Cryptid Dating Game: Beaver State Beasts

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,040 While my reputation may proceed me, like Taylor Swift, I harbor no illusions about the 2 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:11,200 nature of my desires. 3 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,560 I neither want nor like the company of children. 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,560 Oh, okay. 5 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:16,560 Yeah, see? 6 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,560 All right. 7 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:18,560 All right. 8 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:25,200 Preferring the companionship of my loyal pack of spotted dogs, creatures as wild and untamed 9 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:26,800 as the swamp itself. 10 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:27,800 All right. 11 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,720 I mean, okay, so I'm coming around. 12 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,720 It's got dogs. 13 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:32,720 Okay. 14 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:33,720 Pack of spotted dogs. 15 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:34,720 Yeah. 16 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:41,720 Hello, Caitlyn. 17 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,240 Hi, Cassie. 18 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,600 Hello, creepy people. 19 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:46,840 I don't know what's happening. 20 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:47,840 I don't know. 21 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:48,840 I don't like it. 22 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:53,920 Sometimes I say hello and then I just like, I want to try to pretend that it's normal 23 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,560 and it's not. 24 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:01,000 Yeah, pretending to be normal is just not something that I feel like it's going to work 25 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 for you. 26 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000 It's masking. 27 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000 Yeah. 28 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000 Yeah. 29 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,680 Well, hi, creepy people. 30 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:08,880 Hello. 31 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:14,040 If you're new to our creepy corner of the world, this is PNW Hansen Homicides, where we 32 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:19,280 chat about true crime, the paranormal and all things creepy. 33 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:24,120 Sometimes really fun in the Pacific Northwest. 34 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,960 Not always creepy, y'all. 35 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:26,960 That's true. 36 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,800 That's true. 37 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:29,800 Mostly it's creepy. 38 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:30,800 Mostly fun. 39 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,160 We like to have fun as well. 40 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:35,760 It's Valentine's Day when this comes out. 41 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:36,760 Yeah. 42 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:43,560 I'm like, it's not Valentine's Day, but we're celebrating with each other. 43 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,560 We got wine. 44 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,960 We got a cute little altar. 45 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:53,480 And you know what we do that is probably the arguably the most celebratory thing. 46 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,280 We also do a tarot reading in every episode. 47 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,280 We do. 48 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:58,280 All right. 49 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,280 We'll be doing one today as well. 50 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:01,280 Excellent. 51 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,280 We got my cute ghost tarot deck. 52 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,280 Okay. 53 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:09,280 Well, do y'all remember last year's Valentine's episode? 54 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,280 Yeah. 55 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,280 What was it? 56 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:12,280 I don't remember. 57 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:13,280 Yes, you do. 58 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,280 How dare you? 59 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,280 Cryptid dating game. 60 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,280 I loved it. 61 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,280 Are we doing it again this year? 62 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,280 I don't know. 63 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,280 Are we? 64 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:24,080 I don't know. 65 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,080 Let's find out. 66 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:29,920 We have a bag over here of what looks like gifts that somebody dropped off. 67 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:31,480 We don't know who. 68 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,840 We are getting so many gifties today. 69 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:34,840 We are. 70 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,520 So we're going to start with a gift. 71 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,720 And then we're doing something a little different this year. 72 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:41,720 Okay. 73 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,680 And I'll tell you about it when we get there. 74 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:52,620 But I'm going to start with the gift and it has clues on to who this special cryptid mans 75 00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,620 is. 76 00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:54,620 Okay. 77 00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:55,620 Okay. 78 00:02:55,620 --> 00:03:00,720 Caitlyn has a gift and also they brought me a gift too for being the host. 79 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:01,720 Oh. 80 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:02,720 Okay. 81 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,120 So you open your gift. 82 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,120 Okay. 83 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,880 This is from Bachelor number one. 84 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:08,880 Mysterious. 85 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:09,880 Okay. 86 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:10,880 We're going to call him blue. 87 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:11,880 Blue. 88 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:12,880 Okay. 89 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,800 It's a blue sucker, which blue sucker. 90 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,720 He I can't blame him. 91 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,160 He hasn't gotten to know me yet. 92 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:25,680 But blue would be the last color of a sucker that I would ever choose because I have a 93 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,320 weird thing about how it turns my mouth blue. 94 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,320 Oh. 95 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,320 Well, fun fact. 96 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:35,320 That is a sucker that is supposed to dye your tongue. 97 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:36,800 It says don't worry. 98 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,800 Be happy. 99 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:38,800 It does. 100 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:43,560 And that kind of just represents the color but everything is kind of a clue on to their 101 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,560 personality. 102 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,760 So take that into consideration while you're judging. 103 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,760 Okay. 104 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:49,760 Yeah. 105 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:50,760 All right. 106 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,800 I know I didn't do the whole host thing this year like welcome to the cryptid dating show. 107 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:55,800 Yeah. 108 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,800 You know what? 109 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:57,800 I'm out. 110 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,400 Go to the last year's episode to get that. 111 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,400 We're casual this year. 112 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:04,400 We cash. 113 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:09,840 Oh my goodness. 114 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:10,840 Okay. 115 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,240 What is going on here? 116 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,400 Oh, there's a little paddle game. 117 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,040 It says it's rough. 118 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,880 Rough, rough, rough. 119 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:19,880 Without you. 120 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:20,880 No. 121 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:21,880 That is so cute. 122 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,360 The little paddle ball games. 123 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:27,480 But you know, I think they're supposed to like represent like a naughty paddle. 124 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,480 Oh. 125 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,480 I don't know though. 126 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:30,480 For sure. 127 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:31,480 You would. 128 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,320 And I've got a cute little blue puppy. 129 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,320 Yeah. 130 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,320 It's like a little weeny dog. 131 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:45,000 That is so funny because I brought home a bunch of my stuffed animals and toys from when 132 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,800 I was a kid. 133 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,720 And I have a bunch of them that look just like a little dachshund. 134 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,720 Thank you. 135 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:52,720 Yeah. 136 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:53,720 The timing is great. 137 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,280 I'm really in a stuffed animal place in my life right now. 138 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,800 Bachelor number one now. 139 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,400 Blue bachelor now. 140 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,400 I guess. 141 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:07,120 And oh, my Valentine has four paws. 142 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:08,920 Oh, interesting. 143 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:12,000 With little posse all over. 144 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,880 It's a wine glass for anyone who can't see. 145 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:15,880 Yes. 146 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:16,880 Yep. 147 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,800 So you have a new wine glass. 148 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:20,800 Look at that. 149 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:21,800 Okay. 150 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,800 Let me open mine really quick. 151 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,520 Just get it out of the way. 152 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,600 Because I don't know. 153 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,400 I might have gotten a wine glass too. 154 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:31,640 And I don't know if we want to use these right now. 155 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:32,640 Oh gosh. 156 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:33,640 We forgot me. 157 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:34,640 This gift is so awful. 158 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:35,640 Oh, look. 159 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:40,960 It's full of suckers. 160 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,520 My wine glass says, love the wine you're with. 161 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:45,520 Oh, my God. 162 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,760 I love that. 163 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,840 Because I'm alone. 164 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:52,760 You're never alone if you have wine. 165 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:53,760 Okay. 166 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,960 Are you ready to hear about blue bachelor? 167 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,280 I guess. 168 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,000 So what do you think he is like? 169 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:07,560 Like what's your first impression of him just by the gift? 170 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,040 That he's a dog. 171 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,040 I don't know. 172 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,040 A blue dog. 173 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,040 I don't know if he could be. 174 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,040 I don't know. 175 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:20,080 Well, let's learn a little bit more about him. 176 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:25,200 So this year, I researched different cryptids. 177 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,000 They all happen to be from Oregon. 178 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,000 Really? 179 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,000 Yes. 180 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,480 And a couple of them I found in the Weird Oregon book. 181 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:40,080 I also use the Oregon Ghosts and Monsters by Mike Helm that we used for the Lithia Park 182 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,080 episode. 183 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,080 And I forgot where it was going. 184 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,160 Oh, yeah. 185 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:51,520 So the chapter in the Weird Oregon book is called Beaver State Beasts. 186 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,520 Interesting. 187 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,640 The theme of this cryptidating in Beaver State Beasts. 188 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,160 He's not a beaver though, right? 189 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:02,280 Like a blue beaver is probably just a little bit. 190 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,280 I don't know about that. 191 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,040 Well, they're all under the category of Beaver State Beasts. 192 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,680 So I don't think this one is specifically a beaver, but who knows? 193 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:10,680 Okay. 194 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,880 Let's find out. 195 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:18,160 So I got all of the research for these guys and I kind of put together bullet points 196 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,440 for their personality. 197 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,200 So they're traits or things about them. 198 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:29,600 And then I asked the lovely ChatGPT to create dating profiles for each of them. 199 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,000 Oh, boy. 200 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:37,920 With a little trial and error, a little finagling, a little fix and shed on my part, we have 201 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:41,920 three full dating profiles for these men. 202 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,240 Oh, boy. 203 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,240 And or women. 204 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,520 We don't know. 205 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:51,400 So first, blue bachelor, username, waterwanderer1890. 206 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:56,400 All of these are clues. 207 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,400 Oh, yeah. 208 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:01,640 I felt like I was picking up on something with that. 209 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:04,320 And honestly, they're so, they're not really well known. 210 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:08,120 So I don't think you're going to be able to like guess any of them, but it's just like clues 211 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,280 for you to kind of like figure out who you want to choose at the end. 212 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,280 Okay. 213 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,280 Yeah. 214 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,280 Okay. 215 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,280 Location. 216 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,400 Forked Mountain Lake. 217 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,240 I've never even heard of that. 218 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:20,560 We'll talk about it. 219 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:21,320 Okay. 220 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,320 So his about me section. 221 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,320 Yeah. 222 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,320 I have to read a lot. 223 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,320 So I apologize. 224 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:32,120 I'll try to do my best. 225 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:35,520 Salutations, wanders of the murky depths. 226 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:36,520 Depths. 227 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,520 Why does it always a TH and S? 228 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,120 I, you know, they're a challenge for all of us. 229 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,120 I can't. 230 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,720 Murky depths. 231 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,920 Depths. 232 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:53,320 I am a seasoned soul as old as these ancient waters I call home. 233 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,520 My affinity for water runs deep. 234 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,920 I was like, oooo ChatGPT dad joke? 235 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:03,000 The waters run deep deep. 236 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:07,040 As does my connection to the earth and all of its mysteries. 237 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:13,920 My serpentine form glides effortlessly through the cool embrace of the murky depths. 238 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,920 It says depths again. 239 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:25,920 My skin is adorned with spots that mirror the speckled beauty of the lake's surface. 240 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:26,920 Okay. 241 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:30,440 Long spotted horns crown my head. 242 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:38,400 A testament to my age and the wisdom acquired over the centuries of existence. 243 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:46,400 With four powerful, hairless legs, I navigate this watery realm with grace and precision. 244 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,960 My sinewy body adorned. 245 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,360 They like the word adorned. 246 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:58,000 Adorned with various items tied securely, much like your human cargo pants, enabling me 247 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:03,040 to carry my possessions as I roam the boggy expanse that I call home. 248 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,040 Okay. 249 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:08,880 Well, so ChatGPT hasn't really caught on to the fact that most women are like not 250 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:14,000 super into the cargo pants, but well, I added that. 251 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:20,320 Because he has several adorned with various items tied to his body. 252 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,520 I feel like he might need some cargo pants. 253 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:24,520 Yeah. 254 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:28,760 I mean, honestly, he sounds like he could use a vany pack as well. 255 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:34,480 I cannot, I just cannot get over like the sheer weirdness. 256 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:35,480 Yeah. 257 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,680 Like the vibe is very, it's because I'm biting my lip because that's something I always 258 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,160 do when I'm just like really uncomfortable. 259 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:46,960 I'm like the four hairless legs. 260 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:51,240 No, puppies have hairy legs. 261 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,360 My Valentine has four paws or legs. 262 00:10:54,360 --> 00:11:00,680 Beneath the surface of my mysterious exterior lies a heart that beats with a primal passion 263 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:03,600 for drowning in brutality. 264 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:09,000 Traits that may seem daunting to some, but are simply a reflection of my deep connection 265 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,760 to the untamed wilderness that surrounds me. 266 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:13,760 Okay. 267 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:20,320 Well, I mean, that just sounds like they all have their faults. 268 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:21,920 Yeah, they're cryptids. 269 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:22,920 Sure. 270 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,120 Gotta pick the best of the worst. 271 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,520 Okay. 272 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:32,880 I find solace in the tranquility of water where the chaos of the world above fades away, 273 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:38,000 leaving only the rhythmic ebb and flow of the currents to guide me. 274 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000 Okay. 275 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,000 I can relate to that. 276 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,000 Yeah. 277 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,000 See, yeah. 278 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000 Relatable. 279 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:47,200 Well, my reputation may precede me like Taylor Swift. 280 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:51,640 I harbor no illusions about the nature of my desires. 281 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,840 I neither want nor like the company of children. 282 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:55,840 Oh, okay. 283 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:56,840 Yeah. 284 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:57,840 See? 285 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:58,840 All right. 286 00:11:58,840 --> 00:11:59,840 All right. 287 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:05,680 Preferring the companionship of my loyal pack of spotted dogs, creatures as wild and untamed 288 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:07,280 as the swamp itself. 289 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,280 All right. 290 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,280 I mean, okay. 291 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,280 So I'm coming around. 292 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,280 Got dogs. 293 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:13,680 Pack of spotted dogs. 294 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:14,680 Yeah. 295 00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:18,520 I think on that little guy's ears has like little heart spots on the head. 296 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,520 He's a little tight spot. 297 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:21,520 So, yeah. 298 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,520 That'll be an interesting tidbit for later about these gifts. 299 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,320 Okay. 300 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,760 What I'm looking for. 301 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:28,760 Okay. 302 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,160 I seek a companion who shares my love of the depths. 303 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,760 Fucking goddammit ChatGPT 304 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:36,760 I'm a human. 305 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:40,800 Just say the deep of the deep of the deep. 306 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:47,000 I seek a companion who shares my love of the deeps and understands the darkness that 307 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,400 lies within. 308 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,400 Oh, oh boy. 309 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,400 Oh boy. 310 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,400 Yeah. 311 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,600 That was you stole my thought. 312 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:59,880 Someone who is unafraid to embrace the brutality of nature and revel in the untamed beauty 313 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:00,880 of the bog. 314 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,720 A lot about untamed beauty here. 315 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:03,720 Yeah. 316 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:11,520 While I may be ancient and inigmatic, I am not without desire and I long for a connection 317 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:15,360 that transcends the boundaries of time and space. 318 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,360 Oh. 319 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:21,960 If you're brave enough to navigate these treacherous waters of my world and embrace the wilderness 320 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:28,320 that lies within, then join me on a journey of discovery unlike any other. 321 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:36,000 Together, we will explore the hidden depths of the bog in unearthed its darkest secrets, 322 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:40,080 orging a bond that will withstand the test of time. 323 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,080 Okay. 324 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,120 I'm not really sure I'm ready for that. 325 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,960 Like, he's ready for a commitment. 326 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:46,960 Like, okay. 327 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,160 That feels like a lot. 328 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,840 Um, I think they all are, to be honest. 329 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:55,280 They're all like all in great. 330 00:13:55,280 --> 00:14:01,440 Um, I don't know how this all plays into my current engagement. 331 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,840 Like I'm kind of tied up with that. 332 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,360 Maybe I can take a number and. 333 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:07,360 Yeah. 334 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,240 These are for, these are for after the wedding. 335 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:15,120 If you, if you change your mind, they'll be waiting in the wings. 336 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,560 Oh, no. 337 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:19,360 No, we know Caitlyn is taken. 338 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:20,360 She's not single. 339 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,360 This is just for fun. 340 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,240 Maybe I should do this one day, go to the cryptid dating game. 341 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:30,360 Maybe next year, I'll just do it for myself and I won't even be here. 342 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,360 Okay. 343 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,440 Are you ready to move on to the next Bachelor? 344 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,440 I think so. 345 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,440 Okay. 346 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,440 We're going to go yellow, Bachelor. 347 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:39,440 Yellow. 348 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,840 Spatchler number yellow. 349 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:46,840 I have a yellow sucker. 350 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,000 You've got to read the Valentine attached. 351 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,840 You're the bees, Nez. 352 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:51,840 Oh. 353 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:56,000 Oh, fresh. 354 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,200 Okay. 355 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,440 Let's see. 356 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:05,320 The shape that I'm detecting in my hands was making me a little nervous. 357 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:06,320 Not at all though. 358 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,320 Yeah, it was making me a little nervous. 359 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:09,320 Oh. 360 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,320 Oh, oh, oh. 361 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,320 Yohohoh in a bottle of rum. 362 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,320 Captain Morgan, interesting. 363 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,320 Spiced rum. 364 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,320 Wow. 365 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:21,240 I don't think it's going to pair very well with this rosé, but we will find, we'll find a home 366 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,240 for you, sir. 367 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,240 Oh, yeah. 368 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,240 Get in my belly. 369 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,240 I think that needs to go in the altar. 370 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,240 Oh, yeah. 371 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,240 Oh, my goodness. 372 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:33,040 Oh, another paddle. 373 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:37,480 Another paddle, but this one says caution shark zone. 374 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,480 Oh, what's that mean? 375 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,680 I, that's exactly. 376 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,920 Yeah, that would be my very first all-a-love question. 377 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:45,920 Okay. 378 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:46,920 Okay. 379 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,920 Captain Morgan and shark zone. 380 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,640 Hmm, who's this guy? 381 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,640 Oh, a year of date night idea. 382 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:56,640 Wow. 383 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,560 He's very confident. 384 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,040 I mean, that's pretty presumptuous. 385 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,040 Yeah. 386 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:06,600 If I may say so myself, I feel like if you turn it to the backside of the jar, you can see 387 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,600 that beach day. 388 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,600 Beach day. 389 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:10,600 Is one of them. 390 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,240 Yeah, they all have different, cute dates on them. 391 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:18,320 I feel like he was wanting to maybe get you one of the different sex positions every night, 392 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:21,800 but he just, he felt like that might be inappropriate. 393 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,600 So we settled for this jar of. 394 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,600 Yeah, fun dates. 395 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,600 Good call. 396 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:28,600 Good call. 397 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,600 That would be a bit over the top. 398 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:31,600 Okay. 399 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:36,240 Do you want to hear about yellow badge? 400 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,440 You know I do. 401 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:39,760 User name. 402 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,800 Moonlitmystery69. 403 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:42,800 Okay. 404 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:43,800 Location. 405 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,800 Melrose. 406 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,800 Hmm. 407 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,120 About me. 408 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,760 Howdy, Denizens of the Night. 409 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,640 I am the shadow that haunts the streets of Melrose. 410 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:58,040 A creature of darkness with a penchant for the macabre. 411 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,040 Macabre. 412 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,040 Macabre. 413 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,040 Yeah. 414 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,040 Macabre. 415 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,040 Macabre. 416 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,040 It just has all those extra letters that get confused. 417 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,040 Macabre. 418 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,040 Macabre. 419 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,040 Macabre. 420 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,040 Macabre. 421 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,040 Macabre. 422 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,040 Macabre. 423 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,040 Macabre. 424 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:17,040 With each soft padded football, I weave through the Moonlit streets. 425 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:23,160 My stubby clawed be emitting an eerily gentle, pitter-patter that echoes through the silence 426 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,160 of the night. 427 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,160 Okay. 428 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,160 Well, I like a man who gets a pedicure. 429 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,400 So, hey, I mean, he'd have silent footballs. 430 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,800 So his little clickity clocks aren't that loud. 431 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:34,800 And that's what it is. 432 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,400 But they're like, they're probably shaped because they're not clickity-clack. 433 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,800 And you know, okay. 434 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,400 I assume he says that they're silent footballs. 435 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,400 Okay. 436 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,680 But I have a little pitter-patter. 437 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,680 I think of like a duck. 438 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:47,680 Yeah. 439 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:48,680 Yeah. 440 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,680 Oh, which is yellow in cartoons. 441 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:53,680 Oh, it is. 442 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:54,680 Is he a duck? 443 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:55,680 I don't know. 444 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:56,680 I don't know. 445 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:03,600 Standing at a modest three to four feet tall, although I don't have the best posture, I 446 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,680 make up for it by being completely bald from head to toe. 447 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,680 Okay. 448 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,680 Someone gets a wax. 449 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,680 Er, something. 450 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,680 My long slender arms boast six fingered hands. 451 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,680 No. 452 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:23,680 Perfect for exploring the mysteries of the night. 453 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:24,680 Oh, God. 454 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,680 Oh, God. 455 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:30,520 I embrace my uniqueness with pride. 456 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:37,360 I am so happy for you, but I have to ask you to leave. 457 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:38,800 We're not done yet. 458 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:39,800 Okay. 459 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:45,640 I am unafraid and ever curious, studying the world around me through bulging, glowing red 460 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,400 eyes that mirror the captivating allure of the full moon. 461 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,160 He's a full moon guy. 462 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,000 We like those. 463 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,400 Yeah. 464 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:59,800 I find solace and fascination in its celestial presence. 465 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:07,000 There's nothing quite like basking in its radiant light, soaking in its mystique as it illuminates 466 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,800 the world below. 467 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:09,800 Okay. 468 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:16,880 In the quiet hours of the night, you'll often find me indulging in my guilty pleasure, savoring 469 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,880 a fine bottle of Captain Morgan Rum. 470 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:20,880 Oh, okay. 471 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,280 I feel like that explains a lot. 472 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:24,280 Yeah. 473 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,280 He's a fan. 474 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,280 Okay. 475 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,480 There's something about its rich, smooth flavor that tantalizes my senses and adds a dash 476 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,280 of adventure to my nocturnal escapades. 477 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:34,280 Oh. 478 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,280 Well, yeah. 479 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,800 I bet you're not the only one that feels that way. 480 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:43,880 I am a creature of the night shrouded in mystery and steeped in the unknown. 481 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,680 Oh, boy. 482 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,200 What I'm looking for. 483 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,760 I seek a companion who shares my love of the darkness and isn't afraid to embrace the 484 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:53,760 unknown. 485 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,760 Okay. 486 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:59,280 So I think this is, you know, clearly the bachelor for you. 487 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,280 Yeah, maybe. 488 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,760 You should have given you a blindfold. 489 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,680 I feel like the unknown darkness. 490 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,680 Yeah. 491 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:09,440 I'm sure someone who can appreciate the eerie beauty of the night and isn't deterred 492 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,800 by the whispers of the shadows. 493 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,800 Okay. 494 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,800 Well, I whisper me. 495 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,200 So deterred well before I ever heard that. 496 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:22,160 Like, there's so much deterrent. 497 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:28,160 Whether it's engaging in deep conversations under the moonlit sky or embarking on spontaneous 498 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:33,720 adventures through the darkened streets of Melrose, I crave a connection that transcends 499 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,440 the ordinary. 500 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:41,880 While I may be a creature of the night, my desires are simple to find solace in the company 501 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:45,400 of another who understands the darkness that lies within. 502 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,040 I feel like the last guy said that too. 503 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:54,120 If you're intrigued by the whispers of the night and unafraid to dance in the moonlight, 504 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:59,240 then let's embark on a journey of discovery together with his fingers. 505 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:00,240 No. 506 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,240 It's too many. 507 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:08,720 Who knows what secrets we might uncover in the shadows? 508 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:09,720 I... 509 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,240 Yeah, I think I'm out. 510 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,840 That's a no for me, dog. 511 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:13,840 I don't know. 512 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:14,840 Yellow. 513 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,480 Obviously, she's not going to pick you. 514 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,040 I'll hit you up after this. 515 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,040 Okay. 516 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,040 Sounds like a plan. 517 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,040 I'm dead. 518 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,840 This is so fun. 519 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:28,480 I feel like these bachelors maybe went through the same writing service. 520 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:29,480 I... 521 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:30,480 Yeah. 522 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:31,480 Kind of seems like it. 523 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,280 Okay, we're on to Bachelor number red. 524 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,080 All right. 525 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,080 Red batch. 526 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,080 Red batch. 527 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,080 All right. 528 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,400 Ooh. 529 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,720 I do like this. 530 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,760 It's a red sucker and it says, "You're those worthy." 531 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,760 Ooh, yeah, you are. 532 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,760 Yeah. 533 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:52,760 Okay. 534 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:53,760 Let's see. 535 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:54,760 Let's see. 536 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:55,760 Ear plugs. 537 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:56,760 Oh, interesting. 538 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:57,760 What are we doing? 539 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:04,760 I mean, in this house, are you kidding? 540 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:09,560 Do you think he snores too? 541 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,600 That he really buzzes like, is he a bug? 542 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:13,600 I don't know. 543 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,600 Because you know how I feel about that. 544 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,600 I don't know. 545 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:17,600 I don't know these guys. 546 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,120 I'm meeting him for the first time too. 547 00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:25,000 These are your friends and I think you need to take some accountability here. 548 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,000 I'm not responsible for any of these men. 549 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,160 Oh, another paddle. 550 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,160 It says, "Sweet." 551 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,160 Oh, very cute. 552 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:37,160 Cute. 553 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,760 He must be a sweet guy. 554 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,720 And this says, "Wild about you." 555 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,840 Seventeen animals said, "I love you." 556 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:50,480 And it's cute little penguins in the shape of a heart weight. 557 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,440 They're little by-by penguins. 558 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,440 So cute. 559 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,000 Oh, it has a little bookmark. 560 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,000 It does. 561 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,000 Oh, don't think I didn't notice. 562 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,000 Oh, pandas. 563 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,000 Oh, my God. 564 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,000 And he even looks. 565 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,000 Oh, my God. 566 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,640 It's not bookmarked to the panda, but that's on the page before the bookmark. 567 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:12,480 I can't bear to be without you. 568 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,480 Oh, it's so sweet. 569 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,480 Oh. 570 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:16,480 Okay. 571 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:21,920 I'm assuming I'm supposed to look at the bookmarked page. 572 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,920 Yes, the bookmarked page, yeah. 573 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,640 One with the actual bookmark on it. 574 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,640 Oh, boy. 575 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,640 All right. 576 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,640 Bananas for you. 577 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,520 Oh, is it a monkey? 578 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,520 He's some sort of a primate. 579 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:35,520 Yeah. 580 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:36,520 Interesting. 581 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:37,520 Okay. 582 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:38,520 Not a primate expert. 583 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,320 He's a primate. 584 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,320 He's a primate. 585 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:45,480 Well, maybe that says something about Red Batch. 586 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:46,480 Oh, boy. 587 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,240 You ready to hear about him? 588 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,560 I'm as ready as I'm going to be, I think. 589 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:54,280 User name, InfiniteFlix8. 590 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,520 Location, Conser lake. 591 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,160 Are you sure these are real places? 592 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,160 We're all well talk about it. 593 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,160 The end. 594 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:02,160 All right. 595 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:07,400 So, username - InfiniteFlix8 596 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,080 Greetings, fellow seekers of tranquility. 597 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:11,080 Oh. 598 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:12,960 My name is Flix. 599 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:19,440 A solitary soul haunted by the shadows of the forest and the whispers of the water. 600 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:25,880 With the heart as sensitive as the depths of the lake, I navigate the world with caution, 601 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,240 ever wary of the dangers that lurk in the darkness. 602 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,240 Yeah. 603 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:31,760 That sounds about right. 604 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:32,760 We are women. 605 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:33,760 We get it. 606 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:34,760 Yeah. 607 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,720 Like, even, it doesn't even have to be dark. 608 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,960 Like, dusk is still like a hyalur. 609 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:39,960 Yeah. 610 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:40,960 Sometimes even daylight. 611 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:41,960 Yeah. 612 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,960 My paranoia of being hunted echoes through the trees. 613 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:50,200 A constant reminder of the fragility of life in the wild. 614 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,200 My goodness. 615 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,200 Yeah. 616 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,200 She's deep. 617 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,200 Wow. 618 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,200 Wow. 619 00:24:55,200 --> 00:25:02,560 I harbor a deep aversion to guns and loud sounds, preferring the tranquility of nature 620 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:06,080 symphony to the cacophony of mankind. 621 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:07,080 Oh. 622 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,080 I mean, same. 623 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,640 Maybe that's the earplugs. 624 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:15,080 I kind of thought maybe or maybe it's something else we'll see. 625 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:21,400 My cat-like ears twitch at the slightest disturbance attuned to the subtle rhythms of the forest 626 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,560 and the gentle laughing of the waves against the shore. 627 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:28,920 Are you sure you're not just describing me in my bloodhound? 628 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,200 Maybe you guys are so nice. 629 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:32,200 No. 630 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,520 Maybe you're meant to be. 631 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:34,520 All right. 632 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:40,920 My wide webbed duck-like feet carrying me with ease through the marshy terrain. 633 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:41,920 You know, it's funny. 634 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:48,120 Sometimes I'm just know from the start and then sometimes I'm like, okay, okay, okay. 635 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:51,240 You had me and now you lost me. 636 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:52,240 He just has wide feet. 637 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:53,240 It's not his fall. 638 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,240 He just has to buy wider shoes. 639 00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:00,440 Oh, okay. 640 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:07,960 His wide webbed duck-like feet carry him through the ease of the marshy terrain, leaving 641 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:14,480 behind a trail of squishing footsteps as I move with the grace of a silent predator propelled 642 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,760 by the innate ability to run at incredible speeds. 643 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:19,760 Okay. 644 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:24,720 Well, that's where we part ways because that's not a thing that I do. 645 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:25,720 Maybe you can carry you though. 646 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:26,720 Like Edward. 647 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:27,720 Yeah. 648 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:33,360 I literally watched Twilight last night while I was doing this. 649 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,360 You would. 650 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:37,360 Nerd and lame. 651 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:38,360 No. 652 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:39,360 I loved it. 653 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,360 Me too. 654 00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:41,360 Obviously. 655 00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:48,000 Though my shaggy white firm may blend seamlessly with the mist that hangs over the lake, my presence 656 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:53,800 is betrayed by the strong smell of soggy lake monster that clings to me like a shadow. 657 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,160 Yeah, that'll do it. 658 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,120 Maybe the earplugs can go up your nose too. 659 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,120 Yeah. 660 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:06,640 I mean, I've told you stories and maybe even on this podcast, I can't remember for sure, 661 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:12,600 but things that I have put in my nose when I was working in a gentle office too. 662 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,120 Lip gloss works really well. 663 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:18,280 I had glittery lip gloss from Victoria's Secret. 664 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,680 So like, I mean, I've got some, I've got some tactics of your nose. 665 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,680 Yeah, I've put it in my nose. 666 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:24,680 Oh, yeah. 667 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:25,680 Oh, God. 668 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,960 Yeah, you might, you might have to use some of those tactics. 669 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:28,960 Okay. 670 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:36,160 Despite my imposing nature of seven feet tall and weight of approximately 400 pounds, I am 671 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,400 a gentle soul at heart. 672 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:45,840 Though my high pitch cry described as, "Fleep, flu, leap, flu, leap." 673 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,320 May startle the uninitiated. 674 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:53,640 It is merely a means of communication in a world that often fails to understand my telepathic 675 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:54,640 nature. 676 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,720 I mean, well, yeah, not everybody is telepathic. 677 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:58,720 Right. 678 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,520 I mean, they could be if they tried. 679 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:06,120 So maybe, maybe if you put the earplugs in and you don't get to hear the flip-flip 680 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:10,520 "Fleep," maybe you'll hear him in your head. 681 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:11,520 I like that. 682 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:12,520 I don't know. 683 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:13,520 Yeah. 684 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:14,520 Could be a thing. 685 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:15,520 Ooh. 686 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:21,880 I am a creature of curiosity, yearning for connection and understanding in a universe that 687 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,960 seems vast and indifferent. 688 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:24,960 Okay. 689 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:25,960 Can't do whatever. 690 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:26,960 That's great. 691 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:27,960 Wow. 692 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,360 Yeah. 693 00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:36,040 What I'm looking for in this vast expanse of stars and shadows, I seek a kinder 694 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:42,760 spirit, someone who can see beyond the surface and embrace the beauty of the unknown. 695 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:48,560 I am drawn to those who possess an open mind and a compassionate heart, individuals who 696 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:56,720 are not quick to judge, but eager to explore the depths of the all of these dudes and the 697 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:57,720 fucking depths. 698 00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:58,720 Okay. 699 00:28:58,720 --> 00:28:59,720 I'm just deep in their depths. 700 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,720 I'm just listening. 701 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,640 Like, do you think that's deep? 702 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:05,640 Are you in the depths? 703 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,640 Are you rolling in the deep? 704 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:08,640 Jesus Christ. 705 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:18,240 This is why you don't use ChatGPT to write everything you use because it's all the same. 706 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:22,560 Individuals who are not quick to judge, but eager to explore the depths of existence with 707 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:23,560 me. 708 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:24,560 That's a lot. 709 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,320 Well, I may be solitary by nature. 710 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:33,240 I long for a connection that transcends the boundaries of solitude and offers solace in 711 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:34,760 the embrace of another. 712 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:39,080 Oh, I feel like that was a sentence of nonsense. 713 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,080 Yeah. 714 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,080 Nonsense. 715 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,520 I feel like did they take that? 716 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:52,400 Like, is chat Gpt just spilling out like Nancy Brophy romance novel nonsense or like using 717 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:57,200 politician like sentences where they just circle back around to the same things? 718 00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:01,640 It's kind of a little bit of a word salad type of a situation. 719 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:07,640 It's supposed to be like a seductive word salad. 720 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:12,280 If you are brave enough to venture into the depths of the unknown and curious enough to 721 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:18,200 unravel the mysteries of the cosmos alongside me, then let us embark on a journey of discovery 722 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,360 together. 723 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,880 Who knows what wonders we may find in the stars? 724 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:23,880 In the stars. 725 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:27,880 Oh, also I quite enjoy mint. 726 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,600 I mean same. 727 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,520 Just a random fact. 728 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:33,520 That's fine. 729 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:39,920 It's a fact that someone forgot to add into the descriptions and had to add it at the end. 730 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,400 I like a fun fact. 731 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:42,400 You know? 732 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,640 Okay, let's cheers and then you can go through your options of men. 733 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:47,640 Okay. 734 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:53,080 Is it going to be contestant red, yellow or blue? 735 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,240 I read them in the wrong order. 736 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:59,000 Is it going to be contestant blue, yellow or red? 737 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:06,000 Which color sucker are you going to be sucking on tonight? 738 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,000 Yeah. 739 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:17,080 Well, listen, if they could just make all colors, like are all suckers, like with no color residue 740 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,800 for your mouth, that would be ideal. 741 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:26,360 But until that day, I'd probably do the red one. 742 00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,000 And that's not to say that I'm choosing red. 743 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,600 I was like, you can't choose based on the color. 744 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:31,600 No. 745 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:37,720 Okay, so it was blue, yellow and then red was the last, right? 746 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:38,720 Okay. 747 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,240 So here's the deal. 748 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:45,760 I really liked my present from blue. 749 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:50,880 Like if it was just based on my favorite gift, it would probably be blue. 750 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:51,880 Okay. 751 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,320 Although it's a tough one. 752 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:56,280 Because let's see. 753 00:31:56,280 --> 00:32:01,480 I mean, I do also, I like a gift of alcohol that's always a solid choice. 754 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:04,160 You know, that's sort of like giving someone cash. 755 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,120 You can't really go wrong with that. 756 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:09,560 But fun fact, you get to keep all the gifts no matter who you choose. 757 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:10,560 Right. 758 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:11,560 Yeah. 759 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,320 So you've got to go based on personality, the gifts were just extra. 760 00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:18,760 No, I know, but I feel like it's telling me a little bit about them. 761 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:25,760 So, you know, and then obviously a book, because I mean, and this book, are you kidding? 762 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:26,760 Or an alert? 763 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,160 Oh, well, yeah. 764 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,440 Like you didn't already know. 765 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:32,920 Okay. 766 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,080 I feel like, I don't know. 767 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,280 Do you want to read me their user names again? 768 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,040 Like I really am torn. 769 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:44,720 I really, I couldn't tell you exactly what I want to do. 770 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:50,880 User name for blue was waterwanderer1890. 771 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:51,880 Yeah. 772 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,720 That's a little too old timey for my taste. 773 00:32:55,720 --> 00:33:01,160 Yellows was MoonlitMystery69. 774 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,000 And I think we all know how I feel about that. 775 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,440 Yeah, he was a dark mysterious one. 776 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:07,440 Yeah. 777 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:12,040 And Reds was InfiniteFlix8. 778 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,800 I do like the number 8. 779 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,280 It's an infinity sign. 780 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:17,280 It is. 781 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:18,280 Yeah. 782 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:25,680 I feel like, yeah, I feel like this last one, I feel like red is, I'm getting a feeling. 783 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:31,320 You know, I felt that for you as we were going through these and as I was reading them for 784 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:35,360 the first time that this might be the guy for you. 785 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,160 So are you ready to see who these men are? 786 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:41,120 Yes, please. 787 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:46,640 Let me read this excerpt from the Weird Oregon book, the Beaver State Beasts section. 788 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:47,640 Okay. 789 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,400 Before I tell you who you chose. 790 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,160 All right. 791 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,960 This is a quote directly from the book. 792 00:33:53,960 --> 00:34:03,880 According to our research, 2.4% of organs, 98,466 square miles is water. 793 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,480 So 2.4% of that is water. 794 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:07,760 Oh, well. 795 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:11,160 That may not sound like a lot, but do the math. 796 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:12,160 Yeah, do this math. 797 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:13,160 Do the math. 798 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:14,160 Okay. 799 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:22,480 It amounts to more than 2,363 square miles of rivers, lakes, reservoirs and for butares. 800 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,680 Yeah, tributary. 801 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:25,680 Some sort of water. 802 00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:26,680 It's fine. 803 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:27,680 It's water. 804 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:33,600 And that's not counting organs 260 mile coast. 805 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:40,040 Oh, Oregon has plenty of water to sustain a healthy amount of aquatic life, which begs 806 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,080 the question we're floating here. 807 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:49,880 Does all this water contain only familiar fish and reptiles or does some of it hide other 808 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:50,880 things? 809 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,120 I'm going to go like yes. 810 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:54,120 Yes, it does. 811 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,760 It hides your bachelor. 812 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:57,760 Bachelor red. 813 00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:58,760 Was it right? 814 00:34:58,760 --> 00:34:59,760 Right. 815 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,600 Bachelor red is the Conser Lake Monster. 816 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,000 Okay. 817 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,720 Where is Conser lake? 818 00:35:05,720 --> 00:35:06,720 Yeah. 819 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:08,480 Where is it though? 820 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,760 So I, yeah, tried to look it up. 821 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,320 Couldn't find it. 822 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:17,400 But the book does say it's an Albany in the Millersburg area. 823 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,400 But there's a bunch of little lakes on the map right there. 824 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,360 None of them with that name. 825 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:28,360 So I assume maybe they just don't call it that anymore or something, but it was in a paper. 826 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,320 It was in an old newspaper article. 827 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:31,320 Okay. 828 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,320 Yeah. 829 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:33,320 So it's like an old-timey name. 830 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:34,320 Yeah. 831 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:35,320 Yeah. 832 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:37,320 So where does he get his name? 833 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:38,320 Flix. 834 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:39,320 Yeah. 835 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:45,880 And his telepathic nature, his hurt no one means no harm lonely attitude. 836 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,560 This all comes from one person's story. 837 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:49,560 Oh. 838 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:54,120 Someone wrote a story about her psychic friend's experience. 839 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:55,120 Oh. 840 00:35:55,120 --> 00:36:02,360 And her experience was basically that she heard the concert lake monster in her head. 841 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:07,840 Speaking telepathically to her saying that he's an alien, his name is Flix. 842 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:09,160 He, you know, means no harm. 843 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,440 Doesn't want to hurt anyone. 844 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:11,600 He's very lonely. 845 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,080 He just wants company. 846 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:17,720 No one can hear him because he talks telepathically. 847 00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:18,720 Okay. 848 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:19,720 Yeah. 849 00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:21,120 Hmm. 850 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:26,760 And then his paranoia of being hunted and not like in guns and loud sounds. 851 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,200 So a lot of people tried to hunt him down. 852 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,600 Lots of shooting going on in the area. 853 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:38,520 Actually the article in the newspaper was about two boys being shot at when they were just 854 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:39,520 trying to fish. 855 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:40,520 Oh no. 856 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:44,200 Like someone thought that they were Flix. 857 00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:45,200 Okay. 858 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:50,240 Well, listen, old timey people shooting at literally anything they see. 859 00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:52,600 Anything that moves in the bush. 860 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:53,600 Um, yeah. 861 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:58,000 We just probably need to take save, we're all see not safe. 862 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,000 No. 863 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,840 If you can tell from the description, he's pretty sensitive. 864 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,440 He's also easily offended. 865 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:07,440 Oh no. 866 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:08,440 Yeah. 867 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:13,960 So the lady that talked to him telepathically said that he was offended that people call him 868 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:14,960 a monster. 869 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:15,960 Oh. 870 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:16,960 I mean, yeah. 871 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,880 I feel like that's understandable. 872 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:25,840 Also there's one story of some farmers who saw like a big white shape. 873 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:26,840 They shot at it. 874 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:27,840 They hit it. 875 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,000 But then they couldn't find it again. 876 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:36,200 And then the police were like, well, this other neighbor of yours lost its white cow. 877 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:40,280 So you probably shot the white cow and they were like, no, no, no. 878 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:41,280 Yeah. 879 00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:42,280 You're dick. 880 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:47,480 So I kind of thought that maybe he would also be offended that people were comparing him 881 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,000 to a cow. 882 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,960 They're just trying to relate him back to something that they understand. 883 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:53,960 Right. 884 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:54,960 Monsters and cows. 885 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:55,960 Monsters and cows. 886 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,840 He just flicks the alien. 887 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:06,480 So his description is, you know, he's seven feet tall, like 400 pounds. 888 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:10,080 He's got cat like ears, wide webbed duck like feet. 889 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:15,160 And he's kind of described like a primate with shaggy white fur. 890 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:16,160 Okay. 891 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:19,160 So that's where the monkey dude comes in. 892 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,160 Yeah. 893 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,160 He's a primate. 894 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:25,320 They also describe him as being kind of like an albino big foot. 895 00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:26,320 So interesting. 896 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:27,320 Yeah. 897 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:28,320 Okay. 898 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:35,360 So yeah, it does feel pretty appropriate or a bit of, but he does have the webbed feet. 899 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,000 So they do think he can like swim in the water too. 900 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,000 Yeah. 901 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,000 Yeah. 902 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:46,240 A group out in this area found gigantic webbed footprints that were six or seven feet 903 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,240 apart. 904 00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:48,600 So like a long stride. 905 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:52,400 But also the footprint itself was like three feet wide. 906 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:53,400 Wow. 907 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:54,400 Zers. 908 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:55,400 Yeah. 909 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:56,400 So those are pretty big. 910 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,200 I don't know how big big foot feet are usually. 911 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:00,320 I can't remember. 912 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,280 I feel like this is bigger. 913 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:04,280 This might be bigger. 914 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:05,280 Well bigger. 915 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:06,280 Free feet. 916 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:07,280 I don't know. 917 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:08,280 That's a lot. 918 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,280 That's a lot. 919 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,760 That's like half of my body. 920 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:15,720 More than half my body because I'm definitely not six feet tall. 921 00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:19,120 Just a fly eye. 922 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:24,800 And he was described as having kind of squishy footsteps because it's kind of a soggy 923 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:25,800 area too. 924 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:26,800 So sure. 925 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:27,800 Yeah. 926 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,200 And smelling kind of like a soggy like monster. 927 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:37,080 Well, listen, I love a dog and I love them even when they smell, you know, that doggy smell. 928 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:40,400 So I feel like he wasn't the dog one. 929 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:41,400 I know. 930 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:42,400 Okay. 931 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:43,400 I have dogs. 932 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:47,640 I can bring dogs to the table in this relationship. 933 00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,680 You don't you didn't choose the dog guy with. 934 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:50,680 I know. 935 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,080 I know my kids, which I'm shocked. 936 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,080 I honestly need to. 937 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:54,080 Me too. 938 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:55,080 Yeah. 939 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,800 Do you want to hear about the mint? 940 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:58,800 Yes. 941 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:08,400 A truck driver carrying some mint going about 35 miles an hour saw the Conser Lake Monster 942 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:15,080 run up beside his car or truck and like look at him and he was keeping pace with the car 943 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:16,080 or the truck. 944 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:17,360 Okay. 945 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:21,200 And he described him as looking curiously inside. 946 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:24,960 So my theory was that he just like really liked mint. 947 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:25,960 Yeah. 948 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,640 Or he maybe he wanted to cover up his soggy monster smell. 949 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,200 He really like listen. 950 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,200 He needs a drink at the end of the day. 951 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,200 A mojito sounds lovely. 952 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,200 Yeah. 953 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:41,000 So, you know, I think he was trying to get on some of that mint. 954 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,000 Yeah. 955 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:43,840 I'm about that. 956 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:49,840 In a group of teenagers were out one night and they saw the concert lake monster described 957 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:55,600 him as like out of this world like nothing from this world that they had ever seen. 958 00:40:55,600 --> 00:41:01,480 And he was uttering uttering like a row. 959 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:05,960 He was uttering a weird resonant cry which they described as. 960 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:06,960 Fleep. 961 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:07,960 Fleeoweep. 962 00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:08,960 Fleeoweep. 963 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:09,960 Fleeoweep. 964 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:10,960 Fleeoweep. 965 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:11,960 Ah. 966 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,160 Spot on impression. 967 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:20,760 Fleeoweep. 968 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:26,960 So that is your bachelor that you chose, the Conser lake monster. 969 00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:31,200 And would you like to know about the other two bachelor's that you didn't pick? 970 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,200 Yeah. 971 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:35,560 I mean, it's not too late to change my mind, right? 972 00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:36,560 Just in case. 973 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:37,560 Yeah, it's too late. 974 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:38,560 You can't change your mind. 975 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:39,560 Okay. 976 00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:40,720 Well, I first did about my choice to be honest. 977 00:41:40,720 --> 00:41:42,720 So, they'll take you back to use. 978 00:41:42,720 --> 00:41:44,960 We'll see. 979 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:51,720 So the blue bachelor is, Amhuluk The Water Dragon. 980 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:52,720 Okay. 981 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:53,720 All right. 982 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:54,720 Yeah, dragon. 983 00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:56,720 That's right at my alley. 984 00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:57,720 He's a dragon. 985 00:41:57,720 --> 00:41:58,720 Yeah. 986 00:41:58,720 --> 00:42:02,560 I guess he's also in Godzilla or something. 987 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,960 But I think it's like a different dude. 988 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,600 It's not the same guy. 989 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,040 This one is from a Kalapya legend. 990 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,040 Oh. 991 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:11,040 No. 992 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:15,040 So he is from Forked Lake Mountain. 993 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:16,040 Forked? 994 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,040 Get in Forked. 995 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:19,040 Forked. 996 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:28,640 A quote from jstore.org says Forked Mountain lies 15 miles west of Forest Grove. 997 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,440 Oh. 998 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:36,280 But I looked and I couldn't find anything called Forked Lake or anything there. 999 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,280 I don't even think there's particularly mountains. 1000 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:40,280 Right there. 1001 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:41,280 Okay. 1002 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:46,160 So, so Hagg Lake is eight miles west of there. 1003 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:50,480 Do you know if there's any mountains around Hagg Lake? 1004 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:51,480 What? 1005 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:52,480 Really? 1006 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,480 Not in my recollection. 1007 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,480 I don't know. 1008 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:59,160 And there is another lake a little bit further out. 1009 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:00,520 I didn't exactly map it. 1010 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:01,960 It could be like 15 miles. 1011 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,200 So anyway, it's supposed to be somewhere around there. 1012 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,200 Okay. 1013 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,600 But it says it's a mountain pool. 1014 00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,320 So like, you want to go for a drive. 1015 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:10,720 Maybe there used to be mountains there. 1016 00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:11,720 I don't know. 1017 00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:13,720 I got it. 1018 00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:16,040 They're gone now. 1019 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,320 Maybe it was like a really large hill and they called it. 1020 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:19,320 Yeah. 1021 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:24,120 I feel like, you know, perception is. 1022 00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,600 So obviously he lives in the lake. 1023 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,280 He is very old. 1024 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,120 His last sighting was in 1890. 1025 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,800 It's a last sighting. 1026 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:33,800 The last sighting. 1027 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:34,800 Wow. 1028 00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:35,800 Yeah. 1029 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,040 So that's where I got the 1890 in the username. 1030 00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:40,040 It makes sense. 1031 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,040 So he is a four-legged serpent. 1032 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,800 He is spotted with long horns on his head. 1033 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:46,600 And I wrote horny. 1034 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:47,600 Haha. 1035 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:48,600 Get it? 1036 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:49,600 Because he has horns. 1037 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:50,600 Yeah. 1038 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:51,720 I mean, he really has a lot going on. 1039 00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:56,800 And I literally put horny as one of the traits and chaffy ChatGPT just like totally 1040 00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:57,800 mortared. 1041 00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:58,800 They were like, no. 1042 00:43:58,800 --> 00:43:59,800 They're like, this is inappropriate. 1043 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,600 We don't, we don't talk about sex here. 1044 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,600 So fun fact. 1045 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:05,600 That's so funny. 1046 00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,640 Chris and I say that to each other all the time. 1047 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:08,640 That's inappropriate. 1048 00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,640 Haha. 1049 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:14,000 I just get like an answer back saying that's inappropriate. 1050 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,000 Yeah. 1051 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,000 No. 1052 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,000 Haha. 1053 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,680 His four legs are described as being hairless. 1054 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,880 Maybe so he can swim better because you know swimmers. 1055 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,120 They shave them legs. 1056 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,280 That's what I've heard. 1057 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:28,680 But he does have a passion for drowning brutality. 1058 00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,200 Drowning and brutality. 1059 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:31,200 I was like drowning. 1060 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:32,200 Drowning brutality. 1061 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:38,200 Like brutally drowning or like somehow drowning brutality. 1062 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,080 How do we do that? 1063 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:41,800 He likes to drown anything. 1064 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:42,800 I'll read you a quote. 1065 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,400 I feel like that doesn't vote what for me. 1066 00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:50,280 You know, that's also kind of the reason he doesn't like kids because there is a specific story 1067 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:51,280 about children. 1068 00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:52,280 Yeah. 1069 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:56,840 So good thing, you know, if you'd picked him that you don't want kids. 1070 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:57,840 Yeah. 1071 00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:58,840 Sounds like it. 1072 00:44:58,840 --> 00:44:59,840 You might drown them. 1073 00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:00,840 Okay. 1074 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,040 So this is a quote from a book of creatures.com. 1075 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:09,160 Drowning amulacse is captured and drowned in his lake. 1076 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:15,280 Even the trees around the lake have their crowns upside down around the lake and the sky 1077 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:18,880 itself is drowned in the muddy water. 1078 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:19,880 Okay. 1079 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,640 It's just all about fucking drown and shit. 1080 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:23,640 Yeah. 1081 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:27,920 I feel like that's, it's a little dark for my taste personally. 1082 00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:28,920 Yeah. 1083 00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,560 But he does have the several spotted dogs. 1084 00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:34,760 He loves his pack of spotted dogs. 1085 00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:39,640 And you know, he lives in that kind of slimy, boggy environment. 1086 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:40,640 So great. 1087 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:45,400 It's easier to drown things if they get stuck in the mud, you know? 1088 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:46,400 Totally. 1089 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:52,680 I mean, no, I don't know, but I feel okay about that. 1090 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,280 Are you ready for Bachelor number yellow? 1091 00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:56,280 Okay. 1092 00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,080 This is this is my favorite one. 1093 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:00,080 Really? 1094 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,080 Okay. 1095 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,080 His name is The Melrose Creep. 1096 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,080 Okay. 1097 00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,560 Where is Melrose? 1098 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:08,760 This one we actually know where it's at. 1099 00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:13,160 It's an unincorporated community outside of Roseburg, Oregon. 1100 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:14,160 Okay. 1101 00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:16,560 And that's 180 mils, I wrote. 1102 00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,040 180 miles south of Portland. 1103 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:20,720 Sure is. 1104 00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:23,680 So don't go there. 1105 00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:29,040 I, you know, never really been tempted to be honest. 1106 00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:34,120 I kind of wrote him to have like a creepy personality because it's in the name, you know? 1107 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:35,120 He's great. 1108 00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:36,120 Yeah. 1109 00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:37,120 Yeah. 1110 00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:38,760 I think that pretty much sums it up. 1111 00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,480 Do you want to know about the pitter-patter of his little feet? 1112 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:43,880 I do why? 1113 00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,520 I feel like you know me well enough to know. 1114 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:47,520 Do do I? 1115 00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:48,520 I think you do. 1116 00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:49,520 Okay. 1117 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:56,400 So the person who wrote the story and this whole story is in the Weird Oregon book, they 1118 00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,000 wrote quote, "I heard soft padded shuffles." 1119 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,520 And the footfalls behind me. 1120 00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,920 I looked all around before I saw it. 1121 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,800 The Melrose Creep. 1122 00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:11,560 And then towards the end of the story, he writes, "A few months later, I heard the eerie 1123 00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:16,200 pitter-patter of those damn little feet again." 1124 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,880 And the sighting happened at night under a full moon. 1125 00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:23,720 So I kind of assumed maybe he's nocturnal and really likes the full moon. 1126 00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:24,720 Okay. 1127 00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:27,440 Just hug your puppy. 1128 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:28,440 Okay. 1129 00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,920 I'm ready to hear about his description. 1130 00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:31,920 Okay. 1131 00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:32,920 Okay. 1132 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,480 I'm going to quote the book again. 1133 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:38,000 It was about three to four feet tall and hunched over. 1134 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:43,880 Had no hair, long arms with six fingered hands and stubby clawed feet. 1135 00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:49,680 It also had a very human-like head and bulging, glowing red eyes. 1136 00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:50,680 Okay. 1137 00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:51,680 Yeah. 1138 00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:55,520 Super attractive. 1139 00:47:55,520 --> 00:48:01,080 I do like the idea of being taller than someone, but yeah, I feel like there's got to be another 1140 00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:02,080 way. 1141 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:09,160 So I kind of got that he was kind of fearless from the story because he did say the Melrose 1142 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,200 creep seemed unafraid of him. 1143 00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:15,760 And he even started to approach him in the guy ran away. 1144 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,280 No, thank you. 1145 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,800 I just remembered I had a thing. 1146 00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:21,800 K-bye. 1147 00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:22,800 Bye. 1148 00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:23,800 Creep. 1149 00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,360 Do you want to hear the best part of the story? 1150 00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:27,360 Okay. 1151 00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:34,280 The person who wrote the story, Captain Morgan, stop it. 1152 00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:35,280 Stop it. 1153 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,640 So I'm going to show you in the book. 1154 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:40,760 There's two pictures. 1155 00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:45,120 This is the concert Lake Monster. 1156 00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,600 I mean, he's supposed to have white fur, but it's kind of dark. 1157 00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:48,600 So. 1158 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:49,600 Okay. 1159 00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:50,600 Yeah. 1160 00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:51,600 That's that boy. 1161 00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:53,080 Is that something? 1162 00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:55,520 This is The Melrose Creep. 1163 00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:56,520 Are you ready? 1164 00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:57,520 No. 1165 00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:00,520 Story by Captain Morgan. 1166 00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:01,520 Okay. 1167 00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:02,520 Oh my god. 1168 00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:03,520 It's cute. 1169 00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:04,520 It looks like a Gremlin. 1170 00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:05,520 I don't know. 1171 00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:06,520 He's got the bulging red eye. 1172 00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:07,520 It's airless body. 1173 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,520 I do not care for that at all. 1174 00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:10,520 It's hilarious. 1175 00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:20,800 I love that so much. 1176 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:21,800 Wow. 1177 00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:22,800 I'm touched. 1178 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:23,800 I'm touched. 1179 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:24,800 Yeah. 1180 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:26,200 So I think you got pretty lucky. 1181 00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:32,400 I mean, your guy is kind of scary looking, but that's just because he was in the dark, right? 1182 00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:34,600 So, you know, totally. 1183 00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:35,600 Yeah. 1184 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:39,840 I'm sure in broad daylight, it's totally fine. 1185 00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,240 I'm surprised you picked one so tall. 1186 00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:48,240 I, you know, it wasn't a lot of middle ground on this one. 1187 00:49:48,240 --> 00:49:49,240 Wow. 1188 00:49:49,240 --> 00:49:50,240 Okay. 1189 00:49:50,240 --> 00:49:54,560 Well, do you want to hear my little fun fact? 1190 00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:55,560 Okay. 1191 00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:56,560 Buying the gifts. 1192 00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:58,560 Obviously, I bought them, you guys. 1193 00:49:58,560 --> 00:49:59,560 What? 1194 00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:00,560 I know. 1195 00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:04,160 So, minus the rum and the earplugs. 1196 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:10,760 I got all of these gifts before I even did any research. 1197 00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:11,760 But how? 1198 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:12,760 I have no idea. 1199 00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:16,840 I just grabbed things and I was like, well, maybe this could work. 1200 00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,400 And it did. 1201 00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:20,400 Look at you. 1202 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:24,480 Obviously, like the details of the Captain Morgan, I didn't know. 1203 00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,240 And like the earplugs were like an after thing. 1204 00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:31,920 But all of the other things, I was like, wow, this thing I got fits with this person, the 1205 00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:37,560 four-legged shit, the spotted dogs, like, I even got that thing. 1206 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,960 And I was like, that's kind of creepy. 1207 00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:43,200 Maybe I don't know, but it's for the creepy guy. 1208 00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:47,120 I really want to check a few of these out. 1209 00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:48,120 Do it. 1210 00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:49,120 Pick one at rant. 1211 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:53,200 Pick one at random and that can be your date with what's his butt. 1212 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:54,200 Oh, boy. 1213 00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:55,200 Okay. 1214 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:56,200 Flix. 1215 00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:57,200 Oh! 1216 00:50:57,200 --> 00:51:01,040 Horse-drawn carriage, right. 1217 00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:03,840 I feel like he would be the one who'd like drawing the carriage. 1218 00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:05,600 Yes, he's so big. 1219 00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:09,840 Horse's can't pull him. 1220 00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:14,040 I also grabbed axe throwing. 1221 00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:17,280 Oh, that would have been a good one. 1222 00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:18,280 Yeah. 1223 00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:20,280 They're very, very cute. 1224 00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:21,280 Cute. 1225 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,200 Should we do some tarot? 1226 00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:25,200 I guess. 1227 00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,080 I kind of want to just look at these. 1228 00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:28,080 You can. 1229 00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:29,080 All shuffle. 1230 00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:37,360 As indie podcasters, we love to show our support of other awesome shows. 1231 00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:41,240 So stay tuned for the promo we've got to share with you this week. 1232 00:51:41,240 --> 00:51:42,640 Let's show them some love. 1233 00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:45,760 You can find their info in our show notes. 1234 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:52,240 This is That's So Fucked Up, a podcast about cult, murder and other fucked up stuff. 1235 00:51:52,240 --> 00:51:55,080 Like really, really fucked up stuff. 1236 00:51:55,080 --> 00:52:00,440 He tore out her heart, tied it to a rope and hung it on the wall. 1237 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:01,840 Fucking sharks? 1238 00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,600 Eight mark. 1239 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,600 Under the dinghy. 1240 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:09,480 After his dad dies, he fucking marries all his dad's wives. 1241 00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:10,480 Oh, yeah. 1242 00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:14,880 He like marries all his stepmoms. 1243 00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:17,200 I'm your host, Ashley Love Richards. 1244 00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,320 Find That So Fucked Up, anywhere you listen to podcasts. 1245 00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,400 That's Fucked Up. 1246 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:24,760 You guys were back. 1247 00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:25,920 And don't worry. 1248 00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:27,400 We did get more wine. 1249 00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:29,400 Well, of course. 1250 00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:38,040 Oh, here you go. 1251 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:41,200 This is the way to a girl's heart. 1252 00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:45,200 It's a binary to a. 1253 00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,920 Okay, I'm going to have you choose right for the middle. 1254 00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:48,920 Oh, yeah. 1255 00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:49,920 Four. 1256 00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:50,920 Four of us. 1257 00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:51,920 Okay. 1258 00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:53,920 It's got a cute ghost on it. 1259 00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:59,120 Three wine glasses on the ground and one in the clouds. 1260 00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:05,720 Which is basically the same as the visual on the traditional writer, Waitsmith's deck. 1261 00:53:05,720 --> 00:53:09,120 So let's look at this first before we read. 1262 00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:10,120 It's got blue on it. 1263 00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:11,960 It's cups water. 1264 00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:15,040 So he's like kind of in the water too. 1265 00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:16,040 Okay. 1266 00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:18,080 The lake, you know, all right. 1267 00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:19,160 Wait, he wasn't blue. 1268 00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:20,360 But the other guy was blue. 1269 00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:21,360 Yeah. 1270 00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:22,360 That you really like too. 1271 00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:23,360 Mm-hmm. 1272 00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:24,360 Okay. 1273 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:25,360 That's all I got. 1274 00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:26,360 Okay. 1275 00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:32,560 Our key words are withdrawal, rest, boredom and lack of inspiration. 1276 00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:38,680 The four of cups in the writer, Waitsmith and other decks depicts a lone person sitting 1277 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:40,920 beneath a tree. 1278 00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:45,400 Like, because they just haven't made it on to the cryptid dating game yet. 1279 00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:46,400 Yeah. 1280 00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,800 Well, these guys are lonely too. 1281 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:49,800 Yeah. 1282 00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:51,240 So what I'm saying. 1283 00:53:51,240 --> 00:53:56,480 The idea is that you've gone off on your own and aren't receiving what others hold out 1284 00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:58,800 to you at this time. 1285 00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:04,120 You may be withdrawing from your usual routine, work, friends, etc. 1286 00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:06,120 In order to get in touch with yourself. 1287 00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:09,520 This kind of sounds like Flix, he is lonely. 1288 00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:10,520 Yeah. 1289 00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:15,680 The upright four of cups symbolizes boredom and stagnation. 1290 00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:22,680 You're not satisfied with your life at this time, but lack the incentive to make changes. 1291 00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:26,840 You've detached emotionally from people and situations. 1292 00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,000 Aw, Flix. 1293 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:35,400 Sometimes this card indicates you've sacrificed happiness for security. 1294 00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:36,400 Aw. 1295 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:40,480 Yeah, the security of not like being shot at. 1296 00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:41,480 Yeah. 1297 00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:45,280 I mean, which doesn't feel like a tall ass, but you know, you can't find friends if like 1298 00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,520 you're worried about being hunted, you know? 1299 00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:49,040 True. 1300 00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:54,520 In a reading about money, this card can mean you're too attached to money and security, 1301 00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:58,480 perhaps at the expense of love and joy. 1302 00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:03,360 Perhaps you've prioritized money in the past and now seek meaning in other things. 1303 00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:08,800 I wonder if he has like his space job because he's like an alien, you know? 1304 00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:13,000 Oh, I wonder if his space job is to like study where he's at. 1305 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:14,000 Maybe. 1306 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:15,000 Yeah, I don't know. 1307 00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,600 I'm making money here and it keeps moving. 1308 00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:18,600 Yeah. 1309 00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:19,600 Theories. 1310 00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:21,600 I don't, you know? 1311 00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,440 You're wearing a UFO shirt too. 1312 00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:24,440 I am. 1313 00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:25,440 And you pick the alien guy. 1314 00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:26,440 I did. 1315 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,440 That's funny. 1316 00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:34,280 If the reading is about your job, you probably feel stuck and bored with your job. 1317 00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:43,880 You may long for more creativity and enjoyment, but if opted for security instead. 1318 00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:44,880 Not anymore flex. 1319 00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:45,880 Your problems are solved. 1320 00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:50,760 This is your new woman. 1321 00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:58,400 In a reading about love, the four shows you withdrawing affection and energy from a relationship. 1322 00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:03,680 Perhaps routine has slapped your enthusiasm. 1323 00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,600 Maybe that's more about you that part. 1324 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:07,600 I don't know. 1325 00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:08,600 Great. 1326 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,880 Thank you. 1327 00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:16,640 This card also symbolizes a relationship based on security rather than passion. 1328 00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:17,640 Yeah. 1329 00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:18,640 Yeah. 1330 00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:22,240 I think you're going to have way more passion with this guy than you do with your real 1331 00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:23,240 fiance. 1332 00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:25,240 You know? 1333 00:56:25,240 --> 00:56:26,760 Them spiten words. 1334 00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,360 I really don't like that. 1335 00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,080 I'm kidding, y'all. 1336 00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:34,200 Just trying to make this tarot read more interesting. 1337 00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:35,200 Byered. 1338 00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:36,200 Okay. 1339 00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:37,200 Bye. 1340 00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,200 Do the shirts. 1341 00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:40,200 What? 1342 00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:42,560 Light this place on fire when I bump into shit? 1343 00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:43,560 Yeah. 1344 00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:45,360 I can do that all by myself. 1345 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,200 Oh, this is cute. 1346 00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:49,000 This is fun. 1347 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,560 Well, do you think we're good? 1348 00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:52,560 I think so. 1349 00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:53,560 I think so too. 1350 00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:54,560 I think so. 1351 00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:55,560 Yeah. 1352 00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:58,360 We're in the gifting mood. 1353 00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:03,800 We might have a little gift for you that was brought to us by a gift from somebody else. 1354 00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:04,800 Yeah. 1355 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:05,800 Did that make any sense? 1356 00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:07,640 It's not technically regifting. 1357 00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:08,640 It's not. 1358 00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:10,760 It's just a gift that we can share with you. 1359 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,840 It's a gift that keeps on giving and giving. 1360 00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:15,400 It is. 1361 00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:21,880 Jocelyn who is not only a listener of the podcast, but also one of our Patreon subscribers. 1362 00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:22,880 Hey, Jocelyn. 1363 00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:24,880 Hey, hey, Jocelyn. 1364 00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:31,880 She is also the fabulous proprietor of Mythic Wig. 1365 00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:35,240 What's Mythic Wig, you ask? 1366 00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:36,640 Sounds like candles. 1367 00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:40,000 It does because they are. 1368 00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:45,320 We will be posting to the socials, but we wanted to make sure we included it in this 1369 00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:50,040 week's episode, The Promo Code. 1370 00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:55,400 And I think we'll go ahead and link in the show notes to where you need to go to get the 1371 00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:59,120 special candles in a special discount. 1372 00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:00,840 She sent us a little goody pack. 1373 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:05,120 So we're good on candles for at least a day or two. 1374 00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:06,120 Speak for yourself. 1375 00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:07,120 Yeah. 1376 00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:13,800 I mean, Cassie is going to immediately be buying probably eight or nine or eleven D. 1377 00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:15,520 I'm going to use the shit out of this. 1378 00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:17,480 Ten percent off code. 1379 00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:19,600 There was a very special way we had to get the code. 1380 00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:24,080 We had to heat up this card over fire to reveal a code. 1381 00:58:24,080 --> 00:58:27,080 It's not the coolest thing ever. 1382 00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:28,480 Like, who does that? 1383 00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:29,480 It's so cool. 1384 00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:30,920 Pretty much the coolest. 1385 00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:31,920 Yeah. 1386 00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:36,440 It was covered in runes and then when we heated it up, it gave us real words. 1387 00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:39,320 And it says ten percent off code. 1388 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:43,000 He and W H H. 1389 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,920 Well, they see, but we'll put it in the notes. 1390 00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:48,800 Have a creepy ass Valentine's Day. 1391 00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:51,720 Don't go creeping around Melrose. 1392 00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:52,720 Glide. 1393 00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:58,160 Unless you enjoy creeps, which you know, might be my thing. 1394 00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,560 I mean, some people do. 1395 00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:00,560 Maybe I'll go. 1396 00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:01,560 Yeah, some Roseburg. 1397 00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:02,560 Crepes of Roseburg. 1398 00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:03,560 Watch out. 1399 00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:04,560 Oh boy. 1400 00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:05,560 All right. 1401 00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:06,560 Is that a go? 1402 00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:07,560 Is that a go? 1403 00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:09,560 Nothing else clever, we have to say. 1404 00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:10,560 Okay. 1405 00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:11,560 Hey, Cassie. 1406 00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:26,440 Yeah. 1407 00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:28,160 Someone shots a dollar tree. 1408 00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:29,160 Oh my. 1409 00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:30,160 Isn't it so cute? 1410 00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:31,160 So cute. 1411 00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:32,160 So cute. 1412 00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:35,160 And it's like a scunk baby. 1413 00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:39,160 You always say so stinkin' cute. 1414 00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:40,480 I do. 1415 00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,080 So stinkin' cute. 1416 00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:44,880 Oh my God. 1417 00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:48,280 You're definitely the best. 1418 00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:50,600 Who knew this book would get her so distracted? 1419 00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:51,600 Oh my God. 1420 00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:52,600 All right. 1421 00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:57,600 Well, I'm probably gonna need to just, what's... 1422 00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,240 Do we have like elevator music? 1423 01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:01,880 Should we just read the whole book? 1424 01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:03,880 I really want to, but... 1425 01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:04,880 Oh! 1426 01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:05,880 For my... 1427 01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:12,880 For my... 1428 01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:14,800 So cute. 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