To All The Men I've Tolerated Before: ADHD Diagnosing

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,120 Hey, tolerators. This is Natalie. And before we get to the meat of the episode, 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:11,080 I had some quick announcements for to all the men I've tolerated before. First, 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:16,800 we have our fall merch available in our merchandise store. So make sure that you 4 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:23,480 get yourself to the link in the show notes to check out our tarot inspired and spooky 5 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,800 inspired anti-massage and the merch. 6 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:33,160 Our Patreon is currently running a seven day free trial on all tiers. 7 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:39,760 So if you join the Patreon now, your first week is free and you could binge all 8 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:46,240 of our bonus episodes where we get to have a deep dive into the friendship I have with 9 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:53,880 some of our most beloved guests. We are also having a monthly newsletter and a 10 00:00:53,880 --> 00:01:01,360 biweekly blog post and that information can also be found at the link in our show notes. 11 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:06,840 Please make sure to check out all of these changes and also follow us on Instagram at 12 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:11,760 men I've tolerated pod or TikTok at Natalie K124. 13 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:18,120 So you can see all of these changes happening in real time. Enjoy the episode. 14 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:39,840 [Music] 15 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:44,640 Hey, Tyler Readers. This is to all the men I've tolerated before with Natalie Patona. 16 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:49,440 You're weekly look at everyday misogyny. Today my guest is from the podcast. 17 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:54,280 The bar is ankle high, which if you have ever listened to me complain about a 18 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:59,920 romcom or Lucas Scott on one tree hill. I'm still comfy. You know this is one of my 19 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,160 most headfast beliefs on the show. 20 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,960 [Laughs] 21 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:10,560 Katie and her coos here are openly honest about life, love and everything that comes 22 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:15,880 with an ADHD diagnosis. Today we will be talking about how misogyny plays a role in 23 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:20,080 how women often go undiagnosed and untreated for ADHD. 24 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:25,280 Welcome and thank you so much for being here Katie. Thank you so much for having us. 25 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,080 I know that my co-host Gary would have loved to be here. She just couldn't make it today. 26 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:35,280 But yeah, no, we are the bar's ankle high. Actually started and was inspired that name. 27 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:41,120 Was inspired by a coworker I used to have and we were talking about dating go figure. 28 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:46,000 And she was dating a guy who all she wanted was that good morning tax, right? 29 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:54,400 And all this motherfucker would send her is like GM and would say shit like that. 30 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:59,440 And she was like she's just getting so irritated. And then she was like well I know he's doing 31 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:06,160 it now because I know it's pissing off. And he's like doing that cat and mouse bullshit. 32 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:11,040 She's like honestly like the bar is ankle high. I'm asking for a text message. 33 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:15,680 The iPhone like pre-populates the words for you. Like this is just ridiculous. So it just 34 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:20,440 turned into this whole thing. And when I worked with her we had something with my co-workers 35 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:24,640 called the Tinder committee because all of us were single and trying to date and so we 36 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:31,600 would like group thing for perspective date and see who was like worthy and not worthy. 37 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:36,400 And as of right now only one person from that committee is with somebody to met during 38 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:43,800 that round of dating. Good for them. The winner. I'm sure it was you you would have claimed 39 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:49,040 the crown like it's me. Oh I sure I would have actually had a crown. 40 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:59,120 So yeah we should always have a crown. Yeah on on on standby. It's like the I mean I'm 41 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:03,480 drinking champagne tonight but like that Coco Chanel quote like ooh always have champagne 42 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:07,720 in the fridge because sometimes the special occasion is just that you have champagne in the 43 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:14,520 fridge. I simply I can't remember when we connected about your podcast name and my podcast 44 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:20,840 name. If I told you that like my tattoos always like the bars on the ground and it's starting 45 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:26,520 to slowly sink because that's how long it's been in the ground. I don't actually remember 46 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:38,640 typical but yeah it was something to that effect. Do we meet in Peru? Do you listen to and 47 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:44,080 that's why we drink? I do listen to and that's why we drink. Are you in the podcast group 48 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:53,120 for them? I'm in the podcast. Yes that might be how we went up. Yeah I'm up with everyone 49 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,400 through Instagram so I'm like I don't know I probably answered one of your stories as 50 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:05,160 a text message as you do when you're like this person probably wants my opinion. I mean 51 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,440 it's not unreasonable I'm pretty active on our Instagram but no I think it was actually 52 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:15,640 in the club podcast group that we linked up which tracks because actually the co-host of 53 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:22,680 that podcast is the reason that I thought I had a HD and their experience in seeking 54 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:27,360 a diagnosis and exploring that really kind of validated my own experience but I was like 55 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:31,680 a minute and then I had already worked with Garrett for a few years at that point but I 56 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:37,320 was talking with her about it and she was like oh yeah I got diagnosed a few years ago 57 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:41,600 so that I would like check in with her and be like hey what about this? She's like yeah 58 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:47,360 no that's that's the thing and so that I asked my therapist for an assessment and she's 59 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:53,320 like well I can't assess you because I'm not an MD and that's in New York and so I saw 60 00:05:53,320 --> 00:06:01,320 my GP and yeah he diagnosed me but yeah so at the age of 34 I was finally diagnosed with 61 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:05,960 ADHD which is also crazy because my mom for sure has it and my brother was diagnosed as a 62 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:16,060 child of course and I think today I mean I always did very well in school but I think today my 63 00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:21,280 brother probably would have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder back in the day he 64 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:27,000 was diagnosed, well not diagnosed but he was assessed for Asperger's which of course you 65 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:32,640 don't say anymore but at the time we were but he was given the categorization of borderline 66 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:39,120 aspergers so he wasn't allowed to have the in-school supports for it because he didn't actually have 67 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:45,040 the diagnosis with his IEP but looking at him now, what's that ASD? 68 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:52,920 Like there's so much where I'm like bro and I think that's one of the things that I want 69 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:58,920 to make sure that we talk about is like how stingy and selfish people like to be with 70 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:07,880 the accommodations like one time I asked the police sister to repeat herself and it was something 71 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:13,280 that I had to know I do not remember what it was or whatever and she's like I'm not repeating 72 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:19,840 myself I've already told you and I was like uh-huh and I was I think I got a text message 73 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:25,400 or whatever and I was like so I didn't hear it and I need the information and she's like 74 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:31,800 I'm I'm not repeating myself and I was like and I just want to just because at the very beginning 75 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:37,240 and I remember feeling this way about my disorder to and depression and all of it when you're 76 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:42,000 at the very beginning of being like oh this is what's going on in my body and my brain 77 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,880 everything is just like hyper-sensitive and wrapped up to the a million. 78 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:50,480 I'm sure I like got up the phone with her burst in the tears and was like I'm a throat 79 00:07:50,480 --> 00:08:00,160 no one's ever accommodated me how hard is it to just accommodate people totally yeah and I've 80 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:05,400 seen a lot especially since especially since starting the podcast but even before starting 81 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:09,440 the podcast I had hopped on Reddit and I was like okay like let's see what Reddit has to say 82 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:14,400 when it comes to information they help me find the right broad size so like why not right and 83 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:20,000 um I've seen that chart the one where you have to bend over and lay on the floor and lay on 84 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:25,520 your side yeah I did it and let me tell you it like I mean I have some underwire bras they're nice 85 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:31,440 now yeah I don't I don't um I have to rip them off of my body like they're made of acid and I'm in 86 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:40,080 the lake and Dante's peak anymore and I understand I also was like what do you mean I'm like a letter 87 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:46,800 cup higher and two bands higher and then and so I was like yeah your boobs are just supposed to 88 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:52,480 float in the cup not just be compressed by the cup I was like what's up but you were on Reddit trying 89 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:59,600 to be like so does the deep sea thing and call focusing by the way good job um yeah so I was just 90 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:04,960 looking at it and you know there was a lot of people asking questions of like you know basically 91 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:10,240 like that seen from Mrs. Doubtfire when Sally feels it's like the whole time the whole time this was 92 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:16,240 it this is what was going on and so I was reading all these posts and like reading about people's 93 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:20,960 dating experiences and I'll be like yep that resonates and yep that resonates again 94 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:29,120 like holy shit doesn't everybody's going through this and I mean I would say that mine my personal 95 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:37,360 experience with ADHD isn't so severe in me like I can do the dishes like I would probably I probably 96 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:44,400 leave them way longer than I ought to but it's never almost never at a point where I have to throw 97 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:50,240 something away because it's so disgusting and moldy unless it's like fell out of my bag and under 98 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:56,720 the seat in my car and I just forgot about it so it's not quite that extreme I've never lost a job 99 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:04,160 because of my ADHD but there are a lot of experiences especially when it came to the executive function 100 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:10,720 thing because my apartment was constantly a mess and I remember my mom saying to me when I was a child 101 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:16,640 like well it never really bothered me if your room was messy because you'll care when you have 102 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:20,080 company over like when you're a teenager and you start having your friends over you'll come up 103 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:25,680 because you'll care and she's right the thing is that's the only time I'll call you exactly yes 104 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:31,760 like I need that threat and I mean I'm an attorney I made it through law school and undergrad I 105 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:37,360 graduated undergrad with honors I managed to get out of law school anyway I did not graduate with 106 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:43,120 honors but I passed the bar on my first time and it's the not that it matters you're no better or 107 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:47,680 worse than an attorney no matter how many times you take the bar as long as you pass it um but yeah 108 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:51,360 so I was looking at Reddit and it was that kind of thing where I was like well shoot like I wonder what 109 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:57,920 I could have done differently and what especially my dating life but then if I had known this about 110 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:06,640 myself sooner I think on the one hand I know that we've talked before but um I was in a abusive 111 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:16,480 relationship that culminated in a night of physical violence and I am not grateful for that but I know 112 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:22,160 that the work that I've done since that happened has made me a much more secure and strong person 113 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:29,440 but that being said I think a lot of what I was tolerating was because I was trying to make up for my 114 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:36,480 ADHD that I didn't know with ADHD and I think that's what I was just coming to terms with now as 115 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:42,000 we were talking where I'm like because it's that whole like what could I have accomplished had I have 116 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:47,920 known or if I had understood what was going on in my body and my brain or if I had worked better with 117 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:54,080 my body and my brain instead of just holding me like other people clean your house or clean their house 118 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:59,680 and you're just useless and you just don't refuse to do things that you don't like to animate 119 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:05,600 like do you think that I don't like everyday I just also don't clean the shower right yeah like I 120 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:09,120 guess it was like I get out like I'm in the shower and I'm like I really got a cleanness it's getting 121 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:14,400 slippery and then I get out of the shower and the shower no longer exists you should see my car 122 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:20,560 because that's my car's start I was thinking about it and it's like so many like what I have been a 123 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:27,440 teacher if I didn't know that like being a teacher was like a quote unquote normal female run 124 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:33,680 of the male job that would eventually get you to wife status would I remember when I truly think that 125 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:41,680 I would have experimented more sexually or had been more open about the idea that I fall somewhere 126 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:50,960 on the LGBTQ spectrum of things if I wasn't always trying to make my life fit what I thought and like 127 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:57,280 a lot of things playing to that depression religion misogyny politics your family all of 128 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:03,600 that but it's your juggling all of that and then one day someone's like also your brain needs help 129 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:10,000 have you thought about that and you're like I just need help I don't know my brain does my brain or 130 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:15,760 just me exactly it's definitely not feeling of like well yeah of course if I could just push a 131 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:23,280 button and fix it I would like I don't enjoy like I I definitely so it's not that I don't enjoy 132 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:29,440 having a messy place it's that it doesn't bother me I for sure do enjoy having a clean place 133 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:37,200 and having a very tidy place and having everything put away so it looks like a magazine I love 134 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:41,840 when that happens that's one of the very few reasons I'm looking forward to moving and if you see 135 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:47,840 there will be a point where everything is put away and it looks like I'm about to have a photo shoot 136 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:54,320 in my living room it's getting to that point and I think for so long especially professionally speaking 137 00:13:54,320 --> 00:14:03,120 so much of what I did was build as um oh I'm just a perfectionist and I'm just super competitive 138 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:08,720 which is fair I mean I knew I wanted to be in a train because I won a moth trial in seventh grade 139 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:13,840 and then I decided that I wanted to be in a train and that was the end like I had backup plans 140 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:20,240 but like not really like they were backup plans because people are like okay well what if you don't 141 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:25,040 get into law school pretty competitive but I had really good grades so I was like well yeah like 142 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:30,240 theoretically I can do whatever the fuck I want I will just pick something else 143 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:35,680 right like I grew up in the 90s remember you said I could do whatever I wanted to do so like 144 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:44,160 eat a whole dick but like but so I like went to law school and I would have trouble especially 145 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:49,120 leaving deadlines and I would say like oh I'm really deadline oriented and I was in the sense that I 146 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,200 met all of my deadlines but I would meet them at the last minute and I would meet them at the last 147 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:58,560 minute because I needed that like a adrenaline rush of am I gonna get it done am I gonna get it done 148 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:04,960 to actually finally just like hit the gas pedal because up to that point it was like this paralysis 149 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:09,120 thing and it doesn't mean that I'm not thinking about the thing that I have to do which on the one hand 150 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:15,040 as I'm 20 it's helpful it allows me to work on something else while I just have this other thing 151 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:19,520 going on in the back burner where I'm like okay well how do I want to wear that augment like could I 152 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:24,720 come at it from this way but I'm working on this other thing on the front burner so in that 153 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:30,800 perspective it can be helpful but overall it's not helpful I'm doing so much better now that I'm 154 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:36,640 meditating and diagnosed then I ever was before I mean my therapist is able to offer me like 155 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:42,560 working solutions to problems that I'm having with managing my time and managing my personal life 156 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:49,440 and it's also allowed me to having that diagnosis and even having the clarity of like understanding 157 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:55,840 what's going on without a formal diagnosis allows you to take those steps to work towards what works 158 00:15:55,840 --> 00:16:03,200 for you I also noticed when I was on Reddit that there were a lot of people even now make only them 159 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:09,520 about a year so it's not much has changed but there's a lot of gatekeeping and a lot of gatekeeping 160 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:18,320 diagnosing and a lot of like saying well not everything is ADHD and I agree not everything is ADHD 161 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:22,800 sometimes it's depression sometimes it's anxiety sometimes it's autism spectrum disorder 162 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:28,160 sometimes you just forget to move the laundry from the washroom to the dryer and that's a 163 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:33,200 totally normal thing for people who work full time and have families and obligations the issue 164 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:38,320 and the difference is that it's actually impairing my life the difference is that I can't have 165 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:45,840 company over at a moment's notice because my house is in this the issue is that I am missing deadlines 166 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:50,080 or if I'm not missing a deadline I'm not doing as good of a job on something that I should be doing 167 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:55,280 when I have plenty of time to do a good job on it the issue is that in my interpersonal 168 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:02,800 relationships my romantic relationships there I'm struggling with those boundaries and with 169 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:12,000 understanding and reading other people and and not interrupting I mean oh my god my use of eggs 170 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:16,880 he said to me one time like one of the things that he was like really good on me about was that I was 171 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:23,200 always interrupting him and then we spent some time with my extended family on my mom's side 172 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,600 and we left and he was like well now I know what you get it from because your entire family interrupts 173 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:32,800 and it's fucking disgusting and I was like whoa I never noticed it before because we all interrupt 174 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:40,000 you know that video right it's just called normal in my family look and because so I have a lot of 175 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:45,120 pride in speaking after my mom's side of the family but it's a lot of the same thing where we tell 176 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:51,680 stories in the round because everyone knows the story so as soon as my uncle has paused because he 177 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:57,360 needs to breathe then someone just picks up the next part of the story and then someone goes that's 178 00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:02,640 not how it happened at all it was a Sunday and now they're in charge of the story and you're all 179 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:08,480 laughing and having a good time so you're like this is normal and this is what love looks like 180 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:14,400 right and even if it's not like even telling a story in the round like you just interrupt you 181 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:21,600 you all probably have ADHD that reminds you of it and that's the end and it's just whatever 182 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:28,400 like it just never occurred to me as a problem my biggest downfall is actually that I was so 183 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:35,440 successful against my own like better doing because I too would just push it until be like 184 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:42,000 I can write a 20 page paper in two hours and how do you someone tell me that I couldn't 185 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:49,040 and then do it and score the A or the B or whatever and be like ha ha yeah I'm brilliant 186 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:54,720 and oh my god that's how I got through all of high school like yeah I would and I remember there's 187 00:18:54,720 --> 00:19:08,800 a kid now who's a cardiologist whatever whatever great nerd but we were in AP Euro together and I 188 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:15,040 remember him saying like to somebody else but like next to me basically like maybe not even smart 189 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:19,200 why is she even in this class and I was like first of all fuck you I'm about to have my L with 190 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:25,440 moment but second of all funny either you're stupid because we're in the same class or I'm smart 191 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:30,640 like I don't know what to tell you and he was like super p.o because in New York we have like our state 192 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:36,640 regents exams at the end of each year and then we had the AP exam and he was like super mad that 193 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:42,480 I got a four on the test and then on the AP test and then I did like whatever 95 to 98 or something 194 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:49,360 on the regents exam and I was like duh I'm a good test taker the problem is the homework in between 195 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:56,720 have you heard I'm brilliant um I was in a exact same way and if I wasn't naturally gifted at 196 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:02,720 something my perfectionist frame would immediately go we don't have to care about this because if we 197 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:09,280 had to care about it we would just be good at it and then I would trick someone into getting 198 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:16,560 me by sometimes it was a student teacher sometimes it was an older guy in my class who was like my friend 199 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:23,680 and also like the fake teacher assistant because it's like high school and that's how he's just spending 200 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:31,360 his study hall and I'm like hey buddy it's me you're cute adorable funny friend what is when you 201 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:39,040 made my homework you just remember how much you love me and I and I was diabolical and I got whatever 202 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:46,400 I wanted whatever I wanted and then that continued into college and then you're in this fucking real 203 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:53,440 world and they're like who told you you get what you want and I was like my brain because I'm so good 204 00:20:53,440 --> 00:21:01,760 at the hustle my issue in undergrad was that I mean I loved my major I was a pretty medieval and 205 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:07,680 pre-modern history major and um I could just read my notes from from lecture if I just want to 206 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:13,120 lecture and took notes I was fine and I did well on the exams and I would read you know sometimes 207 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:19,520 if the class was interesting and if the professor made it interesting but otherwise like I was 208 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:26,320 pretty solid like I was on the dean's list every semester and I was cool the problem with that 209 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:30,720 was that I went to law school and it turns out you can't just read the notes from class that's useless 210 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:36,400 hugger law school yeah this is crap and they kept saying like all this is a crack method and it was 211 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:40,880 like means shit to me I don't know what that means you keep saying so crack method as if that's 212 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:45,760 supposed to be an answer to the question I don't and I have like no concepts like looking back 213 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:52,160 I'm like like our TA in law school was like well you can do an outline for the final after the syllabus 214 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:58,480 or you can base it on the textbook and I was like what the fuck are you talking about what 215 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:04,480 what outline and then I was even more confused because I was like okay well I'll do the textbook one 216 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:10,880 fine like we basically went through the textbook in order still doesn't answer my question because I 217 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:17,360 highlighted everything I had no fucking cool out reading where's the cardiologist asking why I was in 218 00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:27,520 law school then and then I went to teacher school and to me teacher school is a lot of just like 219 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:35,680 soft skills that they then make textbooks out of and they're like don't you want to know the science 220 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:43,040 of the braiding wickets can we and I'm like why would I ever need to know that so no so I would just 221 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:50,800 like thanks for asking unsubscribe yeah thank you but no I'm master's please yes there's please 222 00:22:53,680 --> 00:23:00,080 so I was really good at all of the performative parts of teaching um and then again it was like that 223 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:07,600 false sense of success and then so when I quit teaching to go work in theater a friend that I had 224 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:12,560 having college he was younger than me like went back to one of our college events and ended up 225 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:18,160 telling one of my education professors oh nearly doesn't teach any more she um she got a job in 226 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:24,560 theater she's really loving it and that and he loved me I remember this professor loving me so I'm 227 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:32,480 just like so hurt but he went I knew naply wouldn't love teaching but you know what she was just like 228 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:41,600 one of our stars and I was like no you call me aside and you go hey honey do you want to spend six 229 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:50,320 years just be like more in the mud with your code appendancy but it's with like 38 year olds 230 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:59,360 I think that that is a part of a higher education especially that is not talked about enough I had a 231 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:03,280 professor in law school because my first year of law school I actually did down in my early Florida 232 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:07,120 and I had a professor who like pulled me aside one day I went to his office hours about 233 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:16,320 some things like pd are you are you happy here and I was like no like this like my amy suck it's hot 234 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:23,840 100% of the time it's so fucking humid it's Florida people are mean the drivers have no work 235 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:29,200 in tail lights I'm sorry why is there no state inspection in a place that has no fault insurance 236 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:36,240 and like it is just fucking crazy to me like I don't understand you have daily downpours where you 237 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:40,080 can't see your hand in front of your face but you don't have to get like mandatory car inspections or 238 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:45,440 you need to have work in tail lights fucking nuts absolutely fucking nuts no this place is crazy I 239 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:50,240 absolutely he said will be one of the professors law here and I was like no why would I this place is 240 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:59,440 the hell hole and he was basically like yeah so the thing is he's like I vacation every summer 241 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:04,800 in upstate Newark in the out of on backs um you need to go home you need to go back to Newark 242 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:11,280 and I was like there there he's like why didn't you go to Albany law like that's a great school and 243 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:15,680 I was like my whole family would go Albany law and I would like go somewhere where they were and get 244 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:25,440 into free and he was like that's that's not that's not it something in that way they're never gonna 245 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:31,840 cancel your student loans Katie well he was basically like like if you can get into a place 246 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:38,720 because your family is known there just fucking take that hand out like no that's not not the 247 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:46,800 hole to die on what you're saying is I can blame my stubbornness on ADHD thank goodness I'm gonna write that down 248 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:56,960 accommodate me it is um I'm I'm of the mindset actually that I think ADHD will end up being 249 00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:03,520 incorporated into autism spectrum disorder I think ADHD itself is a spectrum of course but I think 250 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:11,440 that there's so much overlap in the symptoms of ADHD and ASD particularly I think in 251 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:18,400 the elements of rigidity especially I think you see all these like tweets or whatever 252 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:23,600 what people are talking about how like if I can fully understand your reason for having a rule 253 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:28,720 I will follow your rule if I don't understand your reason for it or I think your reasoning is 254 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:33,520 flawed or stupid then I'm not going to follow your rule I'm gonna do it my own way because my I know 255 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:39,920 that my own way is either more efficient for me or more efficient for everybody but it works for me 256 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:46,880 better than your way and I'm gonna do it my way and I'm gonna dig my heels in and a story and 257 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:54,640 that sort of rigidity I think is more often associated with autism spectrum disorder but I see it a lot 258 00:26:54,640 --> 00:27:03,920 in ADHDers I think that we are very rigid in our understanding of things and I think that especially 259 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:13,760 having a co-host who also has ADHD my partner has ADHD her partner has ADHD so between the four of us 260 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:18,560 like there are definitely points where we have to all kind of take a step back and like think about 261 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:24,400 the words that we're choosing because we are all also the four of us friends but when there's 262 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:30,320 like this business component to it we have to like separate things a little bit and say like okay 263 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:36,720 this is what I would like let me know if you can do that or not and then I can adjust my 264 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:42,000 expectations or adjust and figure out what I'm asking and you can figure out if what I'm asking 265 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:49,360 is unreasonable and/or why and go from there but you it is something that you really have to be conscious 266 00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:54,960 that you're working on and when especially when you're undiagnosed or you're newly diagnosed 267 00:27:54,960 --> 00:28:00,800 or you've been diagnosed for a long time burnout can catch up with you so fast you didn't 268 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:06,960 episode on it in I think it was December and we didn't episode on burnout and it was just this idea 269 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:14,400 of like when you have ADHD everybody is is riding a bicycle whether you have ADHD or not everybody's 270 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:21,440 on a bicycle but if you have ADHD you're on a low year trying to go uphill and so you're pedaling 271 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:27,440 so much faster and so much harder than everybody else just to keep up but by the time you get to the 272 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:32,400 top of the hill they might be a little bit out of breath you need a full break like you need to get 273 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:37,360 off the bike and walk around and catch your breath and get your bearings and then you can probably go 274 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:45,360 down the hill way faster but you need that time to recalibrate and catch your breath but the reality 275 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:52,960 is especially I think if you're undiagnosed and I mean the reality is that I think in fact I know 276 00:28:52,960 --> 00:29:00,080 my current employer my supervisor made a comment to me in like December or December of last year where 277 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:05,760 he didn't know that I had a HD at this point but he made a comment with me and said oh well if you 278 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:12,960 want to talk you think you have ADHD now or whatever and I was like well yeah some people do and 279 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:19,920 it looked at me and I was like well well like and the reality is like again I think there is 280 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:28,320 something that comes from being like aging like I'm 35 now my boss might be 15 years older than me 281 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:37,520 but I'm experienced enough in my field that we're effectively the same so it's it's enough for me to say 282 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:44,160 like no you don't get to speak to me that way which is the benefit of aging I think and it's beautiful 283 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:49,040 and it's something that nobody's nobody ever told us when we were kids that like when you're older you 284 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:56,080 actually like get to really hold your own and it's like really beautiful and powerful way and whether 285 00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:03,360 you choose to dye your hair or get Botox or not you still get to do all those things and be like really 286 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:11,040 assertive and like like wonder woman like Gal Gadot when she like realizes her power is kind of thing 287 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:16,320 also with Chris Evans because you're sidekick but also doing that or not Chris Evans 288 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:23,520 no Chris Pine yeah all the Chris's all the Chris's man except for Chris Pratt 289 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:33,040 so mad at him all the time and I think when it comes to art so there's so much where the popular 290 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:40,800 and I don't know I'm not a historian but I think that this is the pattern society and large groups of 291 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:47,920 people will be like three to five years ahead of where we're actually at so we're looking at 292 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:54,720 employers where still like you work a nine to five maybe around 10 30 you get a little jittery 293 00:30:54,720 --> 00:31:01,280 so you go and you like stand at a waterfall where it was someone and talk about praise anatomy and then 294 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:07,440 at noon everyone goes to lunch and then at five everyone goes home and by seven year eating dinner 295 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:14,080 and they just think like that's how it should be that's how it will be and everyone can live in that 296 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:22,720 flow and what I've learned is once I didn't have to live in that flow anymore because of the pandemic 297 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:29,120 I could not transition back to you telling me what I had to do when I had to do it yeah I know that 298 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:37,520 not to speak for her but my co-host Garrett feels that way immensely and because she's currently 299 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:45,120 pregnant she's considering like our our offices policies on pumping and the availability of a pumping 300 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:51,200 space for nursing mothers which is required by state and federal law but she's going through all 301 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:56,480 these things where she is sad like we had a whole conversation at work with actually one of our 302 00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:01,520 meeting reps the other day and the union rep was like well just ask for reasonable accommodation and 303 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:07,040 you can work from home five days a week because we have a hybrid schedule right now when you can work 304 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:13,760 from home two days a week if you want and because she said she's like I can't go back two 305 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:20,000 weeks five days a week like absolutely not and so she said like she's like I might have to because 306 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:26,560 they want her to like pump on a regular schedule every single day at the back same time you have to 307 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:32,320 go down to HR get the key to the pumping room then go from R4 which is the sucking for then go up 308 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:38,160 to the fourth floor pump then go back down to the first floor drop the key off and then go back to your 309 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:44,400 desk and then at the end of the day because there's a mini fridge in that room you go back down to 310 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:51,200 HR get the key go up to the fourth floor assuming nobody's there yes that could be their pumping schedule 311 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:55,920 like if they're there till 5 p.m. they might be pumping it when she leaves but then wait for them to 312 00:32:55,920 --> 00:33:02,160 leave so that she can go into the room get her stuff and then skid at all and then go pick up the 313 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:07,680 kid from daycare and it's all these different things which is like that is absolutely ridiculous 314 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:14,080 like the fact that you're thinking that that's acceptable is just nonsense and it's true 315 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:20,480 but it's that kind of thing that I think the pandemic allowed a lot of us to have the space to be like 316 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:28,880 why am I commuting 40 minutes each way why am I driving and taking the train for hours and hours 317 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:33,600 and wasting all this time that I could be spending with my family or my cats or my 318 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:42,000 whoever well I could just be at home because if I'm at home my accommodations are on me 319 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:48,240 like because that's currently what's happening with my day job my day job is I'm grading standardized 320 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:54,480 tests with things I have to listen to children ask answer the same two questions over and over and 321 00:33:54,480 --> 00:34:03,280 over again and they have two scheduled 15 minute breaks and a half hour lunch but ask me if I'm 322 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:09,200 sitting there at the rest of the time no because I self-accompanied and I'm like okay now I can work 323 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:18,720 out now I can do a tour now I can switch it up and I'm still out performing people yeah oh absolutely 324 00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:25,040 and I I agree I think you know even recently I had to go back to fully working from home 325 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:29,680 because I go into the office full time just because the nature of my job our office flooded 326 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:37,600 because of some like I stand situation or something on the roof so we were I was going in once a week 327 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:43,120 which is what I was doing from the pandemic but fucking sucked because I have to mail a 328 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:47,680 appeal so I had to like do all this math to figure out like the next time I'm gonna be in the office 329 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:53,200 if I could get everything filed ahead of time and just just fucking annoying anyway the boy being 330 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:58,640 though I was like there's still nothing better than like being like okay I'm hungry I'll go make lunch 331 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:04,880 now or okay it's like 4.30 although take some chicken out of the fridge even though I have another 332 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:10,080 half hour of work like just those little things also being able to be in my own bathroom and not a 333 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:17,840 public situation not that we pee in public but a public restroom just squatting and let push 334 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:22,560 us outside of here. What's your list there's the thing that like public employees in New York or 335 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:28,960 like just in a bucket or to like literally get so fucking frustrated about something that I'm 336 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:35,600 working on that I can literally just grab my cat and go we will lay down for we're gonna do a quick 337 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:43,200 seven. Absolutely I mean there were times where I took my lunch break was me taking a half hour now 338 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:49,360 because I can eat at my desk while I'm working that's not a big deal to me I can multitask that way 339 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:54,640 and in fact I think that that helps make me more effective because I'm keeping one of my hands busy 340 00:35:54,640 --> 00:36:02,240 and my mouth busy while my brain is busy fine and to have that option like I'm not gonna go sleep in my 341 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:11,440 car no way if I'm in the office I mean I also wouldn't do that if I was at my house but yeah like 342 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:17,520 just having that flexibility is just so nice and with this whole like nursing situation and pumping 343 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:25,040 Garrett has said like I don't want to hear another thing about not being able to recruit workers when 344 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:32,400 you refuse to give them a fully remote position when the job can be done fully remotely also she and 345 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:41,120 I don't know but like what if Garrett could be at home pumping comfortably or breastfeeding her infant 346 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:47,200 because now the infant doesn't have to do the daycare because she can kind of do both like 347 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:53,040 right exactly and that's why our union rep is like well that's your reasonable accommodation then 348 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:58,800 if they can't like guarantee that you can get to that room because the reality of of pumping is like 349 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:06,160 it's a bodily function so your your breast will be coming gorge you'll start leaking you will be 350 00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:13,840 in pain until you pump or feed your baby and so and that can be affected by your hormones of how much 351 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:18,560 you had to drink the day before how much the baby ate the day before how much the baby ate that morning 352 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:22,960 I mean it's like so many different things that can affect that but I was like that is and then 353 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:29,280 somebody was like either in HR or different union rep was like well potentially if you're the only 354 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:35,840 person who needs the pumping room we can give the key to your supervisor and I was like so that's 355 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:45,040 the same as asking your supervisor if you can go potty like if you consider what that really is but 356 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:53,600 because it's a female only experience or a fab only experience it is this like reg like super 357 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:58,160 hyper regulated like oh there's just one key and they're worried about the cost of making key 358 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:03,920 I'm sorry I just had two keys made at home depot for less than 10 bucks and like I 359 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:11,840 are used to believe that the public of your credit state that the entire state doesn't have a key 360 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:19,440 making machine somewhere in some fucking basement right where they make a copy of a key but not only that 361 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:25,680 we all have ideas that are like little swiper things that's the scanner on the door you'd think 362 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:29,360 and like it's like well it's privacy only one person can be in the room at the time she's like 363 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:39,120 privacy or not just get a room divider like what like also I can't speak to the other floors 364 00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:45,360 but to the extent that there's modest involved you've had like no less than 14 different people 365 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:52,000 inside your cooter when you gave birth so like at that point of another person who's nursing 366 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:58,960 seeing potentially the side of your boob is an exactly an issue right I don't want to talk to 367 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:05,360 anyone else who has a bow I don't want to speak for not I don't want to talk to breastfeeding 368 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:15,040 ladies but I don't want to talk to four people who have to breastfeed but I think that men have 369 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:22,560 way more of a panic about that foundation than we ever have because I remember being a child 370 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:32,400 sitting in rooms with my mom's best friend with my aunts with anybody and they were breastfeeding a baby 371 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:38,080 I understood the functioning of breastfeeding at a very young age because I was watching it all 372 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:43,760 the time and no one was like handling and bird your eyes are like oh my god someone cover up the boob 373 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:51,920 or the baby right exactly exactly and certainly so I also can't say that I've never 374 00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:59,280 at this point nursed or pumped but I can't imagine that if you're in a room with other people who are 375 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:06,080 also pumping that there's much to look at other than like oh do you like that model this one is 376 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:10,000 better for me because like you might have a conversation about the different type of pumping 377 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:15,920 machines you use but beyond that I just don't like unless really unless the baby is there there's 378 00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:24,560 nothing to talk about I I truly knew that like my time at nine to five living had to come to it 379 00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:34,240 or that I was like an MLM yeah that I was that I was done playing a nine to five game when it was 380 00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:41,520 my life on the line and my happiness and my joy at one time I had gone out to once come back to the 381 00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:49,680 parking lot for my office I was finishing a phone call with my best friend and I seized and my 382 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:57,040 period jump started again and I had period if the fact that it like didn't also just like day 383 00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:05,040 lose on to the car but I knew I was like I was like okay well 15 year old me would have been riddled 384 00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:12,160 with shame trying to like tie something around my waist or whatever 27 year old me would continue my 385 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:18,640 workday I go but 33 year old me is going to fuck home because I can do this shop from home I'm 386 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:27,200 gonna drive I'm gonna shower I'm gonna change my outfit and I will have my horrendous jump started 387 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:34,720 period at home for sure yeah I think again like that's that thing with aging where I'm like I'm 388 00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:41,120 just not going to put up with being uncomfortable if I don't need to be also I think the pandemic 389 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:48,640 made me realize the sensory stuff that comes along with how my brain works because I'm like so I'm 390 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:54,880 just gonna sit in what pants for the rest of the day and know that I'm miserable and portraying 391 00:41:54,880 --> 00:42:02,080 myself and at this point I don't want to torture myself anymore yeah for sure because all I would 392 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:06,000 be thinking about is like oh everybody can smell it I can smell it I'm definitely not even though 393 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:12,480 there's nothing probably there to deal with oh I'm I'm a math now every time I stand up I have to 394 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:20,880 consider like the the middle school like in a good and like like check behind me and you know 395 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:29,680 let's go I'll just go home and it was like my bus is third day because I had like that in a new boss 396 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:38,560 in the beginning of this job and I just texted him I was like I've had a female wardrobe malfunction 397 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:43,360 I'm going home to change and he's like well are you coming back and I go no because I live 40 minutes 398 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:50,320 away I'm not how is that reasonable for your time and for getting the most work out of me if I'm 399 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:56,640 spending 80 minutes in the car to change my pants well not only 80 minutes but 80 minutes plus the 400 00:42:56,640 --> 00:43:03,760 shower time because like let's be clear let's be clear that is not the good thing I'm taking that 401 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:13,440 handheld shower to myself like you just be like my god a massacre yeah and I think like when I 402 00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:20,160 watch women just being like no I will be considered and you just like watch the panic and that's 403 00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:26,320 what's eventually gonna happen with people from the 80s spectrum the autism spectrum where it's like 404 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:33,920 no I will be considered and this isn't a big deal totally and I've said that like since my boss made 405 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:39,040 that comment last year I've said something to him where he's like oh can't you remember and I was like 406 00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:47,440 no I have ADHD like you can see like he's just like quiet about it and I'm like well what now man 407 00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:52,960 because like if I need to get a doctor's note I will but like it's one of those things where you know 408 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:59,680 it's the struggle with it a lot of times I feel like especially for women comes from the fact that 409 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:06,560 hey and hardly think that it's like everyone else is ADHD and spectrum that's making someone go no 410 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:12,480 it's a big deal to accommodate you because somehow if I accommodate you I was wrong yesterday when 411 00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:20,640 I didn't accommodate you it's like not bro we can just move forward right I have great news I have 412 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:26,960 a table working memory so if you're just nice to me now I'm good well it's like well if I let you 413 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:32,400 work from home I have to let other people work from home okay say hi like I don't get it 414 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:41,360 save the money on rent then dude I don't know oh yeah they're so uppity about it they um are you 415 00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:49,040 gonna be started saying that uh maybe like 10 months or so into the pandemic they were like well 416 00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:56,080 you need to fill out this form and tell us what you're doing each day so that like and so as an attorney 417 00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:02,880 it's um we call it timekeeping but it's so I've worked her firms over your flat rate firms 418 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:08,800 we didn't build our clients like hourly so they didn't get a bill where oh Katie spent 419 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:14,560 point three hours on the phone with a closing counselor whatever um we didn't do that but when you 420 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:22,240 have to do timekeeping you still keep a time like a spreadsheet of all that shit you do and they 421 00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:27,760 started requiring that I was like this is bullshit for the most part I was in a different unit 422 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:33,360 that I am and now I had nothing to report I was sitting around the courts were closed nothing was 423 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:38,960 moving I'm sitting around writing on my fucking spreadsheet I'm waiting for a call for my supervisor 424 00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:43,600 what do you want me to put that I'm watching love is blind or tiger king for the second 425 00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:49,520 and it's all about the the nickel and dining like how do I make sure that you're earning your 426 00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:55,600 wage I don't know how are you making sure that you're paying me and actually making sure that I have 427 00:45:55,600 --> 00:46:03,040 work available to me like yeah oh totally and I mean I mean I need department where I definitely 428 00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:09,200 don't have that issue anymore but one of the things when one of the reasons that I was like I'm 429 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:14,240 absolutely coming back every day and not doing any hybrid schedule bullshit is because if you 430 00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:18,960 were in the office every day you didn't have to do the timekeeper thing and if you did if you worked 431 00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:24,480 anything hybrid if you worked at home at all you had to submit that timekeeper thing for every 432 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:28,720 single day you worked not just the ones that you were working from home and I was like this is 433 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:33,360 ridiculous I refuse to be babysat absolutely not I'll just come into the office like if it's that 434 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:38,640 fucking important to you weirdos all be in the office every day I don't care and then 435 00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:43,360 our building flooded and they freaked out as to like why I couldn't possibly work from home when they 436 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:50,480 are the ones that made it impossible for me to work from home I I was infuriated when I was working 437 00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:58,720 at hybrid schedule and I would be in an office doing nothing except for watching critical goal 438 00:46:58,720 --> 00:47:07,120 and being comforted by William O'Brien and I believe why I could be doing monitoring my cat could be 439 00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:13,840 looking at me I could be talking to my best friend but while I'm working on this like there are so 440 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:20,400 many benefits to my emotional and mental health also my productivity that you're just holding on 441 00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:27,760 to some like sick plane to my time yeah we kept getting these like bullshit newsletters every month 442 00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:32,720 that were like you know we're showing higher productivity with people who are working from home 443 00:47:32,720 --> 00:47:35,920 and then they're like make sure you're not letting your productivity slip and I was like could you 444 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:41,520 just take a while and please are we working more or less because when I work from home it's way 445 00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:52,160 easier for me to work past 5 p.m. because I'll focus and get that second wind at like 415 and I'll 446 00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:57,840 blow right past my clock out time and it's not like I'm I'm I'm salaried I can't charge them for that 447 00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:04,560 no so like what harm is it you're like effectively getting way more work for me I'm also not having 448 00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:14,000 to deal with talking with like about the banal bullshit with my coworkers who I can't be bothered 449 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:20,480 to really care about you know somehow I'm viewed as being less productive when I'm at home or I have 450 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:25,680 to prove that I'm actually productive and it's the kind of thing where I think it goes into that kind of 451 00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:32,400 80 hd um a little bit rejection sensitivity but definitely justice sensitivity where it's like 452 00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:36,240 if I haven't given you a reason to think that I'm not following the rules and stop thinking I'm not 453 00:48:36,240 --> 00:48:40,880 following the rules like I'll follow the rules I'm working what I'm supposed to work just like I did 454 00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:50,560 before and I think that like her the massage me comes in with a comedy 80 hd or comedy anything 455 00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:58,400 in the office or work from home or you know anything where it's like but then who's in control 456 00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:07,120 yes and and do we want women to have an easier time working and raising families because then 457 00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:14,160 who's in control then and like well what happens if they can make money and raise their kids yeah 458 00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:19,280 that's true and I mean there's also that thing of you know what happens if they can make money 459 00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:23,280 well what happens if they're actually producing more like you are you're outperforming your 460 00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:30,960 colleague so now I'm out producing my colleagues I want to raise the end the end you know it doesn't 461 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:36,160 matter where I'm working the point is I'm doing it like you think I have like an army of mice doing 462 00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:41,920 this for me like no it's me and that's the other thing I think there's like a bizarre distrust and I 463 00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:49,600 think it comes from more the history of paternalism that we have in the workplace that has become 464 00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:55,760 misogyny but it is that thing if I can't see you do it then I can't believe you did it and it's very much a 465 00:49:55,760 --> 00:50:02,880 like oh did you brush your teeth before bed let me smell your breath like I don't trust you 466 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:09,040 and it's like okay well yeah it's one thing to ask an eight year old who is notorious for you know 467 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:13,280 they went into the bathroom for 15 seconds and said they brush their teeth well yeah no it's 468 00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:23,360 reasonable to question that but you know when I'm winning 90% of my cases when I'm meeting every 469 00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:30,880 deadline and exceeding every deadline and I have no complaints like nobody's complaining about me 470 00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:38,160 like leave me alone and let me work like I'm just happy to be left alone well and then it's like 471 00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:46,720 an ego-striking thing too because I I've had a lot of employers who will watch my success and because 472 00:50:46,720 --> 00:50:52,560 they are in arm length away from my success be like look how well I did training Natalie to do that 473 00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:58,240 look at me let her soar and I think what we found out in the combinoids is that middle note 474 00:50:58,240 --> 00:51:07,760 managers are middle for reason and they don't wait and again I think a lot of people panic 475 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:16,880 I think a lot of those people were insecure not quite serve themselves middle managers who were 476 00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:22,720 put into middle management because their daddy played golf with someone else's daddy and 477 00:51:22,720 --> 00:51:28,720 and then it's like why can't I work from home if I can continuously show you that I'm doing a good 478 00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:34,560 job and it's like well because then what would I do I don't know well that's just it so the thing is 479 00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:41,120 those middle managers like let's be real they're all probably mid to late 40s or up right so 480 00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:50,000 all of those folks were put into that position by boomers who are like okay like thanks Johnson 481 00:51:50,000 --> 00:52:01,520 just finger guns everywhere yeah and they're putting that position and then suddenly at the 482 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:05,840 pandemic where they're like oh make sure you're checking in get on the bus get on zoom with your 483 00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:11,440 people have a conference call I mean I was having daily fucking conference calls daily conference calls 484 00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:20,480 with a manager who I my desk before the pandemic was literally outside his office door I got maybe 485 00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:26,320 six different assignments in the full year before the pandemic other than document review which 486 00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:31,680 let's be honest and intern today regardless we were having these daily conference calls and I was just like 487 00:52:31,680 --> 00:52:37,920 we're brodering Christ like what are we doing here but it's because they had to be able to say to the 488 00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:43,360 boomers that put them in that position this is what I did today to make sure my people are paying 489 00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:48,320 attention to getting their job but they never did that before because they were able to go into 490 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:56,560 work and be like hey marky and like move on I have a friend who's doing the same job as I am from her 491 00:52:56,560 --> 00:53:02,400 own home and she actually like recommended me for this testing job and we will just text one 492 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:07,280 another back and forth and you're like oh they must have been hit on during their leader meeting 493 00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:14,400 about this because everyone's getting a phone call about it cool cool everyone got a DM about this 494 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:19,200 today I think we're gonna have to have you and Garrett back so we can talk about massage and 495 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:24,160 eat within the medical community because I'm about to just start a second episode but we went with 496 00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:30,560 jobs instead Garrett has a lot to talk about that one then we will make sure that when I go back so 497 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:37,040 I can talk to you and Garrett at the same time that he's also get to come back yeah yeah we'll make 498 00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:41,440 sure that she's actually available I promise we'll make sure at least that she has power yes 499 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:47,600 but let's end the episode with our two little traditions before my dad just like bust down my 500 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:52,160 door and it's like I'm just standing out there for 45 minutes and I'm like I do you have a text on 501 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:59,440 your phone you're in D&D no I've been checking because I'm in D&D and so I've just been looking 502 00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:03,840 occasionally which is great for my age stage just be like I guess I'll make the phone light up 503 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:12,160 oh I know so we like to end every show with a lesson in the meanestestation so with being kind of 504 00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:18,240 I hate using the term late in life diagnosed because then it's like late in life pregnancy late in 505 00:54:18,240 --> 00:54:25,840 life marriage late in life I mean I have all of those things going for me at this point but um no it is 506 00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:32,320 statistically a late diagnosis in the sense that most um people who are diagnosed in child 507 00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:38,400 have our diagnosed before you age of 10 yes um and males are diagnosed at three times the rate of 508 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:46,400 female or a-fabs anyway um today which is way better than it used to be in the 90s when we were growing 509 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:52,160 up and going through school but um it's still you know with three to one odds of getting diagnosed 510 00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:57,520 and getting those interventions young so um yeah I don't have a problem with late diagnosis 511 00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:03,840 I'm gonna be a geriatric pregnancy by the time I end up having a kid anyway so 512 00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:10,400 with every patient it just feels so offensive well I know it's all my boyfriend on the oxygenarian 513 00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:16,400 I'm sorry for being myself as middle-aged and people do not like that because I'm 34 and I was like 514 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:20,960 I don't know though have you checked out climate change like I might be middle-aged 515 00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:28,080 that is dark but I'm here for it I might be old as hell can it like in conjunction with the 516 00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:35,680 climate yeah I mean let's we just live through a pandemic yeah and you know I have a medieval and 517 00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:43,440 pre-modern history major we are you know in the golden years but what what would you say is that 518 00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:50,160 is your like legacy lesson that you would like to pass on to people like hey kids this is what you 519 00:55:50,160 --> 00:56:00,480 should know what I would have liked to know most ten years ago is that um you are different 520 00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:12,080 but there's a reason for it and it's okay it doesn't make you less worthy less valid 521 00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:17,840 and it doesn't limit your ability to be as accomplished as you want to be 522 00:56:19,520 --> 00:56:26,160 yeah I think I would like tag on to that and be like instead of putting in all of this energy to 523 00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:34,560 maybe yourself believe that you deserve grace just do the grace thing to move on like I spend 524 00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:40,080 like I told you I loved meditation right up until I realized it was a coping mechanism and then 525 00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:45,040 I was like I hate it because now it's just something that's helping me instead of something I'm 526 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:53,520 joined things can be I have this like art date with a friend where we were just like scribbling 527 00:56:53,520 --> 00:57:00,800 up with oil pastels on the same poster board like parallel plane and I just remember telling him 528 00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:09,760 like I have a really hard time um actually recognizing what's relaxing and what's just something 529 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:16,400 that I'm doing to do a thing he was like what do you mean I go well I go for so long of my life 530 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:22,160 relaxing only happened when I was burned out so it involved watching 18 seasons of Mary 531 00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:28,560 that per site mm-hmm such a good show I love Mary that per site really got them on it whenever you want 532 00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:37,760 it's so good it's so bad so I was telling him that the only way I can actually be like I relax 533 00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:44,960 today is that one Saturday a month where my body refuses to move so I have to relax I go 534 00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:51,920 but doing this like doing art with you like I'm happy we're having great conversation I'm still using 535 00:57:51,920 --> 00:58:01,600 my creative brain so my brain is activated I go look would you classify this as relaxing so I would 536 00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:08,160 love to just like have people make that bridge where it's like it all get you get to have the grace 537 00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:15,920 to create what it is that works for you absolutely I think that's why I love our podcast so much is that 538 00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:23,760 it scratches that itch mm-hmm I can be weird I can funny I can be intellectual I can do whatever 539 00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:30,400 I want to be and so can get it and it allows us the space to do that in a really creative way 540 00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:38,320 so I haven't had to dig out my cross stitch box or start sewing face masks again or you know any 541 00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:45,120 other random thing because I have this to fill myself into and it's something that yes it's worth 542 00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:50,640 absolutely there are times when I'm like yep I forgot to make the post that I was supposed to make today 543 00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:59,840 but um there is so much satisfaction out of it and I think yeah I would agree I 544 00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:08,000 do I know that Garrett has on our show she's realized that the only way that she relaxes or what she 545 00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:13,440 deans or quote unquote relaxing activity is actually something that's productive it's cleaning it's 546 00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:18,080 you know doing stuff around the house and getting projects done and she said on the show she was like 547 00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:25,680 oh my god do I not know how to relax and it's that kind of thing where kind of have like we've both 548 00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:33,680 had various existential crisis on the show but um it is that thing where I think it's worth 549 00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:41,840 um allowing yourself like you said the space to just exist without having to earn the right to 550 00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:48,960 exist or even have to just like keep scrolling with yourself like I was really good today I was 551 00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:54,800 really lazy today or like I was a person who relaxed today like we're so hyped up about labels 552 00:59:54,800 --> 01:00:03,360 and calling things that I'm like not everything has to just be in the name of my mental like 553 01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:11,280 illness it can just be like it eased by depression but it wasn't about my depression to begin but 554 01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:18,080 and I think that when um well then will this come out for you when will this come out for me I feel 555 01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:26,800 like it's another summer one I can pull it up on the Google calendar that's okay so in um in may we 556 01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:32,800 just did two episodes about mine and Garrett's experiences with Diet culture on our case with 557 01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:42,080 dieting and we talked about that thing that we have both done in the past uh well I was really good 558 01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:51,920 today so I I'm allowed to not exercise or I exercise a lot so I can have a glass of wine and kind of 559 01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:59,040 like holding yourself hostage and um and that sort of thing but it taught to women especially 560 01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:07,200 in the context of dieting and in the context of disorder eating build to us as the way to deserve 561 01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:14,480 affection the way to deserve the right to take up space in the world yeah um so yeah what you said 562 01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:22,480 going fits into those episodes of our oh we talk like I'm exhausted about talking about like my 563 01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:27,840 relationship with food and how it some days it's good some days it's bad sometimes I think about it 564 01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:33,920 all day some days I don't think about it all some days foods disgusting and like why would I ever eat 565 01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:41,680 something oh for sure my hyper fixation meals oh they're amazing until they're not and then I would 566 01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:48,560 all just starve until I am hungry enough to find something else to eat but what would be something 567 01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:56,000 that you hope for for the general collective energy in our future when it comes to ADHD diagnosis 568 01:01:56,000 --> 01:02:07,200 massage in the fall of the above I think that there's plenty of space for everybody 569 01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:14,720 mm-hmm I don't I hope that whoever's listening doesn't feel like if they don't have a label for what 570 01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:20,640 they're feeling that that doesn't matter so that's what I'd like to put out to the world I love that 571 01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:28,400 I think finding the PlayStation is going to come from my lord and savior currently Taylor Swift 572 01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:32,400 and I'm just hoping that all you really made me nervous with that lord 573 01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:37,520 no it's usually cash a lady Gaga or Taylor Swift 574 01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:41,040 or Tony Collette oh 575 01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:45,360 no Jesus Bible bells I don't know 576 01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:53,760 uh-uh Jesus Christ and I had a breakup right before I went right when I got into college and I was like 577 01:02:53,760 --> 01:03:01,840 it just doesn't make sense for me my lord and savior Taylor Swift has told us time and time again 578 01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:07,040 that for everyone who thinks account not accountability oh my god accommodations and 579 01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:13,200 accommodating people meeting people where they're at and being empathetic as fuck and just allowing 580 01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:19,680 people to actually thrive with whatever's going on in their body is super hard and will steal joy 581 01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:26,080 from them or time or money or whatever Taylor Swift says you need to calm down you're being too loud 582 01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:34,080 why be mad when you could be glad and that's my manifestation I hope that people calm down 583 01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:38,640 I hope they stop being too loud and I hope they get glad 584 01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:47,200 and not happy and not happy and I hope that everyone if you didn't get errors tickets you at least got 585 01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:56,240 to watch it on TikTok that's a solid manifestation yeah okay tell everyone where they can find 586 01:03:56,240 --> 01:04:02,320 the bar is ankle high so we are on all podcast platforms you can just search our name 587 01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:07,680 the bar is ankle high we're also on youtube with you the subtitles um it's just a static image 588 01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:14,400 we don't do like a video podcast or anything but um you have that available if you need that I don't 589 01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:22,400 go through and like edit the subtitles it's just what I do so like it may not be it'll be perfect 590 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:31,600 but it's close enough I guess um anyway uh so we're all on all podcasting platforms and our we are 591 01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:40,720 most active on instagram and our handle is at the bar is ankle high or you can go to um bit.ly/incohighmerch 592 01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:46,000 if you want to check out our merch which would link you back to our website or just go to the bar is 593 01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:54,800 anklehigh.com which has all of that information and our bios um all that stuff and listen links 594 01:04:54,800 --> 01:05:00,320 most importantly if you're struggling to find us but I love our Instagram I run the Instagram 595 01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:06,000 I'm super active on it I love getting messages from people occasionally I'll fight with some people 596 01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:10,720 on other posts who are claiming to cure different hormonal conditions or 597 01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:14,720 I think that essential oils can cure disease. Yeah um 598 01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:21,200 they need to know that was the episode as we're as we're recording this the episode that released 599 01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:27,600 this week was about our part one on essential oils and part two we'll talk about essential oils 600 01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:35,600 and ADHD and uh all that bullshit I'd love to have some lavender knowing that it's not doing 601 01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:40,400 anything for me but like what if I just do it not true it actually does do stuff for you with 602 01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:46,080 you smell it so it it interacts with your all factory nerves and triggers a reaction in your 603 01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:52,800 mid-dala which is the motion center of your brain but don't eat them no don't eat them don't eat them 604 01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:59,520 also be here's my PSA like I'm Bob Barker also be careful if you have essential oils in your house 605 01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:06,000 and you have pets because they're very toxic to pets even sometimes the vapor yes yeah yeah so 606 01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:14,560 definitely check with that and um you know MLMs are dangerous anyway right but we do have so by the 607 01:06:14,560 --> 01:06:20,960 time this comes out we'll have had two episodes 36 and 37 on essential oils so if you are curious 608 01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:26,720 about essential oils or worried you can go listen to those and um we have some solid tips from like 609 01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:31,440 Johns Hopkins and like reputable superstitions how to find an aroma therapist who isn't gonna like point 610 01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:39,440 in you and then I think that this episode is coming out after Ellen's episode so I'll make this 611 01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:45,040 plug again if you're a person listening to the podcast and you have ended a toxic relationship or 612 01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:51,360 ended a relationship that was just boring and not serving you a la Taylor Swift and that Joe dude 613 01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:58,320 in Europe or you told off your boss or some other vassadiness or you were in a position where you 614 01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:02,960 stood up for yourself and then looked around and you realized that no one was there to back you up 615 01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:09,200 please do you own me because this episode is coming out August 3rd that means it's been two months 616 01:07:09,200 --> 01:07:14,240 since I've been at the airstomster but I bet you guys still have friendship bracelets and I'll send you 617 01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:19,120 one remember teller readers you don't have to smile through anything you're tolerating including endless 618 01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:26,400 meetings with a boss who's so insecure with themselves and their lives work but they want to know 619 01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:31,200 minute by minute what the fuck you're doing while you're working at home and they definitely don't 620 01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:39,040 want to hear thriving or relaxing. Files are pretty light. 621 01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:41,120 oh 622 01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:43,120 oh 623 01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:45,120 oh 624 01:07:45,120 --> 01:07:47,120 oh 625 01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:49,120 oh 626 01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:52,960 [Music]