Episode 97: PNW Cryptid Dating Game!

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,360
If you're a frequent PNW Haunts and Homicide listener, you probably already know where

2
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,040
birdie ambassadors.

3
00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:13,200
We wanted to take a quick moment to tell you a little bit more about this awesome product.

4
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:17,240
Birdie is the modern, personal safety alarm made for women by women.

5
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:22,520
In a situation where you feel threatened or unsafe, you can simply activate birdie's

6
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:27,200
loud siren and flashing light to create a diversion.

7
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:32,280
Birdie is perfect to carry any time because the device is lightweight and comes in a variety

8
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:33,560
of colors.

9
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:34,560
So important.

10
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:41,600
Use our Ambassador link and coupon code, PNWHAUNTSANDHOMICIDES, to receive 10% off your

11
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,000
purchase.

12
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,880
Like our social media handles, the coupon code is all spelled out no special characters.

13
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:52,840
You can find the link and promo code in our show notes or PNW Haunts and Homicides link

14
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:53,840
tree.

15
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:54,840
Have a safe ass day!

16
00:00:54,840 --> 00:01:05,160
As indie podcasters, we love to show our support of other awesome shows.

17
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:09,040
So stay tuned for the promo we've got to share with you this week.

18
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:14,200
Let's show them some love you can find their info in our show notes.

19
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:19,400
I can't possibly tell you all the crazy things that happen in the new True Crime podcast

20
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,360
that in the water in 30 seconds.

21
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:26,140
But what I can tell you is that it's about a well to do Australian woman who met and fell

22
00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:31,160
in love with a mysterious man who had a beautiful yacht and planned to marry him and spend the

23
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,960
rest of their days sailing around the world together.

24
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:39,000
What actually happened was serial infidelity, loss of more than a million dollars and attempted

25
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,000
murder.

26
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,960
The series is narrated by Tony Dalton of AMC's Better Call Saul.

27
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:49,080
You can find dead in the water by going to deadinthewaterpodcast.com or just search dead in the water

28
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,080
from Voyage Media.

29
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:54,040
Anyway, listen to podcasts.

30
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,400
You guys were back.

31
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,800
And don't worry, we did get more wine.

32
00:01:58,800 --> 00:01:59,600
Well, of course.

33
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:09,600
[MUSIC]

34
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:19,600
[MUSIC]

35
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:29,600
[MUSIC]

36
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:39,600
[MUSIC]

37
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:43,600
[MUSIC]

38
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,600
Hi, Caitlyn.

39
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,600
Hi, Cassie.

40
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,600
Hi, creepy people.

41
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,840
It's me and Caitlyn.

42
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,600
But also me, I'm back.

43
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:55,600
Yay.

44
00:02:55,600 --> 00:03:00,680
I have an episode for you guys because Caitlyn just tried to hog up two episodes.

45
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,680
Yeah.

46
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:02,680
Yeah.

47
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:07,320
We all know how we feel about Caitlyn's episodes.

48
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,280
It's some real Leo energy up in here.

49
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,280
No, we love her.

50
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:17,880
She does good work, but it's time for a break because, oh, this is PNW Haunts and Homicides.

51
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:18,880
Oh, shit, yeah.

52
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,880
Sorry, guys.

53
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:20,880
[MUSIC]

54
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:25,600
In case you didn't know, PNW stands for Pacific Northwest.

55
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:30,680
So we primarily cover cases based in the Pacific Northwest.

56
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:31,680
Yeah.

57
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,680
In case you didn't know.

58
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,920
Now you know.

59
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:35,920
Now you know.

60
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:36,920
The more you know.

61
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,640
But it's time for a little fun.

62
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,200
Because it's Valentine's Day.

63
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,200
[MUSIC]

64
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,200
[MUSIC]

65
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:47,280
Even if you don't celebrate it, I think you're going to really enjoy this episode.

66
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:51,080
It is a little theme-y, but it's fun.

67
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,080
I'm on board.

68
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,360
She was so on board.

69
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,360
She was on board as soon.

70
00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:01,520
The moment I mentioned it, she was like, yes, doing it.

71
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:05,080
I really, really, really got on board.

72
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,080
She did.

73
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,520
She had all these crazy ideas that just weren't going to work out.

74
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:14,600
That's maybe next time I play life.

75
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:18,280
She lit the fire under my butt and I wouldn't did a thing.

76
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,160
So we're going to have some fun today.

77
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,920
This is all make-believe.

78
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,360
This is all fun and games.

79
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:25,840
This isn't real.

80
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,400
Just so everyone's clear.

81
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,200
>> It's real.

82
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:33,360
>> And I'll probably say it again later on when you'll know what I'm talking about.

83
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,280
>> You do.

84
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,040
It's real.

85
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,040
>> I wouldn't say that.

86
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,720
[LAUGH]

87
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:41,640
So today we're going to play a little game.

88
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,400
We're going to play a little dating game.

89
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,080
Like, okay, a dating game.

90
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,200
>> Not like a-

91
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,680
>> Would you like to play a game?

92
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,840
>> No, not like a saw game.

93
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:54,040
It's not a scary episode.

94
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,680
>> Okay.

95
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,080
>> But we are going to play a little dating game.

96
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,800
Unfortunately, we didn't really know any single people.

97
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,800
So we're just going to sub in Caitlyn.

98
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:03,480
>> Okay.

99
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,760
>> Disclaimer.

100
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:08,160
Caitlyn is not single.

101
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,000
>> [LAUGH]

102
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,640
>> Like at all, period.

103
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:11,920
End of story.

104
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,360
We're just having fun.

105
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,440
So please, no one's sliding to her DMs.

106
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:17,400
>> [LAUGH]

107
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,520
>> And Chris, don't hate me.

108
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,120
>> [LAUGH]

109
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:21,640
>> Look at that.

110
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,680
She's super protective of me.

111
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,600
>> Just looking out, you know?

112
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:29,600
I don't want anyone to get too excited that you're on the market.

113
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,000
>> Yeah.

114
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:35,960
I'm sure they're clamoring at all of the places.

115
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:40,200
>> We had some people clamoring.

116
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:40,840
>> Oh boy.

117
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,480
>> Yeah. >> Wait, this is news to me.

118
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,880
>> I don't know if I'll call them people, but we'll get into it.

119
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:45,920
>> Oh boy.

120
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:46,880
Okay.

121
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:51,640
So we're not just going to play any boring old dating game that you've seen before.

122
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:56,960
We're going to play a PNW cryptid dating game.

123
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,880
>> Yeah.

124
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,000
Don't act surprised, you already knew.

125
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:07,080
>> Well, I was a little bit unsure as to whether or not it was going to happen.

126
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,080
>> It's happening, baby.

127
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,640
>> Happy Valentine's Day.

128
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,480
>> [LAUGH]

129
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,920
>> I'm just stealing my life.

130
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:14,920
>> You're going to get so fun.

131
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,120
>> I'm getting so happy at the end, I promise.

132
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:20,080
>> Well, I shouldn't say you're getting a happy ending.

133
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,600
That might sound wrong, but anyway.

134
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,800
[LAUGH]

135
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:28,960
So the definition of cryptid in case anyone doesn't know is an animal,

136
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:33,640
such as Sasquatch or the Loch Ness monster that has been claimed to exist,

137
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,160
but never proven to exist.

138
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:36,960
>> Okay.

139
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:37,480
>> Okay.

140
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,440
So just so we're all clear what the definition of cryptid is.

141
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,720
Just keep that rattling around back there.

142
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:45,400
>> Mm-hm.

143
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,560
[MUSIC]

144
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:53,240
>> Welcome to PNW cryptid dating game, Caitlyn, come on down.

145
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:59,920
[MUSIC]

146
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,600
>> How was that for my game announcer voice?

147
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:03,760
>> I love it.

148
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:08,080
>> You're channeling some Bob Barker.

149
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:08,960
>> Something.

150
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,520
>> Caitlyn's something, I will not do that the whole time I promised, but

151
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,400
maybe one more time.

152
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:21,240
Caitlyn is a fun, sassy, sexy single looking for her perfect cryptid match.

153
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,120
>> Ooh.

154
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,640
>> Okay, that I'm done.

155
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,720
That was it.

156
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,120
>> I liked it.

157
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:31,640
>> So I'm not going to tell Caitlyn or anyone who the elusive bachelors are.

158
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:36,680
So we're going to have three rounds and we will get to know our four elusive bachelors.

159
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:37,720
>> Ooh.

160
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,920
>> Let me tell you, tracking these guys down for questioning was not easy.

161
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,800
But once I started a float, Caitlyn's photo around, I had them.

162
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,720
[LAUGH]

163
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,400
>> It's the one on the fridge, you know what I'm talking about.

164
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,560
>> I was going to say how old is this photo?

165
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,560
[LAUGH]

166
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:59,920
>> And at the end, Caitlyn will pick which one she thinks would fit her best.

167
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,000
>> Who am I curious?

168
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,160
>> Yeah, who are cryptid mans?

169
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,920
>> Match man's is.

170
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,960
[LAUGH]

171
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,520
>> Again, this is all make believe.

172
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,040
Okay.

173
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,160
>> I mean, it's real.

174
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,880
>> You're going to have a cryptid in your bed, watch out, Chris.

175
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,920
[LAUGH]

176
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:27,760
>> So we'll still do the tarot read at the end and it will be for whoever she picks what his intentions are with her.

177
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:28,960
>> With my daughter.

178
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,240
>> With my daughter.

179
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,600
With my adult daughter.

180
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,760
>> So that's how we'll do that.

181
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,880
>> Okay, so I get a little bit of a reading on this love man.

182
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,160
>> Yeah, exactly.

183
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:41,240
>> Okay. >> Are you excited?

184
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,040
>> I'm so excited.

185
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:42,520
>> I'm so excited.

186
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:43,440
>> Okay.

187
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,000
>> Round one.

188
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:45,720
Here we go.

189
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,800
[MUSIC]

190
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:54,200
>> Each bachelor answered seven identical questions and one random question to keep things interesting.

191
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,480
>> Ooh.

192
00:08:55,480 --> 00:09:03,080
>> All of the questions and things I'm going to talk about in the rounds are all clues to who these cryptids might be.

193
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,240
>> That makes sense.

194
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,080
>> Okay.

195
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,280
>> Okay.

196
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:10,360
>> So bachelor number one, first question.

197
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,520
What is your biggest insecurity?

198
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:16,640
And he says kissing can be quite a challenge.

199
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,280
>> Oh.

200
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:17,800
>> Okay.

201
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:18,800
>> Yeah.

202
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,560
>> Not really sure what that means, but me either.

203
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,680
>> Take that how you want.

204
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:23,560
>> Okay.

205
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:26,320
>> Question number two, what is your favorite color?

206
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,160
And he says black, which I say same.

207
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:29,760
>> Okay.

208
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:30,720
>> Yeah. >> I say same.

209
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:31,480
>> A landable.

210
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:37,800
>> I just have this debate with somebody the other day because they were asking me my favorite color and I couldn't pick.

211
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,920
So I just say black because that's like all the colors together, right?

212
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,040
>> Oh, that's very true.

213
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:44,560
>> Yeah.

214
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:44,880
>> Okay.

215
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,640
>> That's a thinker.

216
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,320
>> Maybe we have something in common.

217
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,880
Maybe I should be on the stating again.

218
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,960
>> I know.

219
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,800
>> Come on.

220
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,960
>> Question number three, what is your biggest fear?

221
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,880
He says fire.

222
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:57,360
>> Okay.

223
00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,080
>> Ooh.

224
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:58,800
>> Okay.

225
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:02,840
>> I mean, I'm not sure that we're compatible then in that way.

226
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:03,680
>> That's true.

227
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:04,480
>> That's true.

228
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,480
>> Okay.

229
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,160
>> The fourth question's a fun one.

230
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:10,040
What is your favorite sexual position?

231
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,640
>> Who says missionary?

232
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:13,280
>> Okay.

233
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:13,960
>> Okay.

234
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:14,720
>> Love vanilla.

235
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,160
>> Love vanilla, but that's okay.

236
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,160
>> Yeah.

237
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:17,320
>> All right.

238
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,000
>> You do you.

239
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,240
Question number five, what is your ideal date?

240
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,800
He says abafe.

241
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:30,000
It's the easiest way to keep him a cheap date because he has a rather large appetite.

242
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,400
>> Okay.

243
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,240
>> So does that mean he assumes that you're paying?

244
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,200
>> I maybe.

245
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,480
It sounds like that's a possibility.

246
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,400
>> It's calling himself a cheap date.

247
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:42,400
>> Yeah.

248
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,400
>> Uh-huh.

249
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,520
>> Listen, call yourself whatever you want.

250
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,000
Don't call me a cheap date.

251
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000
>> Yeah.

252
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:52,440
>> How do you feel about the phase?

253
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,160
>> Yeah.

254
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:59,880
I mean, I feel like I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on, I mean, how much time do we have?

255
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:00,880
Probably not that much.

256
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:01,880
>> Not that much.

257
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:02,880
>> Okay.

258
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:03,880
>> Okay.

259
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:04,880
>> I'm surprised you're not taking notes on these guys.

260
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,880
>> Well, I thought about it, but then I was like, is that cheating?

261
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,200
>> I don't think it's cheating.

262
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,200
>> Okay.

263
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,520
>> I mean, if you really want to.

264
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:12,920
>> I mean, I'm going to.

265
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:13,920
>> She's taking notes.

266
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:14,920
>> Oh, no.

267
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:15,920
>> I don't want to fight.

268
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:16,920
Where's the notebook?

269
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:17,920
>> Okay.

270
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:18,920
>> Hold on.

271
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:19,920
>> Continue.

272
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:25,000
Question number six, what is your best quality?

273
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,520
Oh, you might like this one, Caitlyn.

274
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,360
He says, protective like a bodyguard.

275
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:30,360
>> Okay.

276
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,360
Okay.

277
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:32,360
So that sounds pretty good.

278
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,120
That might make up for some other things.

279
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:39,040
>> I mean, it would have to.

280
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,360
It would have to.

281
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,360
>> Okay.

282
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:45,520
Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?

283
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:46,600
>> Ooh.

284
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,320
>> He says, oversized fluffy sweaters.

285
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:53,720
>> Oh, but it's so pure.

286
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,720
>> Okay.

287
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,720
>> All right.

288
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,520
>> And question number eight is kind of the rotating random question.

289
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,760
It is, what is your favorite scent?

290
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,760
And he says, burnt trees.

291
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:05,760
>> Huh.

292
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,560
>> Do you have any guesses on who this is?

293
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:10,560
>> No.

294
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:11,560
No, I don't.

295
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,560
Actually.

296
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:13,560
>> I didn't think so.

297
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:14,560
>> All right.

298
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:18,080
Are you ready for Bachelor number two?

299
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,080
>> Yes.

300
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:20,080
>> I think.

301
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:21,080
>> You are.

302
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,080
>> Okay.

303
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:26,280
Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity?

304
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,880
Bachelor number two says that people think he's a myth.

305
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:30,880
>> Okay.

306
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:38,360
>> I'm sure that's pretty common amongst the cryptid society, you know?

307
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:39,360
>> Yeah.

308
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,360
>> Okay.

309
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,200
>> Question number two, what is your favorite color?

310
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,880
She says anything shiny.

311
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:46,880
>> Okay.

312
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:47,880
>> I mean, same.

313
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:48,880
>> Who does he think he is?

314
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:49,880
The crab from Moana.

315
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:50,880
>> Shiny.

316
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:51,880
>> Shiny.

317
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:57,720
>> Question number three, what is your biggest fear?

318
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,320
And he says salt.

319
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,320
>> Salt.

320
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:01,320
>> Okay.

321
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,520
>> Which, that's kind of interesting.

322
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:05,520
>> Huh.

323
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:06,520
>> Okay.

324
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,520
>> Huh.

325
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,520
>> Huh.

326
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:09,520
>> Huh.

327
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:10,520
>> Huh.

328
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:11,520
>> Huh.

329
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:12,520
>> Number four, the good question.

330
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,800
>> What is your favorite sexual position?

331
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:22,120
He says the submarine, which I don't encourage anyone to Google.

332
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,360
Question number five, what is your ideal date?

333
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,360
He says a day on the lake.

334
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,360
>> Uh-huh.

335
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,360
>> Yeah.

336
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:30,360
>> Sweet.

337
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,360
>> Okay.

338
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:36,000
>> Are there submarines in this lake?

339
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,760
>> You know, here's the thing.

340
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,040
This guy's clearly got a thing with water.

341
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,040
>> Clearly.

342
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,040
>> Okay.

343
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:45,240
>> Question number six, what is your best quality?

344
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,120
He says, I'm a strong swimmer.

345
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,120
>> Uh-huh.

346
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,120
>> Yeah.

347
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,120
>> Okay.

348
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,120
>> All right.

349
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,560
>> So I think you nailed the water, the water part.

350
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:55,560
>> Yeah.

351
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:59,720
>> Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?

352
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,560
He says small animals.

353
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:02,560
>> Oh.

354
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:05,840
>> See, he's got some good qualities.

355
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,760
>> But I feel like I want to know why.

356
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,480
>> Well, he goes on to say they feel so good.

357
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:17,920
They smell so good and they, okay, well, things get weird here and I think we're just going

358
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,240
to smell it on.

359
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,240
>> That's what I thought.

360
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,240
>> Okay.

361
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,240
>> The small animals.

362
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:23,240
Okay.

363
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,600
Question number eight, what is your biggest pet peeve?

364
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:30,540
He says when someone is immortalized for no reason and has nothing of value to offer

365
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:33,120
in return, wow.

366
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,160
I feel like we hit a nerve.

367
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,160
>> Okay.

368
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,160
>> Yeah.

369
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,160
>> Someone is sensitive.

370
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,960
>> Yeah, that's a real, um.

371
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,200
>> How do I put this nicely?

372
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,480
Oh, wait, I don't care.

373
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,680
That's a real in-sell vibe.

374
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:47,680
>> Yeah.

375
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:48,680
>> I feel like.

376
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:49,680
>> Interesting.

377
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,680
>> Yeah.

378
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:51,680
Okay.

379
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,200
>> Are you ready to move on to Bachelor number three?

380
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:57,440
>> I mean, we probably should.

381
00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,480
>> Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity?

382
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:04,440
He says people often mistake him for someone else.

383
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:05,440
>> Oh.

384
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:10,560
>> Well, you know what happens to the best of us?

385
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,800
Question number two, what is your favorite color?

386
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:13,880
He says blue.

387
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:14,880
>> Okay.

388
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:15,880
>> Oh, like that.

389
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,200
>> Oh, like blue.

390
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,200
>> What's your favorite color, Caitlyn?

391
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,680
>> I think probably gray or black.

392
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:23,680
>> Okay.

393
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:24,680
>> Or rose gold.

394
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:25,680
>> Yeah.

395
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:26,680
>> Or rose gold.

396
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:27,680
>> See, it's hard to choose.

397
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:28,680
>> Yeah.

398
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:29,680
I can't choose.

399
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,840
>> I don't know.

400
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,880
Question number three, what is your biggest fear?

401
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,160
He says bright lights and crowds.

402
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:37,160
>> I mean, same.

403
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,160
>> And I say preach.

404
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,160
>> Same.

405
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,640
>> Question number four, what is your favorite sexual position?

406
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,160
Are we ready for this one?

407
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,640
>> I mean, probably not, but let's do it.

408
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:50,240
>> He says anything on the inversion table, baby.

409
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,120
>> I don't really know what to put in my notes here.

410
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,280
>> He likes to be upside down.

411
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,280
>> Okay.

412
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,640
>> So, I don't think that that's that kinky.

413
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,640
That's no submarine.

414
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,640
>> Let me tell you.

415
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:03,640
>> That's not a kink.

416
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,640
>> That's great.

417
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:05,640
>> That's great.

418
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,640
>> Against humanity.

419
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:08,640
>> Yeah.

420
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,920
>> Question number five, what is your ideal date?

421
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,920
He says flying out of town for dinner.

422
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:15,920
>> Okay.

423
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:16,920
>> Okay, Christian Grey.

424
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:17,920
>> Right.

425
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:22,240
>> Maybe he has a little kinking.

426
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,600
>> Question number six, what is your best quality?

427
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,520
He says his eyes.

428
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,000
They're big and bright.

429
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,200
You could even say they glow.

430
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,200
>> Okay.

431
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,200
Interesting.

432
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,200
>> Interesting.

433
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,880
>> Sounds nice though.

434
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,440
Big bright glowing eyes.

435
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,800
>> You could be quite striking.

436
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,520
The way you say that, I feel like that's pointed.

437
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:50,080
>> I'm not saying it any, I have no biased towards any of these bachelors.

438
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,080
>> Uh-huh.

439
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,080
>> Okay.

440
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,080
>> I'm just reading their questions.

441
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,080
>> Okay.

442
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,080
>> They answered them.

443
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,000
They made them up, not me.

444
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:04,640
Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?

445
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,280
He said some rad 80s vibes.

446
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,280
>> I like this guy.

447
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,280
>> Okay.

448
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,280
>> Well, I'm a little biased.

449
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,280
>> I'm a little biased.

450
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,280
>> I'm a little biased.

451
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,280
>> I'm a little biased.

452
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,280
>> Yeah, maybe I can get his number if you don't pick him.

453
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,840
>> Okay.

454
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,840
Question number eight, are you a knight owl or an early bird?

455
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:22,840
>> Hmm.

456
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:23,840
>> He says neither.

457
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,880
But I do prefer the knight.

458
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,640
>> Okay, so.

459
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,640
[laughs]

460
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:38,400
>> So like tell me you don't know how to answer questions without telling me.

461
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,160
>> I mean, maybe there's something in there.

462
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,600
Maybe it's some sort of clue.

463
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:46,600
>> Yeah, that's what I gather, but I gathered very little.

464
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:47,840
>> I don't know.

465
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,560
>> Let's move on to Bachelor number four.

466
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,120
Our final bachelors.

467
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,360
Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity?

468
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,360
He says nothing.

469
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:57,360
>> Okay.

470
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,360
>> I see you.

471
00:17:58,360 --> 00:17:59,920
>> We're off to an interesting start.

472
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:00,920
>> Okay.

473
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:01,920
>> All right.

474
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,520
Question number two, what is your favorite color?

475
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:04,520
He says orange.

476
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,320
>> It's a nice color.

477
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,320
I like orange.

478
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,640
>> I'm getting a real fuck boy vibe here.

479
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,560
Question number three, what is your biggest fear?

480
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,880
He says becoming irrelevant.

481
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:17,880
>> Okay.

482
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:18,880
>> Yeah.

483
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,880
>> I stand by my previous statement.

484
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,200
>> Ready for question number four.

485
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,200
>> I mean, sure.

486
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,240
>> What is your favorite sexual position?

487
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,240
He says cowgirl.

488
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,240
>> Uh-huh.

489
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,240
>> Yeah.

490
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,240
>> Called that one.

491
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,240
>> Okay.

492
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,680
Question number five, what is your ideal date?

493
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,040
He says something adventurous like white water rafting.

494
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,040
Huh.

495
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,040
Okay.

496
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,760
Question number six, what is your best quality?

497
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,600
He says there's a beer named after me.

498
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,000
I don't know if that's your quality, bro.

499
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000
But okay.

500
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000
>> Okay.

501
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000
>> Okay.

502
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:59,040
Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?

503
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,280
He says ultra long scarves.

504
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:02,280
>> Okay.

505
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:03,280
>> Okay.

506
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:04,280
>> Okay.

507
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:11,040
>> Listen, I'm really trying to take detailed notes.

508
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:16,000
>> This is, I mean, there's a lot of clues.

509
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:21,360
>> Honestly, this feels like higher stakes than even our last election.

510
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,360
>> It might be.

511
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,360
>> Yeah.

512
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,360
>> This is a very important choice.

513
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,360
Ready for the last question?

514
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,360
>> Okay.

515
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:34,320
>> If asked on a date to a wedding, do you choose the chicken or the fish?

516
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,120
He says fish all day.

517
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:37,520
>> Oh, man.

518
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:38,520
Okay.

519
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:43,560
I'm surprised he didn't say fish, foe show.

520
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:44,560
>> Okay.

521
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,560
>> Okay.

522
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:49,200
So we've reached round number two.

523
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,200
>> Okay.

524
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,680
>> So we're going to get to know a little bit about each of our four bachelors from the

525
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,960
perspective of someone who has been close to them.

526
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,200
Bachelor number one.

527
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,160
You ready?

528
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:08,160
I had a very, very lovely talk with bachelor number one's mom.

529
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:12,880
She couldn't figure out how to use the email, so she had me talk to her on the phone and

530
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,000
just like relay the message.

531
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:21,360
So she says, my boo boo has an explosive personality.

532
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:26,760
>> It's just funny because we were talking about boo boo earlier.

533
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,680
You don't even know bachelor number one's mom.

534
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:30,680
So.

535
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,680
>> That's correct.

536
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:32,680
I do not.

537
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,160
>> The boo boo theme is just natural.

538
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,160
Okay.

539
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,680
She goes on to say, he's going to hate me that I called him boo boo in front of everybody,

540
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,480
especially a pretty woman like Caitlyn.

541
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:43,800
>> Uh-oh.

542
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:48,640
>> Anyway, I think he could really use a lady in his life.

543
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:54,080
I always try to get him to stand up of the moisturizing, but he just doesn't seem to listen

544
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,880
to me.

545
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:57,880
She rambled.

546
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,720
Y'all, let me tell you.

547
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:04,560
She goes on to say, I think if he had a nice lady around to help him lotion his hard

548
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:09,600
to reach areas, you know, I think he would just be a little bit happier.

549
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:10,600
Okay.

550
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,600
>> Okay.

551
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,840
So he's got some dry skin issues or something.

552
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,640
Okay.

553
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:21,560
And of course to help him keep up with trimming those unruly eyebrows.

554
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,240
Call your mother, boo boo.

555
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,440
>> Oh boy.

556
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:27,440
>> Interesting.

557
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:31,240
I don't think that helps bachelor number one's chances at all.

558
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,240
>> You know?

559
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,720
>> No, not really.

560
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,440
>> But if you want his mom's number, she's so nice.

561
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:37,440
>> Yeah.

562
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,480
>> Bachelor number two.

563
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,480
This is from his ex girlfriend.

564
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:44,640
She DMed us.

565
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:45,640
>> Oh.

566
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,920
So she said, "Augie was sweet, but it just didn't work out."

567
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,160
He had this weird obsession with the Loch Ness Monster.

568
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,360
It was like he was jealous that Nessie got more attention.

569
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,360
Okay.

570
00:21:56,360 --> 00:22:02,400
So now I feel like the nerve that we poked earlier might be a little more sense.

571
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,720
>> Yeah.

572
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:08,840
>> She said Nessie had more books, movies, news stories, podcast episodes, and merch.

573
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,520
So much merch.

574
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,080
Plus there was that incident with my Chihuahua.

575
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,080
>> Okay.

576
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:18,080
Interesting.

577
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,080
>> What happened here?

578
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,080
>> Not a dog.

579
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,080
>> Not a dog per se?

580
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,080
>> I don't know.

581
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:26,080
He really liked the small animals.

582
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:31,080
>> Like probably as a snack, like a little appetizer?

583
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,080
>> I don't know.

584
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,080
>> I guess we'll find out.

585
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:36,080
Okay.

586
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,080
Bachelor number three.

587
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:43,080
Sadly, Bachelor number three doesn't have any close friends or family.

588
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,080
So there was no one to reach out to.

589
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,080
>> Great.

590
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,080
>> That's sort of a clue on his personality as well.

591
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:54,080
So, Bachelor number four, your favorite.

592
00:22:54,080 --> 00:23:00,080
This came via text message from his childhood best friend.

593
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:05,080
I'm going to read the text messages as they came in.

594
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,080
They were all separate.

595
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,080
There's typos.

596
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,080
>> Oh great.

597
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,080
>> Perfect.

598
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:14,080
>> Off to a great start.

599
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:19,080
The first text, CC was my BFF growing up the up arrow.

600
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,080
>> Oh great.

601
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,080
Okay.

602
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,080
Next, we use two.

603
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,080
The number two.

604
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:29,080
Hang out Al he tim.

605
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,080
Which, oh, okay.

606
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,080
He says duck you auto correct.

607
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,080
Hangout all the time.

608
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,080
Astrid.

609
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,080
>> Okay.

610
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,080
>> Great.

611
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,080
>> Next text message.

612
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:49,080
But FYI, they named some sort of hipster (with no “e"), beer emoji after him.

613
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,080
Okay.

614
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,080
>> Oh, huh.

615
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,080
Yeah, it seems like we've heard about that before.

616
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,080
>> Interesting.

617
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,080
>> Yeah.

618
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,080
That's a theme.

619
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,080
Okay.

620
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,080
Now he thinks he's too good for everyone.

621
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:03,080
IMO.

622
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,080
And a bunch of exclamation points.

623
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,080
That is, that's tough.

624
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,080
He keeps going.

625
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:15,080
>> SMHWTF is up again, the up arrow.

626
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,080
Whit that in an angry face.

627
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,080
>> Yeah, that feels like a lot.

628
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,080
It feels like a lot.

629
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,080
>> And then again, but IDC, which means I don't care, I think.

630
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,080
>> Yeah.

631
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,080
>> I know and oh.

632
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,080
Deep with a lot of ease.

633
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,080
>> That's a lot.

634
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:37,080
>> I know deep down, like 180 feet down.

635
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,080
Every TBT, let's throw back Thursday.

636
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:44,080
He thinks of doing corkscrews in the Columbia with me.

637
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,080
>> Oh.

638
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,080
>> So this guy seems sweet in the end.

639
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,080
Maybe you should get his number.

640
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,080
>> Yeah, we'll see.

641
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:53,080
>> Okay.

642
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,080
>> Sound like there was some clues in there though.

643
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:59,080
>> I mean, I would think so, but.

644
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:05,080
>> Well, are you ready for round number three?

645
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,080
Because I think you're going to really like it.

646
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,080
>> Okay.

647
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,080
>> Yeah.

648
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:11,080
>> Okay.

649
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,080
I hope so.

650
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,080
>> So each one of the bachelors gave me a little something to give to you.

651
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,080
>> Oh boy.

652
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,080
>> Okay.

653
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,080
So this first gift is from bacheloring number one.

654
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,080
>> Oh, it's so cute.

655
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,080
>> Okay, let's see what's in here.

656
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,080
>> Chocolate.

657
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:29,080
>> Oh.

658
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,080
>> Sorry.

659
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:35,080
I got hungry, but I heard you didn't even like chocolate.

660
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,080
>> Okay.

661
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:41,080
So, I mean, you know, it's empty, but.

662
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,080
>> He did wrap it.

663
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,080
>> He did.

664
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,080
Yeah.

665
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,080
I mean, the thought is the thought that you're counting.

666
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:47,080
>> He's your count.

667
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,080
>> Okay.

668
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,080
>> Okay.

669
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,080
This is from bacheloring number two.

670
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,080
>> Okay.

671
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,080
>> All right.

672
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:55,080
>> Oh, is there.

673
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:56,080
>> Okay.

674
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,080
Let's see.

675
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,080
All right.

676
00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,080
Oh boy.

677
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,080
>> Oh.

678
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,080
>> Oh.

679
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,080
>> It's too blurry.

680
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,080
How sweet.

681
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,080
>> He does like Chinese stuff.

682
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,080
>> He does like Chinese stuff.

683
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,080
>> Right.

684
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,080
>> That he does.

685
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:16,080
Clearly, a very effestant heart, Marty Grobby's.

686
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:21,080
It's kind of a two-fer because you could really use these for two different holidays every

687
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,080
year.

688
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,080
>> Beautiful, beautiful jewelry.

689
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:31,080
I'm sure if he wasn't on a budget, he would get you something nicer.

690
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:32,080
>> Okay.

691
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,080
>> That's what they all say.

692
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,080
>> Okay.

693
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,080
From bacheloring number three.

694
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,080
>> A door up all.

695
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,080
>> I'm scared.

696
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,080
>> Okay.

697
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,080
>> Oh.

698
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,080
>> A charging cord.

699
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,080
>> It's a phone charger.

700
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,080
Interesting.

701
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,080
Okay.

702
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,080
>> Okay.

703
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:52,080
>> A shark.

704
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,080
>> Oh.

705
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,080
>> Bacheloring number four's gift.

706
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,080
>> It's heavy.

707
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,080
>> That's heavy.

708
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:58,080
>> What is it?

709
00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,080
>> What is it, Caitlyn?

710
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,080
>> Later.

711
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,080
>> Colossal Claud.

712
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,080
>> Oh, wow.

713
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,080
>> No, that's cheating.

714
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,080
>> It definitely seems like it.

715
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:20,080
>> Well, it seems as though we have a little cheater amongst us who just can keep their mouth shut about themselves.

716
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:27,080
>> So this is interesting because I feel like this is kind of a giveaway.

717
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,080
>> Yeah, a little bit.

718
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,080
>> A little bit because it's spoiler alert.

719
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,080
I can't appear.

720
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:33,080
>> Yes, it is.

721
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,080
The can of beer.

722
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,080
>> The can of beer.

723
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,080
>> There.

724
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,080
>> Has been mentioned.

725
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:39,080
>> The rose.

726
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,080
>> The rose.

727
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:41,080
>> Colossal.

728
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,080
>> Claude.

729
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:43,080
>> That's bitch.

730
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:46,080
>> Keep believe we did that.

731
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:52,080
>> But it says dedicated to fishing stories.

732
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,080
>> Oh.

733
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,080
>> Right on the front of this can.

734
00:27:55,080 --> 00:28:04,080
Word has it that after years of terrifying sailors and feasting on salmon, he acquired a taste for hops.

735
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:14,080
So we brewed this imperial IPA with a colossal dose of cascade, shanook, citra, and strata hops.

736
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:19,080
In hopes of coaxing, Claude out to join us for a pint.

737
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,080
>> Oh.

738
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:28,080
>> Okay, so this, if this is like his profile pic on Tinder, like which way are we swiping?

739
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:29,080
>> That's up to you.

740
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:30,080
>> Okay.

741
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,080
>> This is your dating game, baby.

742
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:36,080
>> Okay, well, I mean, I have some really difficult decisions to make.

743
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,080
I think at this point.

744
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:43,080
>> So I guess I don't need to ask you if you have any guesses who Bachelor number four is.

745
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,080
>> Because clearly it's colossal Claude.

746
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,080
He gave it away, gave him his damn self-aways.

747
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,080
>> He sure did.

748
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,080
>> Any final guesses on the others?

749
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:57,080
Or do you just want to head around for and choose your mans?

750
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:02,080
>> Yeah, I, this is a tough one.

751
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,080
>> It is tough.

752
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:11,080
>> I feel like I was getting a certain vibe about some of these and now I might be more confused than ever.

753
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,080
>> That was my goal.

754
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,080
>> Yeah.

755
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,080
>> Yeah, I'm really not sure.

756
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:18,080
>> I don't know.

757
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:19,080
>> Okay.

758
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:24,080
>> Do you think any of them are like the usual suspects we would see in the PNW?

759
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,080
>> I think maybe one of them is.

760
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:31,080
>> I'm just, you know, it just feels too soon to say for sure.

761
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,080
>> Okay.

762
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:36,080
>> Okay, round four.

763
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:44,080
>> Before you got to pick your ideal mate and then I will tell you all about every single one of them.

764
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,080
>> Yeah, so this is a really tough one.

765
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:52,080
Normally I think number one, that would be a tempting choice.

766
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:57,080
But I'm a little bit afraid about some of these answers here.

767
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,080
So.

768
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:04,080
Also Caitlin, you're not really dating them.

769
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:09,080
>> I mean, but listen, I take everything that I do very seriously.

770
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:15,080
>> Yeah, yeah, I feel like Bachelor number two for sure is out because I have small animals.

771
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:20,080
>> That's going to be a deal breaker for me.

772
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:25,080
>> They gave them, you know, they stimulated his serotonin.

773
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,080
>> Yeah.

774
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:33,080
It's like they would make him happy for how long and in what form or fashion.

775
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,080
>> Okay, so.

776
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:39,080
>> My gosh.

777
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:45,080
>> Well, Clyde or Claude had the most terrible answers, but he's the one that I wanted, obviously.

778
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,080
>> I know, that's why I made him a douche.

779
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,080
>> Yeah.

780
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,080
>> I was like, I know it.

781
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:55,080
>> I feel like realistically.

782
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,080
>> Okay.

783
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,080
>> Okay.

784
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:58,080
>> Moment of truth.

785
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:03,080
>> Moment of truth, I think I'm going to go with number three.

786
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,080
>> Number three.

787
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,080
>> Wow, that's a surprise.

788
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,080
>> Is it?

789
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,080
>> Okay.

790
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,080
>> Okay.

791
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,080
>> Are you ready to find out who your Bachelor is?

792
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,080
>> Sure.

793
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:19,080
>> Okay, Bachelor number three is Bat Squatch.

794
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:23,080
>> I feel like it was a Squatch.

795
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:35,080
>> So Bat Squatch, you remember he was the one who got confused with someone else.

796
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,080
>> Yeah.

797
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:37,080
>> Bat Squatch.

798
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:38,080
>> Bat Squatch.

799
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,080
>> I felt like I was picking that up.

800
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,080
>> Okay.

801
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,080
>> Yeah.

802
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,080
>> I was the only one that I felt like I had any clue on.

803
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:47,080
>> So I'll tell you a little bit more about him.

804
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:53,080
He is rumored to have originated from the 1980 Mount St. Helens eruption.

805
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,080
>> Oh.

806
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,080
>> But he has been spotted up and down the west coast.

807
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:04,080
He has described as basically a nine-foot tall Sasquatch with blue fur, huge bat wings, and glowing eyes.

808
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,080
>> Okay.

809
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,080
>> I remember I knew you liked the eyes.

810
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:08,080
>> Yeah.

811
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:12,080
>> You were weird about it, but they rubbed off on you.

812
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:16,080
>> Like bats, they are ancturnal and despise the light.

813
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,080
>> They live solitary lives.

814
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:19,080
>> Okay.

815
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:20,080
>> So that's why you had no friends or family.

816
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,080
>> Makes sense.

817
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,080
>> So I don't know why he wants a girlfriend, but you know, here we are.

818
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,080
>> Yeah.

819
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,080
>> Whatever.

820
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,080
>> So I guess that's good if what?

821
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,080
>> Oh.

822
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,080
>> What?

823
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:31,080
>> What?

824
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:37,080
>> So I guess that's good that you won't see like a horde of flying monkeys coming at you.

825
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,080
Was it a vastile?

826
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,080
>> Yeah.

827
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:40,080
>> Yeah.

828
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:41,080
>> Yeah.

829
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,080
>> Because that's a nightmare fuel.

830
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:45,080
>> Right.

831
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,080
>> For sure.

832
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:47,080
Yeah.

833
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:48,080
>> Totally.

834
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:49,080
>> Okay.

835
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,080
>> People who have witnessed a bat squash have reported battery drain.

836
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:53,080
>> Okay.

837
00:32:53,080 --> 00:33:00,080
>> It is very sweet of him to give you a phone charger for your date so you don't lose charge.

838
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,080
>> That makes sense.

839
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,080
>> Yeah.

840
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:03,080
Thoughtful.

841
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,080
>> How thoughtful.

842
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:05,080
>> Yeah.

843
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,080
>> I can't even believe how thoughtful he is.

844
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:08,080
>> Yeah.

845
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:11,080
>> Well, do you want to hear about the rest of the contestants?

846
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,080
>> Okay.

847
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:16,080
>> We can go with colossal clods since we already clearly know who he is.

848
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,080
>> Janus.

849
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:21,200
>> Caitlyn actually requested him.

850
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,200
So of course I had to make him unlikeable.

851
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,200
>> Yeah.

852
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:25,560
>> Because I knew she would just pick him.

853
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,880
>> An absolute douche canoe.

854
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,680
He was first spotted in the Columbia River in 1934.

855
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:33,680
C.C.

856
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:34,680
>> C.C.

857
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:35,680
>> I love that.

858
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:36,680
>> C.C.

859
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:40,400
>> Is a 15 to 40 foot long.

860
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:47,400
It's a big difference there but 15 to 40 foot long with a round body snake like tail

861
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,400
and eight foot long neck with a horse head.

862
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:51,400
>> Oh boy.

863
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:52,400
>> Yeah.

864
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,400
>> So the ultra long scarves were for the eight foot long neck.

865
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,400
>> I mean, that makes sense.

866
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:03,080
>> And I think I picked orange for his favorite color because if he has a horse head, maybe he

867
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,600
likes, you know, the sea words.

868
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,400
We can't say him because the dogs.

869
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:09,400
>> Oh yeah.

870
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,400
>> But you know those orange vegetables.

871
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:12,400
>> That makes sense.

872
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:13,400
>> Those orange vegetables.

873
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:14,400
>> Those orange vegetables.

874
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:15,400
>> They're crunchy.

875
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,400
>> That are crunchy.

876
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,400
>> Some people think he might be a plesia sore.

877
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:18,400
>> Oh.

878
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:22,400
>> Which are extinct because that's a dinosaur.

879
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:23,400
>> Okay.

880
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,400
>> But that's kind of the look of him, I guess.

881
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,400
>> Yeah.

882
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,400
>> So then it's not extinct.

883
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:29,400
>> Right.

884
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:30,400
>> If it was.

885
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:31,400
>> Yeah.

886
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:32,400
>> But who knows?

887
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:33,400
>> That are clouds not that.

888
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,400
>> And there's just, there's no way to know.

889
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,400
>> He's his own thing.

890
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:37,400
>> Yeah.

891
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,400
>> Boy is he.

892
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:47,400
>> In 1963, the Shell Oil Workers reported seeing CC 180 feet down, maneuvering in a corkscrew

893
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,400
fashion.

894
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,400
So.

895
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:50,400
>> Interesting.

896
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,400
>> That's what he likes to do.

897
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,400
Corkscrews in the Columbia.

898
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:55,400
>> Okay.

899
00:34:55,400 --> 00:35:01,000
>> Some fishermen who had an encounter with him said he would steal 20 pound halibut right

900
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,000
off the line.

901
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,400
>> I mean, I would absolutely do that if I could.

902
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:06,400
>> Right.

903
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:07,400
>> They're delicious.

904
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:08,400
So.

905
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:09,400
>> Well, too bad he didn't pick him.

906
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,400
He could steal you some halibut.

907
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,400
>> Yeah.

908
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,400
>> But, you know, he'd probably just talk about his beer the whole time.

909
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:15,400
>> I know.

910
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:16,400
>> When he didn't do.

911
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:21,400
I mean, but what pairs better with fish and chips than a beer?

912
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:22,400
>> Right.

913
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,400
>> He's on something.

914
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:25,400
>> Fun fact.

915
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,400
I guess he's sometimes known as Marvin the Monster.

916
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:29,400
>> Mm-hmm.

917
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,400
>> Which I didn't know.

918
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,400
Fun fact.

919
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,400
>> That's what I've heard.

920
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,400
>> Never heard of it.

921
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:40,400
>> It's all like old man names too.

922
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:41,400
>> Yeah.

923
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:42,400
>> Which is kind of funny.

924
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:43,400
It's a Claude Marvin.

925
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:47,400
>> So contestant number one was the gumberoo.

926
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,400
Have you heard of it?

927
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,400
>> I cannot say that I have.

928
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,400
>> Okay.

929
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,400
>> I don't think.

930
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:59,600
>> He's found along the coast from Washington to California, described as bear like but with

931
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:00,600
no fur.

932
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:01,600
>> What?

933
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:02,600
>> So.

934
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,600
>> Well, that's why he likes the sweaters.

935
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:07,600
>> Okay.

936
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:08,600
>> Okay.

937
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:13,600
>> Instead, he has black leathery skin that is basically a shield.

938
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:14,600
>> Okay.

939
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,600
>> Protecting the gumberoo even against bullets.

940
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:18,600
>> Whoa.

941
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:19,600
>> So very tough.

942
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:20,600
>> Okay.

943
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,600
>> Which I'm surprised you didn't pick him.

944
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:23,600
>> Yeah.

945
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,600
>> Because he was the protective.

946
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:26,600
>> Yeah.

947
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,600
>> He doesn't like fire.

948
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:29,600
>> I mean.

949
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:33,600
>> He lives on the coast range and he doesn't want to do a fire on the beach.

950
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,600
>> Well, there's a reason.

951
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:36,600
I'll tell you.

952
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:37,600
>> All right.

953
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:43,120
>> Some speculate that the skin itself might not be black in color but coated in the ash of

954
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:46,600
his home, which is a burnt cedar tree.

955
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:50,600
>> I was going to say he says he likes a smell of burnt trees.

956
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,600
>> Because they remind him of home.

957
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:54,600
>> Oh.

958
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,600
>> He lives in a little burnt tree.

959
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:57,600
>> Okay.

960
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:58,600
>> Or a big burnt tree.

961
00:36:58,600 --> 00:36:59,600
>> A little one.

962
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:00,600
>> A little one.

963
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:08,600
>> Which is ironic that his home and his favorite scent are burnt but he is scared of fire.

964
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:09,600
>> That's what I'm saying.

965
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,600
>> So why is that?

966
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:17,600
>> Fire is one of the only ways to kill a gumberoo and they are apparently highly flammable.

967
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:18,600
>> Oh boy.

968
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,600
>> So that's why he has the explosive personality.

969
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:22,600
>> Oh.

970
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,600
>> But his mummy said.

971
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:25,600
>> Oh.

972
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:26,600
>> Booboo.

973
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:27,600
>> Booboo.

974
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:32,600
>> He does have one other weakness and that's being bitten by another creature called the Timber

975
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:33,600
Doodle.

976
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:34,600
>> Like a poodle?

977
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,600
>> I get, I don't know.

978
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:37,600
>> A Timber poodle?

979
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:38,600
I have no idea.

980
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:44,600
>> That led me to believe he wouldn't like to be bitten at all.

981
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:45,600
Probably pretty vanilla.

982
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:46,600
>> Okay.

983
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:47,600
>> So.

984
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:48,600
>> Yeah.

985
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:49,600
>> Hence the missionaries.

986
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:50,600
>> I see where I see.

987
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,600
>> Oh, I follow.

988
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:53,600
>> She gets it.

989
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:54,600
She gets me.

990
00:37:54,600 --> 00:38:03,600
>> He also has, as I alluded to in the very first question, and this is a very scientific term,

991
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,600
a shitton of very sharp teeth.

992
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:08,600
>> Oh.

993
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:09,600
>> So yeah.

994
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:10,600
>> It might make kissing a little hard.

995
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:11,600
>> I, yeah.

996
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:12,600
>> I could see that.

997
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:13,600
>> Yeah.

998
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,600
>> I feel like it would be like an Edward Scissor Hands situation.

999
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:17,600
>> Yeah.

1000
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:18,600
>> On your lips.

1001
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:19,600
>> But like with your mouth.

1002
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,600
>> Yeah.

1003
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:21,600
>> Not ideal.

1004
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:22,600
>> Did you like my Scissor Hands?

1005
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:23,600
>> Yeah.

1006
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,600
>> You look like you were doing finger guns again.

1007
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,600
>> Who knows?

1008
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:34,600
All those teeth probably help him out because he does have an insatiable appetite.

1009
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:35,600
>> I mean, same.

1010
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,600
>> Clearly, he ate all of his lovely date's chocolates.

1011
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:40,600
>> Yeah.

1012
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:41,600
>> Who does that?

1013
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,600
>> He will eat anything that even looks like food.

1014
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:48,600
So I'd watch out for all those food-shaped items we like to carry around.

1015
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,600
Yes, I'm talking to you, Miss Pizza Purse.

1016
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:51,600
>> Pizza Purse.

1017
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,600
>> So good thing you didn't pick him and bring your pizza purse, your dog.

1018
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,600
He would have been, you would have just been gone, girl.

1019
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,600
>> He's like a hot dog and a pizza.

1020
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:00,600
>> Yeah.

1021
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,600
>> Oh, no.

1022
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:06,600
>> You put them in the little hot dog Halloween costume.

1023
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:07,600
>> Oh, God.

1024
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:11,600
>> No, I think that's a bachelor number two.

1025
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:12,600
>> Right.

1026
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:17,600
>> And how can I forget the Eugene Levy?

1027
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,600
That's not his name.

1028
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,600
>> Oh.

1029
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:21,600
>> Yeah.

1030
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:25,600
>> And how can I forget the Eugene Levy brows and porcupine chin?

1031
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:26,600
>> Oh, boy.

1032
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:27,600
>> Very hot.

1033
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:28,600
>> That's very hot.

1034
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:29,600
>> That is a lot.

1035
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:33,600
Also, another fun fact, very PNW.

1036
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,600
This story originated with lumberjacks.

1037
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:37,600
>> Huh.

1038
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:38,600
>> Yeah.

1039
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,600
>> That makes sense, though.

1040
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:41,600
>> Yeah.

1041
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:42,600
>> Out in the trees.

1042
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:43,600
>> Yeah.

1043
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:44,600
>> Yeah.

1044
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,600
>> Bachelor number two is Ogo Pogo.

1045
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,600
>> Ogo Pogo.

1046
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,600
>> Have you heard of him?

1047
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,600
>> It sounds so familiar.

1048
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,600
>> It's an interesting one.

1049
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:56,600
>> Uh-huh.

1050
00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:02,600
>> Ogo Pogo dwells in Okanagan Lake in Kelona, British Columbia.

1051
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,600
>> Yeah, he does.

1052
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:12,600
>> And no one else is going to know, but that took me a ridiculously long amount of time to say that whole sentence.

1053
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,600
>> It's been ten minutes.

1054
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:15,600
>> Oh, God.

1055
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:16,600
>> Okay.

1056
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:20,600
>> He's described as some sort of serpent or dragon creature.

1057
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:30,600
The legend is that the sea of Okanagan people who were native to the land gave offerings to Ogo Pogo in return for safe passage across the lake.

1058
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,600
>> Yes.

1059
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:33,600
>> Okay.

1060
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,600
>> And he guesses what the offering was.

1061
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,600
>> Live small animals.

1062
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:40,600
>> No, thank you.

1063
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:47,600
>> Later, people would start to bring their precious metals and jewelry to these Ogo Pogo.

1064
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:48,600
>> Yes.

1065
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,600
>> Instead of the live sacrifices.

1066
00:40:51,600 --> 00:41:00,600
>> Actually, the origin of this cryptid is most likely a misunderstanding due to language barriers.

1067
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:01,600
>> Huh.

1068
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:02,600
>> Yeah.

1069
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:03,600
>> Who would have thought?

1070
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:04,600
>> Weird, right?

1071
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:05,600
>> Who would have thought?

1072
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:12,600
>> The sea of Okanagan people told settlers of a sacred water spirit protecting the land.

1073
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:20,600
They called it, and this is a crazy looking name, but it came with a pronunciation, which is not too bad.

1074
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:21,600
So it's kind of fun.

1075
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:22,600
>> Okay.

1076
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,600
>> It's Naha Ikku.

1077
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:25,600
>> Oh.

1078
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:33,600
>> And it spelled like in a Pastery X with a little thingy AX-I-T-K thingy Mavavers.

1079
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,600
Yeah, it's really cool looking.

1080
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:41,600
>> Like our language is not as pretty as this, but.

1081
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:42,600
>> Sundame.

1082
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:48,600
>> That translates to the sacred spirit of the lake, which sounds nice.

1083
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:49,600
>> It does.

1084
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,600
>> They describe it as having a horse head with deer antlers.

1085
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,600
So I think it's kind of the same swimming creature maybe, but maybe not.

1086
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:01,600
Maybe it's just like a walking, like a land spirit.

1087
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:02,600
>> Yeah.

1088
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:03,600
>> That sounds--

1089
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:04,600
>> I don't know.

1090
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,600
>> Yeah, that sounds potentially really, really different.

1091
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:08,600
>> Very different.

1092
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:09,600
>> Yeah.

1093
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,600
>> Big, big miscommunication.

1094
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,600
Their offerings included tobacco, sage, and salmon.

1095
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:20,600
So try explaining this to white people, and it turns into sacrificing live animals to a

1096
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:21,600
piece of demon.

1097
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:22,600
>> I mean--

1098
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:23,600
>> Yeah.

1099
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:24,600
>> And we are.

1100
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,600
>> I mean, we are kind of the worst.

1101
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,600
>> The actual worst.

1102
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:35,600
>> So, fast forward to the 20s where we get the origin of the Ogo Pogo name from a very

1103
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,600
entertaining song.

1104
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,600
I will include the link to the song.

1105
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:41,600
It's really fun.

1106
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,600
I highly suggest listening to it.

1107
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:44,600
>> Oh.

1108
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:50,600
>> But some of the lyrics are, I am looking for the Ogo Pogo, the funny little Ogo Pogo.

1109
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,600
His mother was a polywag.

1110
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:53,600
His father was a whale.

1111
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,600
I am going to put a little salt on his tail.

1112
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:57,600
>> Rude.

1113
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:58,600
>> I know.

1114
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,600
So I figured he might be scared of salt.

1115
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:01,600
Like a slug.

1116
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:02,600
>> Yeah.

1117
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:03,600
Right?

1118
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:04,600
>> Yeah.

1119
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:05,600
Eaky.

1120
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,600
>> They do compare him to the Loch Ness Monster.

1121
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:14,600
The locals have statues of him, and people even travel to visit the lake to try and get a glimpse.

1122
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,600
But I had never heard of him.

1123
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:21,600
And obviously, he's not as famous as a Loch Ness Monster, because he doesn't have, you know,

1124
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:22,600
ladles of him.

1125
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,600
>> Yeah.

1126
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:26,600
>> You can, you know, use in your kitchen.

1127
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,600
Not by a long shot.

1128
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:29,600
>> Yeah.

1129
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:30,600
>> I want one really bad.

1130
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:31,600
>> I know.

1131
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:36,600
>> So I gathered that he might be a little bit, have a little bit of a complex about that.

1132
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:37,600
>> Yeah.

1133
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:45,600
>> So, I mean, listen, it's probably best that I didn't go this route, because I myself have

1134
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:49,600
a Loch Ness loose leaf tea diffuser.

1135
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:50,600
>> Oh, yeah.

1136
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:51,600
>> Oh, yeah.

1137
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:52,600
>> See what I mean?

1138
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:53,600
There's not an Ogo Pogo one.

1139
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:54,600
>> That's right.

1140
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:57,600
>> You mean, man, that's rough.

1141
00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:58,600
Living in the shadow.

1142
00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,600
>> Right.

1143
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:00,600
>> Yeah, sad.

1144
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,600
>> But one more little fun, funsy fact for you.

1145
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:11,600
In the 80s, there was a $1 million reward for proof of the Ogo Pogo's existence.

1146
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:12,600
>> Oh.

1147
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:13,600
>> Yeah.

1148
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:14,600
>> $1 million.

1149
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:19,600
>> $1 million dollars.

1150
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,600
>> Wait, is the reward no longer?

1151
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:22,600
>> I don't think so.

1152
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,600
>> I think they probably canceled that.

1153
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:29,600
I mean, they've got their tourists now on their merch, so they're good to go.

1154
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:30,600
>> Okay.

1155
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:31,600
>> That's fair.

1156
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:38,600
>> Are you ready to do the terror reading to find out what Mr. Batsquatch has in mind for you?

1157
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,600
What his intentions are with you?

1158
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:42,600
>> I...

1159
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:48,600
>> You know, it's probably best if I have all of the information, but I'm a little bit afraid.

1160
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:49,600
>> That's all of the information.

1161
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:50,600
>> Okay.

1162
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,600
>> I'm going to have all of the information.

1163
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,600
>> Listen, I'm going to trust the tarot.

1164
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:57,600
It's going to guide me correctly.

1165
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:58,600
>> I think so too.

1166
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,600
>> It's going to know these cryptids.

1167
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:01,600
>> Okay.

1168
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:02,600
>> Are you ready?

1169
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,600
>> Yeah.

1170
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:04,600
>> Tarot?

1171
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:05,600
>> Tarot?

1172
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,600
>> I'm excited for this terror read.

1173
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:10,600
I wasn't.

1174
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,600
We had a lot of technical difficulties.

1175
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,600
>> Now, I'm feeling it.

1176
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:15,600
>> I'm feeling it.

1177
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:16,600
>> Yeah.

1178
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:17,600
We got it figured out.

1179
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:18,600
>> Okay.

1180
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,600
>> It's probably being cursed and/or haunted.

1181
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:22,600
>> Yeah.

1182
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:25,600
So, I regret my decisions.

1183
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:26,600
>> No.

1184
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,600
>> So, like maybe Batsquatch isn't the one for me.

1185
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:30,600
>> He is.

1186
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:31,600
Don't say that about him.

1187
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:44,600
And when we have the other rogue beer, the gumberu, so rogue made the gumberoo, the Batsquatch, and colossal clod into beers.

1188
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:49,600
And I did not know that before I picked them for this episode.

1189
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,600
I knew colossal Claude did.

1190
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:52,600
>> Yeah.

1191
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:53,600
That's the only one I knew about.

1192
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:54,600
>> Yeah.

1193
00:45:54,600 --> 00:46:02,600
>> Even in like researching them, typing in their names into Google, I didn't either, it didn't register that they had beers or it just didn't come up.

1194
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:03,600
But yeah.

1195
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:06,600
So, I was pretty surprised and happy to find that out.

1196
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:11,600
They don't have OgoPogo yet, but we will start a petition.

1197
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,600
>> Absolutely.

1198
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:14,600
>> Okay.

1199
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:16,600
>> Okay, Caitlyn.

1200
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:17,600
>> That's me.

1201
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:22,600
>> Pick your eligible, what are you, sassy, sexy single?

1202
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:23,600
>> Oh, boy.

1203
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:24,600
>> Okay.

1204
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:25,600
>> Okay.

1205
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:26,600
>> Okay.

1206
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,600
>> For Batsquatch's intentions with you.

1207
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:30,600
>> Okay.

1208
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,600
>> What did we get?

1209
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:33,600
>> Shut up.

1210
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:34,600
>> Did we get?

1211
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:35,600
>> What did we get?

1212
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:36,600
>> Shut up.

1213
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,600
>> Shut up.

1214
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:39,600
>> Oh, cool.

1215
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:41,600
We got the full.

1216
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,600
That's my card.

1217
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:44,600
>> Okay.

1218
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:46,600
>> It was really debating.

1219
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:50,600
>> I think the fool is kind of fitting for this one.

1220
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:52,600
>> He's some sort of otter, the river otter.

1221
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,600
>> Just a sea otter.

1222
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:55,600
>> Okay.

1223
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:58,600
>> Oh, this actually works, I think.

1224
00:46:58,600 --> 00:46:59,600
>> Okay.

1225
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:00,600
>> It's so good.

1226
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:01,600
>> Okay.

1227
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:09,600
So, our key words are innocence, beginnings, trust, hope, and opportunity.

1228
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:13,600
It's the first card in the major arcana.

1229
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:17,040
The fool begins your journey toward wisdom.

1230
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:20,800
The fool represents innocence and faith.

1231
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,200
The naive competence of youth.

1232
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:29,600
Shown as a young traveler, he embarks on an adventure without a care in the world.

1233
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:33,600
Unconcerned about the potential dangers that lurk ahead on the path.

1234
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,600
>> I think you're the fool.

1235
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,600
>> That doesn't sound like me at all.

1236
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,600
>> You pick a cryptid to date, you fool.

1237
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:42,600
>> I know.

1238
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:43,600
>> I know.

1239
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,600
>> That's what it's trying to say.

1240
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:52,600
>> In some decks, he appears as a happy, go-lucky young male standing at the edge of a cliff.

1241
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,600
Just about to step off into the great unknown.

1242
00:47:55,600 --> 00:48:05,600
Often, he carries all his worldly possessions tied in a small bag on a stick over his shoulder.

1243
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:10,600
Suggesting he doesn't have a lot of baggage yet and is open to life's experiences.

1244
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:16,600
>> Well, the bat's quatch doesn't have friends or family, so probably not a lot of baggage.

1245
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,600
>> Yeah, I would think.

1246
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,600
Oh my goodness.

1247
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:29,600
The fool symbolizes the blind, leap of faith we almost take upon entering the journey of life.

1248
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:33,600
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

1249
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:34,600
>> Oh.

1250
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:40,600
>> When the fool appears in a reading, it usually means you're about to embark on a new way of life.

1251
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:41,600
>> Oh, yeah.

1252
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,600
>> Yeah, you are.

1253
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:53,600
>> You're open to new experiences and to discovering what lies around the bend.

1254
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:59,600
Even if you're not sure about the path you've chosen, you have faith that everything will turn out well.

1255
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:05,600
You probably feel out of sync with the rest of the world, but in a good way.

1256
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:07,600
Are we so sure?

1257
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:08,600
>> Oh.

1258
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:11,600
>> Listen, I'm wearing literal rose colored glasses.

1259
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:18,600
I'm channeling Elton John here, but like, I ain't no fool.

1260
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,600
>> You hear the beat of a different drummer and you're ready to march to it.

1261
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:25,600
>> You hear the beat of leathery bat wings.

1262
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:27,600
>> Oh boy.

1263
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:30,600
>> I'm skipping right to the love reading.

1264
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:31,600
>> Perfect.

1265
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:41,600
>> In a reading about love, this card often means beginning a romance or moving into a new stage in an existing relationship.

1266
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:46,600
A new relationship may feel faded as if you've met your soulmate.

1267
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:47,600
>> Oh.

1268
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,600
>> That's quite your soulmate.

1269
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,600
>> Yay.

1270
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:56,600
>> Enjoy this period of joy, openness, and excitement.

1271
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,600
>> Oh, there's another extra excerpt.

1272
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:04,600
The quest for meaning always takes us into the unknown.

1273
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:06,600
>> That's true.

1274
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:07,600
>> Oh boy.

1275
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,600
>> Okay.

1276
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:13,600
>> Taking these bad boys off, I feel like they are blinding me.

1277
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:14,600
>> I love that.

1278
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:15,600
That was the perfect reading.

1279
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:19,600
It made up for all of our problems in the beginning, I think.

1280
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,600
>> Oh my goodness.

1281
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:22,600
Yeah.

1282
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,600
We were having some real technical difficulties.

1283
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:25,600
>> Yeah.

1284
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:33,600
>> Do you like our explosion of Valentine's all over the bed and the altar and?

1285
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:34,600
>> It's perfect.

1286
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:35,600
It's beautiful.

1287
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:39,600
>> I love your heart shaped little shelf here.

1288
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:40,600
>> Mm-hmm.

1289
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:42,600
>> And you got, is this love potion?

1290
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:44,600
>> It's actually poison.

1291
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:46,600
>> We're going to pretend it's love potion.

1292
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:47,600
>> Yeah.

1293
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:48,600
>> Which, aka poison.

1294
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:53,600
>> Well, we hope you all have a swell V-Day.

1295
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:58,600
No matter what you do, if you celebrate, if you don't, if you have a date, if you don't,

1296
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,600
do something for yourself.

1297
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,600
Self love is important.

1298
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,600
>> Happy Valentine's Day for you people.

1299
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:06,600
>> Happy Valentine's Day for you people.

1300
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:07,600
>> This is really fun episode.

1301
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:10,600
I had a lot of fun being creative and making shit up.

1302
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:11,600
That was a good time.

1303
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:12,600
>> I know.

1304
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,600
>> We're going to have to do this again, for sure.

1305
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:22,600
>> So write in with suggestions of credits because we're doing this again.

1306
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:25,600
>> If I have to write it myself, we're doing it again.

1307
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:26,600
That was too much fun.

1308
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:27,600
>> Yeah, sure turn.

1309
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:28,600
>> I'm obsessed.

1310
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:29,600
>> Oh, thanks.

1311
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:33,600
>> Have a creepy ass Valentine's Day.

1312
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,600
>> See you next Tuesday.

1313
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:37,600
>> See you next Tuesday.

1314
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:46,600
>> Unless you're one of the three bachelor cryptids that Caitlyn and Pick lose my number.

1315
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:47,600
>> Yeah.

1316
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:48,600
>> I'm sure they're all very upset.

1317
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:53,600
I'm going to have to call each one of them personally afterwards and tell them the bad news.

1318
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,600
>> Wish me luck every morning.

1319
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:58,600
>> If I'm not here next week, you guys know why.

1320
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:03,600
>> I might have been eaten by a cryptid because he was mad.

1321
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:07,600
>> Okay, well, listen, we're going to have to have a chat with them.

1322
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:10,600
That's not how you solve problems, okay?

1323
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,600
Bye.

1324
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:13,600
Bye.

1325
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,600
>> Bye.

1326
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:21,600
>> So for all of you that are listening, if you have any true crime or paranormal stories

1327
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:25,600
that you want us to share, maybe with a whole Pacific Northwest?

1328
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,600
>> Yes, we would love to read them on the pod.

1329
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:34,600
>> Yes, we will read them out loud, not just in our heads.

1330
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:35,600
>> Yes.

1331
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:40,600
>> They don't have to be from the Pacific Northwest, if you would like to share.

1332
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:46,600
>> Email us at pnwhauntsandhomicides@gmail.com.

1333
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:49,600
It's all spelled out, no special characters.

1334
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,600
Super duper easy peasy.

1335
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:55,600
>> Follow us on Instagram and Facebook.

1336
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:59,600
Same thing as the email @pnwhauntsandhomicides

1337
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:02,600
All spelled out, no special characters.

1338
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:06,600
Please also rate and review us on whatever platform you're listening to

1339
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:12,600
and check out our stories on social media because our main game is hot.

1340
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:13,600
Agreed.

1341
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:19,600
And if you agree, like Caitlyn, you can also find us on Patreon and support the show. pnwhauntsandhomicides.com

1342
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:20,600
>> Bitchin.

1343
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:21,600
[laughs]

1344
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:22,600
[music]

1345
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:24,600
[music]

1346
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,600
[music]

1347
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,600
[music]

1348
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:55,600
[laughs]

1349
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:59,600
>> Oh, that is not a birthday present for Kelsey.

1350
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:01,600
That is offensive.

1351
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,600
[laughs]

1352
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:05,600
>> Please read it.

1353
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,600
[laughs]

1354
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:08,600
>> I cannot read this.

1355
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:09,600
>> Do you want me to read it?

1356
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,600
>> Oh my god.

1357
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,600
[laughs]

1358
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,600
I mean, I would hardly call this a family show, but--

1359
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,600
>> No, we don't need to read it.

1360
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,600
>> Oh my god, no, we have to read it.

1361
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:21,600
>> Oh, do you want to read it?

1362
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:22,600
>> Oh my god.

1363
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:23,600
[laughs]

1364
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,600
>> If there's any kids around, send them out of the room.

1365
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:28,600
[laughs]

1366
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,600
>> Immediately.

1367
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:31,600
If that's sooner.

1368
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,600
Why are you letting your kids know something about it?

1369
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,600
>> Don't let them listen to me.

1370
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:36,600
>> Yeah.

1371
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:38,600
>> I'm naughty.

1372
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:39,600
[laughs]

1373
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,600
>> Jesus.

1374
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,600
>> Okay.

1375
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:44,600
The submarine.

1376
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:52,600
Also known as a sexual act involving a man eating out a woman's vagina

1377
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,600
while masturbating.

1378
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:56,600
>> Okay, seems tame.

1379
00:54:56,600 --> 00:55:04,600
>> Just before he comes to completion, he looks up at her.

1380
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:11,600
When she notices him looking at her, he says, "Target locked," which is,

1381
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,600
I can't know, never.

1382
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,600
>> Target locked.

1383
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:17,600
[laughs]

1384
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,600
>> Target is officially out of the room.

1385
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:26,600
While the girl is still in confusion, he says, "Fire torpedo."

1386
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:27,600
[laughs]

1387
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:30,600
As he jumps up and comes to completion on her face.

1388
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:31,600
>> In her face.

1389
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:32,600
>> On her face.

1390
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:33,600
>> In her face.

1391
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:35,600
>> Oh boy.

1392
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:39,600
Then walks away saying, "Target destroyed."

1393
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:47,600
And I would literally end the life of this critter.

1394
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:51,600
>> I mean, this is something you need to talk about with your partner before hand

1395
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,600
and make sure everyone's okay with it.

1396
00:55:53,600 --> 00:56:01,600
>> Yeah, because listen, this definition comes with, "Can I hear it in a sentence?"

1397
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,600
>> And here we go.

1398
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:08,600
Kelsey was so surprised when I gave her that submarine for her birthday.

1399
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,600
>> No.

1400
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,600
>> Don't surprise a submarine on any person.

1401
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,600
>> Never surprise anyone with anything ever.

1402
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:16,600
>> No.

1403
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:18,600
>> Consent is key.

1404
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:22,600
>> Yeah. Also, that does not sound like a birthday present for Kelsey.

1405
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:23,600
Just FYI.

1406
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,600
>Kelsey, are you okay?

1407
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,600
>> Kelsey is not okay.

1408
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:30,600
>> Kelsey, are you okay?

1409
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:32,600
>> Kelsey, are you okay?

1410
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:33,600
>> Kelsey, are you okay?