. 534 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,160 Oh. 535 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,480 So she said, "Augie was sweet, but it just didn't work out. 536 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,720 He had this weird obsession with the Loch Ness Monster. 537 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,880 It was like he was jealous that Nessie got more attention. 538 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:49,880 Okay. 539 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:55,920 I feel like the nerve that we poked earlier might make a little more sense." 540 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,240 Yeah. 541 00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:02,400 She said Nessie had more books, movies, news stories, podcast episodes, and merch. 542 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,200 So much merch. 543 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,240 Plus, there was that incident with my Chihuahua. 544 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,240 Okay. 545 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,240 Interesting. 546 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,240 What happened here? 547 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,240 Chihuahua. 548 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,240 Not a dog per se in her. 549 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,840 I don't know. 550 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:20,560 He really liked the small animals. 551 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:25,280 Like probably as a snack, like a little appetizer. 552 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,520 I don't know. 553 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,800 I guess we'll find out. 554 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:29,800 Okay. 555 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,720 Bachelor number three. 556 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:37,280 Sadly, Bachelor number three doesn't have any close friends or family. 557 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,320 So there was no one to reach out to. 558 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,320 But great. 559 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,600 That's sort of a clue on his personality as well. 560 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:49,040 Bachelor number four, your favorite. 561 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:53,680 This came via text message from his childhood best friend. 562 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:58,520 I'm going to read the text messages as they came in. 563 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,520 They were all separate. 564 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,520 There's typos. 565 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,520 Oh great. 566 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,520 Perfect. 567 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,720 Off to a great start. 568 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:12,920 The first text, "CC was my BFF growing up the up arrow." 569 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:13,920 Oh great. 570 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,920 Okay. 571 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,000 Next, we use two. 572 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,920 The number two, hang over Al, he Tim. 573 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,920 Which, oh okay. 574 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,080 He says duck you, auto correct. 575 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,920 Hang out all the time. 576 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,920 Astrid. 577 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:30,920 Okay. 578 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:31,920 Great. 579 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,440 Next text message. 580 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:42,480 But FYI, they named some sort of hipster with no e, beer emoji after him. 581 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,480 Okay. 582 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:44,480 Oh, huh. 583 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,560 Yeah, seems like we've heard about that before. 584 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,560 Interesting. 585 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,560 Yeah. 586 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,560 That's a theme. 587 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,560 Okay. 588 00:21:52,560 --> 00:22:01,200 Now he thinks he's too good for everyone, IMO, and a bunch of exclamation points. 589 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,520 That is, that's tough. 590 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:04,520 He keeps going. 591 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:11,480 SMHWTF is up again, the up arrow, wit, that, and an angry face. 592 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,880 Yeah, that feels like a lot. 593 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,080 It feels like a lot. 594 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,920 And then again, but IDC, which means I don't care, I think. 595 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:20,920 Yeah. 596 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:25,400 I know, and oh, deep with a lot of ease. 597 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,160 That's a lot. 598 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:33,880 I know deep down, like 180 feet down, every TBT, that's throwback Thursday. 599 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,800 He thinks of doing corkscrews in the Columbia with me. 600 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,800 Aww. 601 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:43,400 So this guy seems sweet in the end, maybe you should get his number. 602 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,640 Uh, yeah, we'll see. 603 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:46,640 Okay. 604 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,040 Sound like there was some clues in there though. 605 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:54,440 I mean, I would, I would think so, but. 606 00:22:54,440 --> 00:23:00,680 Well, are you ready for round number three, because I think you're going to really like 607 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,680 it. 608 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:02,680 Okay. 609 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:03,680 Yeah. 610 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:04,680 Okay. 611 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,680 I hope so. 612 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,960 So the bachelor's gave me a little something to give to you. 613 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,960 Oh boy. 614 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:11,960 Okay. 615 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,200 So this first gift is from bachelor number one. 616 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,800 Oh, it's so cute. 617 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:16,800 Okay. 618 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,200 Let's see what's in here. 619 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:20,200 Chocolate. 620 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,200 Oh. 621 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,200 Sorry. 622 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:29,240 I got hungry, but I heard you didn't even like chocolate. 623 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,240 Okay. 624 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:37,240 Okay. 625 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:41,480 So I mean, you know, it's empty, but he did wrap it. 626 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,480 He did. 627 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,480 Yeah. 628 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,480 I mean, the thought is the thought that your count's right? 629 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:45,480 Okay. 630 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:46,480 Okay. 631 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,480 This is from bachelor number two. 632 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,480 Okay. 633 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:49,480 All right. 634 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:50,480 Oh, is there? 635 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,480 Okay. 636 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,480 Let's see. 637 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,480 All right. 638 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:54,480 Oh boy. 639 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,480 Oh. 640 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,480 Oh. 641 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,480 Oh. 642 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:58,480 Oh. 643 00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,480 It's too blurry. 644 00:23:59,480 --> 00:23:59,480 How sweet. 645 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,480 It's so pretty. 646 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,480 Right. 647 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:02,480 That he does. 648 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:09,600 Clearly a very effestive heart, Marty Grobids. 649 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:14,480 It's kind of a two-fer because you could really use these for two different holidays every 650 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,480 year. 651 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,480 Yeah. 652 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,200 Beautiful, beautiful jewelry. 653 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:24,480 I'm sure if he wasn't on a budget, he would get you something nicer. 654 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:31,480 That's what they all say. 655 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,480 Okay. 656 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,480 From bachelor number three. 657 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,480 A door up all. 658 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:36,480 I'm scared. 659 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,480 Okay. 660 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,480 Oh. 661 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:39,480 A charging cord. 662 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,480 It's a phone charger. 663 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,480 Interesting. 664 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,480 Okay. 665 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:44,480 Okay. 666 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:45,480 A shark. 667 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:46,480 Oh. 668 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,480 That's the line number four's gift. 669 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,480 It's heavy. 670 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,480 That is it. 671 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,480 What is it, Kate? 672 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,480 Later. 673 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:57,480 Colossal. 674 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,480 Oh. 675 00:24:58,480 --> 00:24:59,480 Wow. 676 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:00,480 No, that's cheating. 677 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:01,480 See. 678 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,480 See. 679 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,480 It definitely seems like it. 680 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:12,600 Well, it seems as though we have a little cheater amongst us who just can keep their mouth shut 681 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:13,600 about themselves. 682 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:14,600 So. 683 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:20,480 So this is interesting because I feel like this is kind of a giveaway. 684 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,480 Yeah. 685 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,480 A little bit. 686 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,480 A little bit because it's spoiler alert. 687 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,480 A can of beer. 688 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:27,480 Yes. 689 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:28,480 It is the can of beer. 690 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,480 The can of beer. 691 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,480 The has been mentioned. 692 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,480 That's a close guy. 693 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,480 Colossal. 694 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:33,480 Claude. 695 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,480 Oh. 696 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,480 That's bitch. 697 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:39,480 Keep believe he did that. 698 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:45,480 But it says dedicated to fishing stories. 699 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,480 Oh. 700 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,480 Right on the front of this can. 701 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:57,160 The word has it that after years of terrifying sailors and feasting on salmon, he acquired a taste 702 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,760 for hops. 703 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:08,520 So we brewed this imperial IPA with a colossal dose of cascade, shanook, citra and strata hops. 704 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:13,480 In hopes of coaxing, Claude out to join us for a pint. 705 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,480 Oh. 706 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,480 Okay. 707 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:22,600 So this if this is like his profile pick on Tinder, like which way are we swiping? 708 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:23,600 That's up to you. 709 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:24,600 Okay. 710 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,600 This is your dating game, baby. 711 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:26,600 Okay. 712 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,960 Well, I mean, I have some really difficult decisions to make. 713 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,200 I think at this point. 714 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,200 So. 715 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:37,360 So I guess I don't need to ask you if you have any guesses who bachelor number four is. 716 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,600 Because clearly it's colossal Claude. 717 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,600 He gave it away. 718 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,200 He gave him his damn self away. 719 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,200 Yeah. 720 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,200 He sure did. 721 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:50,280 How guesses on the others or do you just want to head around for and choose your mans? 722 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,800 Yeah. 723 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,080 I. 724 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,880 This is a tough one. 725 00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:01,480 I feel like I was getting a certain vibe about some of these. 726 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,200 And now I might be more confused than ever. 727 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,200 That was my goal. 728 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,200 Yeah. 729 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,200 Um. 730 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,200 Yeah. 731 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,120 I'm really not sure. 732 00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:12,120 I don't know. 733 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:13,120 Okay. 734 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:19,720 Many of them are like the usual suspects we would see in the PNW or I think maybe one of 735 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,720 the myths. 736 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,720 I'm just, you know, it just feels too soon to say for sure. 737 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,720 Okay. 738 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,720 Okay. 739 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,720 Round four. 740 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:35,960 You got to pick your ideal mate and then I will tell you all about every single one of 741 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:36,960 them. 742 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:37,960 Yeah. 743 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,600 So this is a really tough one. 744 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:45,400 Um, normally I think number one, that would be a tempting choice. 745 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:50,760 Um, but I'm a little bit afraid about some of these answers here. 746 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:51,760 So. 747 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:57,800 Also, Caitlin, you're not really dating them. 748 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,440 I mean, but listen, I take everything that I do very seriously. 749 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,440 Seriously. 750 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:03,440 Seriously. 751 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:04,440 Yeah. 752 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:05,440 Yeah. 753 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,880 I feel like Bachelor number two for sure is out because I have small animals and that's 754 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:14,200 going to be a, that's going to be a deal breaker for me. 755 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:19,080 Um, they gave them, you know, they stimulated his serotonin. 756 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,080 I, yeah. 757 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,080 It's like they would make him happy. 758 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,080 Uh-huh. 759 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,080 For how long? 760 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,080 And in what form or fashion? 761 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,680 Um, okay. 762 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:29,680 So. 763 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,080 Oh my gosh. 764 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:38,680 Well, Clyde or Claude had the most terrible answers, but he's the one that I wanted, obviously. 765 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,680 I know that's why I made him a douche. 766 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,680 Yeah. 767 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,000 I was like, I know it. 768 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,480 I feel like realistically. 769 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:49,480 Okay. 770 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,480 Okay. 771 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,320 Moment of truth. 772 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:57,280 I think I'm going to go with number three. 773 00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,280 Number three. 774 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,280 Wow. 775 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:01,280 That's a surprise. 776 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:02,280 Is it? 777 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:03,280 Okay. 778 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,280 Okay. 779 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,280 Are you ready to find out who your Bachelor is? 780 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,280 Uh, sure. 781 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,280 Okay. 782 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,280 Bachelor number three is Bat Squatch. 783 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:23,280 I feel like it was a Squatch. 784 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:28,880 So Bat Squatch, you remember he was the one who got confused with someone else. 785 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:29,880 Yeah. 786 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:30,880 Bat Squatch. 787 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:31,880 Bat Squatch. 788 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,080 I felt like I was picking that up. 789 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,080 Okay. 790 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,680 I was the only one that I felt like I had any clue on. 791 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,800 So I'll tell you a little bit more about him. 792 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:46,520 He is rumored to have originated from the 1980 Mount St. Helens eruption. 793 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:50,640 Oh, but he has been spotted up and down the west coast. 794 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:56,600 He has described as basically a nine foot tall Sasquatch with blufer, huge bat wings and 795 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,600 glowing eyes. 796 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:58,600 Okay. 797 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,600 I remember I knew you liked the eyes. 798 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:01,600 Yeah. 799 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,400 You were weird about it, but they rubbed off on you. 800 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:09,640 Like bats, they are nocturnal and despise the light. 801 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,880 They live solitary lives. 802 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,160 So that's why you had no friends or family. 803 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,160 Makes sense. 804 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:19,240 So I don't know why he wants a girlfriend, but you know, here we are. 805 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,640 So I guess that's good if what? 806 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,840 Oh, you know, what? 807 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:30,560 So I guess that's good that you won't see like a horde of flying monkeys coming at you. 808 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:31,800 Was it a Vastile? 809 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,800 So, you know, yeah. 810 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:39,120 Yeah, because that's a nightmare fuel for sure. 811 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:40,120 Yeah, totally. 812 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,120 Okay. 813 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:45,440 People who have witnessed a bat squash have reported battery drain. 814 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:46,440 Okay. 815 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:52,760 So it is very sweet of him to give you a phone charger for your date, so you don't lose 816 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:53,760 charge. 817 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:54,760 That makes sense. 818 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:55,760 Yeah. 819 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:56,760 Thoughtful. 820 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,760 How thoughtful. 821 00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:58,760 Yeah. 822 00:30:58,760 --> 00:30:59,760 I can't even believe how thoughtful he is. 823 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:00,760 Yeah. 824 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:04,520 Well, do you want to hear about the rest of the contestants? 825 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:05,760 Okay. 826 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:10,480 We can go with colossal clods since we already clearly know who he is. 827 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:11,480 Dennis. 828 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,720 Caitlyn actually requested him. 829 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,760 So of course I had to make him unlikable. 830 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:17,760 Yeah. 831 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,120 Because I knew she would just pick him. 832 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,400 An absolute douche canoe. 833 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,480 He was first spotted in the Columbia River in 1934. 834 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,480 C.C. 835 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:28,480 C.C. 836 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:33,880 C.C.C.C. is a 15 to 40 foot long. 837 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:40,600 That's a big difference there, but 15 to 40 foot long with a round body snake like tail 838 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,720 and eight foot long neck with a horse head. 839 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:44,720 Oh boy. 840 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:45,720 Yeah. 841 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,040 So the ultra long scarves were for the eight foot long neck. 842 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,360 I mean, that makes sense. 843 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:56,400 And I think I picked orange for his favorite color because if he has a horse head, maybe 844 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,080 he likes, you know, the sea words. 845 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,720 We can't say him because the dogs. 846 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:02,720 Oh, yeah. 847 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,520 But you know, that makes sense. 848 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,520 Those orange vegetables. 849 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:06,520 Those orange vegetables. 850 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:07,520 They're crunchy. 851 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,520 That are crunchy. 852 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,960 Some people think he might be a pleasy assort. 853 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,960 Oh. 854 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:15,520 Which are extinct because that's a dinosaur. 855 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:16,520 Okay. 856 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,600 But that's kind of the look of him, I guess. 857 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:19,600 Yeah. 858 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,400 So then it's not extinct. 859 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:22,400 Right. 860 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,400 If it was. 861 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,400 Yeah. 862 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,800 No, that are clouds, not that. 863 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,920 And there's just there's no way to know. 864 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:29,920 He's his own thing. 865 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:30,920 Yeah. 866 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:40,200 Boy is he in 1963, the shell oil workers reported seeing CC 180 feet down, maneuvering in 867 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,920 a corkscrew fashion. 868 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:43,920 So interest. 869 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,000 That's what he likes to do. 870 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,200 Corkscrews in the Columbia. 871 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,200 Okay. 872 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:54,280 Some fishermen who had an encounter with him said he would steal 20 pound halibut 873 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:55,720 right off the line. 874 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:59,000 I mean, I would absolutely do that if I could. 875 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000 Right. 876 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,320 They're delicious. 877 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,320 So well, too bad. 878 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:03,320 You didn't pick him. 879 00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,320 He could steal you some halibut. 880 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:06,320 Yeah. 881 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,360 You know, he'd probably just talk about his beer the whole time. 882 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,360 I know. 883 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:10,360 What do you do? 884 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:14,400 I mean, but what pairs better with fish and chips than a beer? 885 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,400 Right. 886 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,560 He's on something. 887 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,800 Fun fact, I guess he's sometimes known as Marvin the Monster. 888 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,800 Uh-huh. 889 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,120 I didn't know. 890 00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,080 Fun fact, that's what I've heard. 891 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,920 Never heard of it. 892 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,760 It's all like old man names, too, which is kind of funny. 893 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,000 It's a claw, Marvin. 894 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:42,000 So contestant number one was the Gumberoo. 895 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,120 Have you heard of it? 896 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,720 I cannot say that I have. 897 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:46,720 Okay. 898 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:51,680 I don't think he's found along the coast from Washington to California described as 899 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,920 bear-like, but with no fur. 900 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:55,920 What? 901 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,160 So that's why he likes the sweaters. 902 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:00,160 Oh. 903 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,160 Okay. 904 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:02,160 Okay. 905 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:07,120 Instead, he has black leathery skin that is basically a shield. 906 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,120 Okay. 907 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,800 Protecting the Gumberoo even against bullets. 908 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:11,800 Wow. 909 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:12,800 So very tough. 910 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:13,800 Okay. 911 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,880 Which I'm surprised you didn't pick him. 912 00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:16,880 Yeah. 913 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,640 Because he was the protective. 914 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:20,640 Yeah. 915 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,000 He doesn't like fire. 916 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:27,240 I mean, he lives on the coast range and he doesn't want to do a fire on the beach. 917 00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,160 So like, there's a reason. 918 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,160 I'll tell you. 919 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:31,400 All right. 920 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:36,640 Some speculate that the skin itself might not be black in color, but coated in the ash of 921 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,000 his home, which is a burnt cedar tree. 922 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,120 I was going to say he says he likes the smell of burnt trees. 923 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,920 Because they remind him of home. 924 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:47,920 Oh. 925 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,520 He's in a little burnt tree or a big burnt tree. 926 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:52,520 Not a little one. 927 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,520 A little one. 928 00:34:54,520 --> 00:35:02,680 Which is ironic that his home and his favorite scent are burnt, but he is scared of fire. 929 00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:03,680 That's what I'm saying. 930 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,000 So why is that? 931 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,400 Fire is one of the only ways to kill a Gumberoo and they are apparently highly flammable. 932 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,400 Oh, boy. 933 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,760 So that's why he has the explosive personality. 934 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:16,760 Oh. 935 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,760 Oh, no, son. 936 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,760 Bobo. 937 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:26,080 He does have one other weakness and that's being bitten by another creature called the timber 938 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,080 doodle. 939 00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:29,280 Like a poodle? 940 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:30,280 I get. 941 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:31,280 I don't like it. 942 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:32,280 A timber poodle. 943 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,960 I have no idea. 944 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,480 That led me to believe he wouldn't like to be bitten at all. 945 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:39,480 Probably pretty vanilla. 946 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:40,480 Okay. 947 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,160 So yeah, hence the missionaries. 948 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,760 I see where I see. 949 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,320 Oh, I follow. 950 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:47,320 She gets it. 951 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,120 She gets me. 952 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:57,600 He also has, as I alluded to in the very first question, and this is a very scientific term, 953 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:01,160 a sh*t on of very sharp teeth. 954 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:02,160 Oh. 955 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,760 So yeah, it might make kissing a little heart. 956 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,880 I, yeah, I could see that. 957 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,200 I feel like it would be like an Edward Scissor Hands situation. 958 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,200 Yeah. 959 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:12,200 But like with your mouth. 960 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,200 Yeah. 961 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,200 Not ideal. 962 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:15,200 Did you like my Scissor Hands? 963 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:16,200 I was doing Scissor Hands. 964 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:21,160 Did you look like you were doing finger guns again? 965 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,080 Who knows? 966 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:27,800 All those teeth probably help him out because he does have an insatiable appetite. 967 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:33,600 I mean, clearly he ate all of his lovely dates chocolates. 968 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,840 Who does that? 969 00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,360 He will eat anything that even looks like food. 970 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:42,520 So I'd watch out for all those food-shaped items we like to carry around. 971 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,480 Yes, I'm talking to you, Miss Pizza Purse. 972 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:49,000 So good thing you didn't pick him and bring your pizza purse and your dog. 973 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,720 He would have been, you would have just been gone, girl. 974 00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,480 He's like a hot dog and a pizza. 975 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:55,480 Oh no. 976 00:36:55,480 --> 00:37:00,480 You can put them in the little hot dog Halloween costume. 977 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:01,720 Oh god. 978 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:05,960 No, I think that's a bachelor number two. 979 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,120 Right. 980 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,560 And how can I forget the Eugene Levy? 981 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,760 That's not his name. 982 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,240 Oh, yeah. 983 00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:19,280 And how can I forget the Eugene Levy eyebrows and porcupine chin? 984 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,280 Oh boy. 985 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,280 Very hot. 986 00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:22,280 That's very hot. 987 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,080 That is a lot. 988 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,880 Also, another fun fact, very PNW. 989 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,880 This story originated with lumberjacks. 990 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:31,880 Huh. 991 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:32,880 Yeah. 992 00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,320 That makes sense though. 993 00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,320 Out in the trees. 994 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:37,320 Yeah. 995 00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:38,320 Yeah. 996 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,320 Bachelor number two is Ogo Pogo. 997 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:43,320 Ogo Pogo. 998 00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,200 Have you heard of him? 999 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,320 It sounds so familiar. 1000 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,160 It's an interesting one. 1001 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:50,160 Uh huh. 1002 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:55,640 Ogo Pogo dwells in Okanagan Lake in Kelona, British Columbia. 1003 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,080 Yeah, he does. 1004 00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,720 And no one else is going to know, but that took me a ridiculously long amount of time to 1005 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,320 say that whole sentence. 1006 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,320 It's been 10 minutes. 1007 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:08,320 Oh god. 1008 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:09,320 Okay. 1009 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:14,760 He's described as some sort of serpent or dragon creature. 1010 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:20,520 The legend is that the sea of Okanagan people who were native to the land gave offerings 1011 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:24,880 to Ogo Pogo in return for safe passage across the lake. 1012 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:25,880 Yes. 1013 00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:32,280 And, and guess what the offering was? 1014 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,520 Live small animals. 1015 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,720 No, thank you. 1016 00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:41,400 Other people would start to bring their precious metals and jewelry to peace, Ogo Pogo. 1017 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,880 Yes. 1018 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,240 Instead of the live sacrifices. 1019 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:51,200 Actually, the origin of this cryptid is most likely a misunderstanding due to language 1020 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,200 barriers. 1021 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,200 Huh. 1022 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,200 Yeah. 1023 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,200 Who would have thought? 1024 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,200 Weird, right? 1025 00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:58,200 What a thunk. 1026 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:05,360 In fact, the sea of Okanagan people told settlers of a sacred water spirit protecting 1027 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,360 land. 1028 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:13,160 They called it, and this is a crazy looking name, but it came with a pronunciation, which 1029 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:14,160 is not too bad. 1030 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:15,360 So, it's kind of fun. 1031 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,360 Okay. 1032 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:17,360 Nahaha ikku. 1033 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:18,360 Oh. 1034 00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:27,760 And it spelled like in apostrophe X with a little thingy AX ITK thingy Mavavers. 1035 00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:28,760 Yeah. 1036 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:29,760 It's really cool looking. 1037 00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,560 I like our languages. 1038 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:32,560 Not as pretty. 1039 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,680 So, not as pretty as this. 1040 00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:42,360 But, that translates to the sacred spirit of the lake, which sounds nice. 1041 00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,360 It does. 1042 00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:47,200 They describe it as having a horse head with deer antlers. 1043 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,560 So, I think it's like kind of the same swimming creature maybe, but maybe not. 1044 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,520 Maybe it's just like a walking, like a land spirit. 1045 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:56,520 Yeah. 1046 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:57,520 That sounds. 1047 00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:58,520 I don't know. 1048 00:39:58,520 --> 00:39:59,520 Yeah. 1049 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,000 That sounds potentially really, really different. 1050 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,000 Very different. 1051 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,000 Yeah. 1052 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,280 Big miscommunication. 1053 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:09,120 Their offerings included tobacco, sage, and salmon. 1054 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:14,040 So try explaining this to white people, and it turns into sacrificing live animals to 1055 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:15,520 appease a demon. 1056 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:17,680 I mean, and who we are. 1057 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,440 I mean, we are kind of the worst. 1058 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,600 The actual worst. 1059 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:29,600 So, fast forward to the 20s, where we get the origin of the OgoPogov name from a very 1060 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,120 entertaining song. 1061 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:33,920 I will include the link to the song. 1062 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:34,920 It's really fun. 1063 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,640 I highly suggest listening to it. 1064 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:44,400 But some of the lyrics are, I am looking for the OgoPogo, the funny little OgoPogo. 1065 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,880 His mother was a polywag. 1066 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,400 His father was a whale. 1067 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,720 I am going to put a little salt on his tail. 1068 00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:51,720 Roode. 1069 00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:52,720 I know. 1070 00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:54,400 So I figured he might be scared of salt. 1071 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:55,400 Like a slug. 1072 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:56,400 Yeah. 1073 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:57,400 Right? 1074 00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:58,400 Yeah. 1075 00:40:58,400 --> 00:40:59,400 Eaky. 1076 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,200 You compare him to the Loch Ness Monster. 1077 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:08,080 The locals have statues of him, and people even travel to visit the lake to try and get a glimpse. 1078 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,800 But I had never heard of him. 1079 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:14,600 And obviously, he's not as famous as a Loch Ness Monster, because he doesn't have, you 1080 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,440 know, ladles of him. 1081 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:17,440 Yeah. 1082 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:21,000 You can, you know, use in your kitchen. 1083 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,080 Not by a long shot, which I want one really bad. 1084 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,080 I know. 1085 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,880 So I gather that he might be a little bit, have a little bit of a complex about that. 1086 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:30,880 Yeah. 1087 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:38,900 So I mean, listen, it's probably best that I didn't go this route because I myself have a 1088 00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:42,920 Loch Ness loose leaf tea diffuser. 1089 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:43,920 Oh, yeah. 1090 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:44,920 Cute. 1091 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:45,920 See what I mean? 1092 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:46,920 There's not an OgoPogo one. 1093 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:47,920 That's right. 1094 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,280 I mean, man, that's rough. 1095 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:52,280 Living in the shadow. 1096 00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,280 Right. 1097 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,280 Yeah. 1098 00:41:54,280 --> 00:42:00,920 But one more little fun, funsy fact for you in the 80s, there was a $1 million reward for 1099 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,880 proof of the OgoPogo's existence. 1100 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,880 Oh, yeah. 1101 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:07,880 One million dollars. 1102 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,280 One million dollars. 1103 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:15,760 Wait, is the reward no longer? 1104 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:16,760 I don't think so. 1105 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:18,360 I think they probably canceled that. 1106 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:19,360 Yeah. 1107 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,240 I mean, they've got their, their tourists now on their merch. 1108 00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:23,560 So they're good to go. 1109 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:24,560 Okay. 1110 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:25,560 That's fair. 1111 00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:31,920 Are you ready to do the terror reading to find out what Mr. Bat Squatch has in mind for 1112 00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:32,920 you? 1113 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,920 What his intentions are with you? 1114 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:41,440 I, you know, it's probably best if I have all of the information, but I'm a little bit 1115 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,440 afraid. 1116 00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:43,440 That's all of the information. 1117 00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:44,440 Okay. 1118 00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:45,840 Half of all of the information. 1119 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:49,080 Listen, I'm going to trust the terror. 1120 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,240 It's going to guide me correctly. 1121 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:52,480 I think so too. 1122 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,480 It's going to know these cryptids. 1123 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,480 Okay. 1124 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:56,480 Okay. 1125 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:57,480 Ready? 1126 00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:58,480 Yeah. 1127 00:42:58,480 --> 00:42:59,480 Terror? 1128 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:00,480 Terror? 1129 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:06,480 As indie podcasters, we love to show our support of other awesome shows. 1130 00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:10,360 So stay tuned for the promo we've got to share with you this week. 1131 00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:11,760 Let's show them some love. 1132 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:15,480 You can find their info in our show notes. 1133 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:20,680 I can't possibly tell you all the crazy things that happen in the new True Crime podcast 1134 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,680 that in the water in 30 seconds. 1135 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:27,480 But what I can tell you is that it's about a well to do Australian woman who met and fell 1136 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:32,400 in love with a mysterious man who had a beautiful yacht and planned to marry him and spend 1137 00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,240 the rest of their days sailing around the world together. 1138 00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:40,280 What actually happened was serial infidelity, loss of more than a million dollars, and attempted 1139 00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:41,280 murder. 1140 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:45,240 The series is narrated by Tony Dalton of AMC's Better Call Saul. 1141 00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:50,000 You can find dead in the water by going to deadinthewaterpodcast.com or just search dead in the 1142 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,600 water from voyage media. 1143 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,840 Anyway, listen to podcasts. 1144 00:43:55,840 --> 00:44:00,880 If you're a frequent PNW Haunts and Homicides listener, you probably already know we're 1145 00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:02,560 birdie ambassadors. 1146 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:07,760 We wanted to take a quick moment to tell you a little bit more about this awesome product. 1147 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,760 Birdie is the modern, personal safety alarm made for women by women. 1148 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:17,040 In a situation where you feel threatened or unsafe, you can simply activate birdie's 1149 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:21,480 loud siren and flashing light to create a diversion. 1150 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:26,800 Birdie is perfect to carry any time because the device is lightweight and comes in a variety 1151 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:27,800 of colors. 1152 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:29,280 So important. 1153 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:36,120 Use our Ambassador link and coupon code, PNWHAUNTSANDHOMICIDES, to receive 10% off your 1154 00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:37,600 purchase. 1155 00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:42,440 Like our social media handles, the coupon code is all spelled out no special characters. 1156 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:48,120 You can find the link in promo code in our show notes or PNW Haunts and Homicides link tree. 1157 00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:52,320 Have a safe stay. 1158 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,720 You guys were back. 1159 00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:57,280 And don't worry, we did get more wine. 1160 00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:02,400 Well, of course. 1161 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,040 I'm excited for this tarot read. 1162 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:05,040 I wasn't. 1163 00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,880 We had a lot of technical difficulties. 1164 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:07,880 Now fucking chill. 1165 00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,880 I'm feeling it. 1166 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:09,880 Yeah. 1167 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,880 We got it figured out. 1168 00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:12,880 Okay. 1169 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,200 We're probably being cursed and or haunted. 1170 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:17,480 Yeah. 1171 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,480 So I regret my decisions. 1172 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,800 So like maybe Bat Squatch isn't the one for me. 1173 00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:24,800 He is. 1174 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:25,800 Don't say that about him. 1175 00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:36,040 And when we have the other rogue beer, the gumberu, so rogue made the gumberu, the 1176 00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:39,640 Bat Squatch and colossal clod into beers. 1177 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:45,960 And I did not know that before I picked them for this episode, I knew colossal clod did. 1178 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:46,960 Yeah. 1179 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,160 That's the only one I knew about. 1180 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:52,560 Even in like researching them, typing in their names into Google, I didn't either, it 1181 00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:56,920 didn't register that they had beers or it just didn't come up. 1182 00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:57,920 But yeah. 1183 00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:02,120 So it's pretty surprised and happy to find that out. 1184 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:06,880 We don't have OgoPogo yet, but we will start a petition. 1185 00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:07,880 Absolutely. 1186 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:11,680 Okay, Caitlin. 1187 00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:12,680 That's me. 1188 00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,680 Pick your eligible. 1189 00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:15,680 What are you? 1190 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,280 Sassy, sexy, single. 1191 00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:18,280 Oh boy. 1192 00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:19,280 Okay. 1193 00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,280 Yeah. 1194 00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:21,280 Okay. 1195 00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,520 For Bat Squatch's intentions with you. 1196 00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:24,520 Okay. 1197 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,760 What did we get? 1198 00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:28,760 Shut up. 1199 00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:29,760 Did we get? 1200 00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:30,760 Shut up. 1201 00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:31,760 What did we get? 1202 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:32,760 Oh, cool. 1203 00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:36,600 We got the fool. 1204 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:37,600 That's my card. 1205 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:38,600 Okay. 1206 00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,320 It was really debating. 1207 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,880 I think the fool is kind of fitting for this one. 1208 00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,680 He's some sort of otter, the river otter. 1209 00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:48,680 Just a sea otter. 1210 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:49,680 Okay. 1211 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,920 Oh, this is this actually works, I think. 1212 00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:53,920 Okay. 1213 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:54,920 So good. 1214 00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:55,920 Okay. 1215 00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:04,720 So our key words are innocence, beginnings, trust, hope, and opportunity. 1216 00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:07,800 It's the first card in the major arcana. 1217 00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,240 The fool begins your journey toward wisdom. 1218 00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:15,000 The fool represents innocence and faith. 1219 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,480 The naive confidence of youth. 1220 00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:24,000 Shown as a young traveler, he embarks on an adventure without a care in the world. 1221 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:28,320 He's concerned about the potential dangers that lurk ahead on the path. 1222 00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:31,000 I think you're the fool. 1223 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,040 That doesn't sound like me at all. 1224 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,080 You pick a cryptid to date, you fool. 1225 00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,080 I know. 1226 00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:40,160 That's what he's trying to say. 1227 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:47,040 In some decks, he appears as a happy, go-lucky young male standing at the edge of a cliff. 1228 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,040 Just about to step off into the great unknown. 1229 00:47:50,040 --> 00:48:00,320 Then he carries all his worldly possessions tied in a small bag on a stick over his shoulder. 1230 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:04,600 Suggesting he doesn't have a lot of baggage yet and is open to life's experiences. 1231 00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:09,720 Oh, well, the bag's quite doesn't have like friends or family, so probably not a lot 1232 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:10,720 of baggage. 1233 00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:12,720 Yeah, I would think. 1234 00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:15,320 Oh, my goodness. 1235 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:21,080 The fool symbolizes the blind leap of faith we almost take upon entering the journey of 1236 00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:23,920 life. 1237 00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:28,440 A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. 1238 00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:33,760 Oh, when the fool appears in a reading, it usually means you're about to embark on a 1239 00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:35,720 new way of life. 1240 00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:36,720 You're open. 1241 00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:37,720 Oh, yeah. 1242 00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:42,440 Yeah, you are. 1243 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:48,160 You're open to new experiences and to discovering what lies around the bend. 1244 00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:53,080 Even if you're not sure about the path you've chosen, you have faith that everything will 1245 00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:54,600 turn out well. 1246 00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:59,000 You probably feel out of sync with the rest of the world. 1247 00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,000 But in a good way, are we so sure? 1248 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,760 Oh, listen, I'm wearing literal rose colored glasses. 1249 00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:11,720 I'm channeling Elton John here, but like, I ain't no fool. 1250 00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:17,640 You hear the beat of a different drummer and you're ready to march to it. 1251 00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:20,560 You hear the beat of leathery bat wings. 1252 00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:22,240 Oh, boy. 1253 00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:25,440 I'm skipping right to the love reading. 1254 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:26,440 Perfect. 1255 00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:32,800 In a reading about love, this card often means beginning a romance or moving into a new 1256 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,520 stage in an existing relationship. 1257 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:42,400 A new relationship may feel faded as if you've met your soulmate. 1258 00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:46,880 That's what you're soulmates. 1259 00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:51,360 Enjoy this period of joy, openness and excitement. 1260 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,920 Oh, there's another extra excerpt. 1261 00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,960 The quest for meaning always takes us into the unknown. 1262 00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,680 Oh, boy. 1263 00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:04,680 Okay. 1264 00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,000 I can these bad boys off. 1265 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,880 I feel like they are blinding me. 1266 00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:08,880 I love that. 1267 00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,280 That was the perfect reading. 1268 00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:14,280 It made up for all of our problems in the beginning, I think. 1269 00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:16,040 Oh, my goodness. 1270 00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:17,040 Yeah. 1271 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,320 We were having some real technical difficulties. 1272 00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,520 Yeah, we were. 1273 00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:29,720 Do you like our explosion of Valentine's all over the bed and the altar and it's perfect. 1274 00:50:29,720 --> 00:50:30,720 It's beautiful. 1275 00:50:30,720 --> 00:50:34,240 I love your heart shaped little shelf here. 1276 00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:37,840 And you got is this love potion? 1277 00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:38,920 It's actually poison. 1278 00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:44,840 We're going to pretend it's love potion, which AKA poison. 1279 00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:48,400 Well, we hope you all have a swell V day. 1280 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:53,560 No matter what you do, if you celebrate, if you don't, if you have a date, if you don't 1281 00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:57,640 do something for yourself, self love is important. 1282 00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,280 Happy Valentine's Day for you people. 1283 00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:01,280 This is really fun episode. 1284 00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:05,120 I had a lot of fun being creative and making shit up. 1285 00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:06,640 That was a good time. 1286 00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:10,160 We're going to have to do this again for sure. 1287 00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:16,840 So write in with suggestions of credits because we're doing this again. 1288 00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,520 If I have to write it myself, we're doing it again. 1289 00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:20,520 That was too much fun. 1290 00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:21,520 Yeah, sure turn. 1291 00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:22,520 I'm obsessed. 1292 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:23,520 Oh, thanks. 1293 00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:27,880 Have a creepy ass Valentine's Day. 1294 00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,960 See you next Tuesday. 1295 00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:40,400 I'm less, you're one of the three bachelor cryptids that Caitlyn didn't pick. 1296 00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:41,400 Lose my number. 1297 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,160 Yeah, I'm sure they're all very upset. 1298 00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:47,400 I'm going to have to call each one of them personally afterwards and tell them the bad news. 1299 00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,200 So wish me luck every morning. 1300 00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:55,040 If I'm not here next week, you guys know why. 1301 00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:58,280 I might have been eaten by a cryptid because he was mad. 1302 00:51:58,280 --> 00:51:59,280 Okay. 1303 00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:02,080 Listen, we're going to have to have a chat with them. 1304 00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,080 That's not how you solve problems. 1305 00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:05,080 Okay. 1306 00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:06,080 Bye. 1307 00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:07,080 Bye. 1308 00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:08,080 Bye. 1309 00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:18,200 Oh, that is not a birthday present for Kelce! 1310 00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:22,440 That is a bed save. 1311 00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,600 Please read it. 1312 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,120 I cannot read it. 1313 00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,320 You want me to read it? 1314 00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,320 Oh, my God. 1315 00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:34,320 I mean, I would hardly call this a family show. 1316 00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,320 No, we don't need to read it. 1317 00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:37,320 Oh, my God. 1318 00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:38,320 No, we have to read it. 1319 00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:39,320 Oh, you want to read it? 1320 00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:40,320 Oh, my God. 1321 00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:50,320 If there's any kids around sitting around with the room immediately, if that's sooner, why 1322 00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,320 are you letting your kids listen to that? 1323 00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,320 Don't let them listen to me. 1324 00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,320 Yeah. 1325 00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:56,320 I'm naughty. 1326 00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,320 Jesus. 1327 00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,320 Okay. 1328 00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:04,000 The submarine. 1329 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:12,440 Also known as a sexual act involving a man eating out a woman's vagina while masturbating. 1330 00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:13,440 Okay. 1331 00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,440 Seems tame. 1332 00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:25,400 Just before he comes to completion, he looks up at her when she notices him looking at 1333 00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:26,400 her. 1334 00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:36,000 He says target locked, which is I can't know, never target locked. 1335 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,400 Target is officially out of the room. 1336 00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:48,280 While the girl is still in confusion, he says fire torpedo as he jumps up and comes to completion 1337 00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:52,400 on her face in her face on her face in her face. 1338 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,080 Oh, boy. 1339 00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:58,080 Then walks away saying target destroyed. 1340 00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:05,080 And I would literally end the life of this critter. 1341 00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:10,520 I mean, this is something you need to talk about with your partner beforehand and make sure 1342 00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,480 everyone's okay with it. 1343 00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:20,840 Yeah, because listen, this definition comes with, can I hear it in a sentence? 1344 00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:21,840 And here we go. 1345 00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:26,640 Kelce was so surprised when I gave her that submarine for her birthday. 1346 00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:27,640 No. 1347 00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:31,280 Don't surprise the submarine on any of it. 1348 00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,840 Never surprise anyone with anything ever. 1349 00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:34,840 No. 1350 00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:35,840 Never. 1351 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:36,840 Consent is key. 1352 00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:37,840 Yeah. 1353 00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,720 Also, that does not sound like a birthday present for Kelce. 1354 00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:41,720 Just FYI. 1355 00:54:41,720 --> 00:54:42,720 Kelce. 1356 00:54:42,720 --> 00:54:43,720 Are you okay? 1357 00:54:43,720 --> 00:54:44,720 Kelce is not okay. 1358 00:54:44,720 --> 00:54:54,720 pnwhauntsandhomicides.com