Reddit AITA: Paranormal Nonbelievers

0:01 Am I the asshole? If I insist on believing in Bigfoot? I don't know how insistent are you? Is this where like the tables turn and now the paranormal person is actually the asshole? I don't know. I guess we'll see. My family doesn't have faith in Bigfoot. Well that's just depressing. I'm so sorry. That's really just I do. I hate to see it. This last weekend, at a family party, folks started ridiculing Bigfoot believers. I suggested that there's more physical evidence for Bigfoot than Jesus. Hi Caitlin Hi Kennessey. Oh, Happy New Year, creepy people.

0:45 Oh my gosh, it's the new year. It is. We haven't been you since Christmas. This is true. I know. We did do a very important rerun I don't know if you guys noticed on New Year's Day. It was the rerun of the Chateau the Oregon Caves. Yeah, they still need donations, and we got an email from them saying that they still need help. So we did a rerun of that to remind you guys, if you haven't donated, to go donate to that because I would like it to reopen. Uh yeah, because it makes it really hard for us to play in a trip there if they're not open.

1:25 I'm just saying, I mean, we could go, but we might get arrested. Yeah. I just feel like in my current state, I just don't think I can add trouble with. Law enforcement to the mix. I've just kind of got a lot on my plate. Yeah we do. Yeah, you know what else we have on our plates? What a new patreon we do? I call them just patreo patrons. What are they even called patron? We patre patrons. Yeah, we have a new creepy person. We have two patrons.

2:06 We have two new ones, two new ones. Yeah. I don't think we shouted them out yet, but it's recent enough that I I'm not sure, so I'm gonna check. Oh we might have shouted her out already. H oh yeah. Uh sweetened gee, I was like, I feel like we didn't say their patreon name, but we said their real name on accident. I don't know if they care, if they cared or not, but I don't know. But you can let us know. Yeah, you're so sweet, you can let us know. I see what you did there. Oh and they're part of the never Bundy Tear. Yeah, and then we have a new creepy, creepy person at the creepy people tear super grams, super gram Hey, you're super I'm so creative with the compliments.

2:57 Yeah, you're really You're really ailing it. They made it easy for me. They knew I was having a rough time and they just wanted, yeah, to make it easy on my brain. It's it's all we can hope for. Really. Yeah, Oh my gosh, So I just like went into the transition and forgot to Oh the rest of our show intro, which is, yeah, what is it? This is PNW Haunts and Homicides, where we chat about true crime, the paranormal, and all things spooky in the Pacific Northwest. Yeah or the pnwf nasty. And then we also do a tarot reading at the end of every episode for a little deeper insight into our top. And then you just got progressively quieter and quieter and whispered the last word. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what does anymore.

3:51 I think we're doing it. I'm trying so hard. Yeah, we I don't know if we talked about it, but my word of the year is. Try we have not talked about that. I love that for you. That's my word of the year. We're just trying, you know, we're just trying. So hey, this is me trying. Taylor Swift. Speaking of Taylor Swift, I watched the new eras for docuseries and I just want to say, I was like in a hole and that just kind of made me feel better. So if you're like filing the pest or whatever, I don't know, watch the Taylor Swift eras to Docuseries on Disney Plan not sponsored. Yeah.

4:33 I actually I found something significantly shorter that had I feel like, kind of the same effect. It's like a four second video clip and it's really changed. It's really turned things around for me. It's a secret video clip. It's hidden on her phone. Yeah, you gotta have the password to get in there. Oh no, oh no, no oh no oh no, it's not from Chris. Not makes it worse. I know, Stop you're making it so much worse. Everything you say just makes it worse. No, I'm kind of distract I know, I know. I'm very excited gonna we are going to be having a new fuzzy creature joining our family.

5:24 Oh are you announcing it. I thought you were keeping it a secret. Uh, I guess I didn't really given it much thought. Could you told me it was a secret. I think I just told you. I hadn't really told anybody else. So this is a secret. No, it's just it was. Late at night when we finished up making our initial arrangements, and so I was like, okay, well, not everybody wants to receive a text late at night announcing their puppy to the world. They don't belong in your life. Then that's true, you know what, It's true. It's true.

6:06 Yeah, So we're not going to be able to bring her home for a little bit because she's so so tiny. She's so so dittle, little nugget. Yeah, and I don't know if her eyes have opened yet or not. Fully, it's a cuss thing. Oh my god, she's so so precious and I can't wait for her to come. And they've at my hat's new pod dog pod Dog and training. Yeah. Are you ready to get into the episode? I guess so. I kind of switched things up on you. Because I like to do that, all right, because I wasn't feeling the episode I have written, and I have a reason for that that I didn't really realize until I, like last night, I was thinking about recording it, and I was like, oh, that's emotional, Like what why am I trying to do this?

7:02 Oh? No, very emotional thing on top of like everything that's going on in my brain. So I was like, you know what, We're just not gonna do it. We're not feeling it. So I have a surprise for you. Okay, Oh yeah, I think I. Scrolled through redd End until three am last nar shut up, Yeah, and we're gonna I just pulled ten different things, So I'm just gonna have you pick numbers until we finish an episode. Read what Oh my. Gosh, Okay, so what you I don't know that I've even told you, But I have some stuff that I've been working on that's in a very similar vein oh brains.

7:43 Yeah. Is it spooky stuff or is it true crime stuff? Could be a little bit of both. So pick a number between one and ten. Okay, I'm gonna go with, uh three. I knew you were going to pick three. Should I not have picked No? I just knew that was the number you're Oh, okay, I have an am I the asshole? For you? Shut up. Really, yeah, I was not expecting that because you like those. I do like those. I know that. I just was like, is there going to be an am I the asshole that like that fits? I'm so curious now there are.

8:27 Or any of you say anything about we don't know where these are. These could be in the Pacific Northwest, it could be anywhere. You know what. We're in the Pacific Northwest and we're talking about it, so deal with it. Yeah, okay, that's the theme for the day that connects to PNW perfect. It's it's our show and that's what we're doing. That's how it connects. Yes, okay, Ai ta for not believing my boyfriend who says he is dealing with paranormal events? Will you tick the dramatic one first? I think? So oh oh, I'm suck excited. Okay, it's user Gabby. I don't know how to say the last name b riends. I don't know.

9:10 You guys can go to my sources and click the link and figure it out for yourself. There you go. So MAYBF and I have been dating for around four months. That's not that long, no, and they're twenty one and eighteen. So oh they're pretty young, so maybe four months does feel like that's. A longer relationship. You have to think about it like dog years when you're dating, like at that age, that's like the equivalent of like a year for grown ups. Okay, so putting it that way, they've been together for the equivalent of a year. Sure, we're going with it.

9:52 He has a few mental health related issues and we usually work around that. Last week he started acting distant, like he would look away from me when we were talking and things like that. Yesterday he almost fell when we were walking and started acting weird. Later, he told me that he heard a scream and that pushed him to the ground. So that's he's saying, that's why he fell. Okay, I have pretty good hearing, and I didn't hear shit. I'm not really sure what to make of that, though. It's kind of funny, like I have pretty good hearing, I didn't hear shit. Yeah, I mean it sounds yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's something I would say.

10:37 Then he started telling me about when he was young he saw things fly. I didn't like, like birds or what kind of things. I'm just curious about that flying. I think these are like objects creatures. Yeah, I just feel like this is what this could be one of those posts where you're like info, no more details. Yeah, I don't. Believe in what he said. And when I told him that, he flipped out on me. I said, I needed a break to think. And now I have several missed calls over a hundred miss messages from him. Oh my god, Wow, that's intense.

11:19 Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if I'm a jerk for not believing in him, But after that, I wonder if he was just attention seeking or if he's mentally ill. I don't know if I should end it for good or try to help even even if I don't believe him. Advice Caitlin, this is your advice column. Oh great, no pressure, right. I mean, even if you're not experiencing the same things or sort of like witnessing the same things, I would think it's probably best you approach this, you know, from a perspective of like you don't necessarily have to believe that what he's saying is one hundred percent accurate, or you know, maybe there's a different interpretation that you have of the same events, but just being supportive and maybe I think I think this comes up a lot actually in relation to like hauntings and paranormal stories where people are advised, Yes, we should probably explore every possible like quote unquote normal explanation before we jump to you know, poltergeist whatever. So definitely, you know, just doing a little mental health check is is always good.

12:45 That's a good place to to start. Yeah. I think a lot of people in the comments were saying, like it sounds like the start of schizophrenia, like kind of yeah, the acting distance and hearing things, seeing things, you know. So yeah, I feel like it's it's worth checking out. And it sounds like. There's a little bit of a history there with some mental health issues, although it sounds like he'd argue that it's a history of. A pair normal, right, Yeah, but I mean it. Either way, you know, I think it's it's worth exploring. I will say, I.

13:26 Feel like everything combine, like the one hundred missed messages, that's yeah, that's kind of that a big indication, red flag of something maybe else going on there. Yes, yeah, I do think at that point it makes it puts a little more into the column for you know, potential concern for mental. Health in our professional opinion, Yes, and our very very professional opinions in our professional podcast or opinion exactly exactly. Yeah, definitely, a ton of people. I was I wasn't totally like reading the comments, but a lot of them were.

14:08 I mean, the comments is where. That's where you gotta go. Yeah, you've got to go there to see what people are saying. That's kind of the whole that's the whole thing. But I don't I agree. Though that because for everyone just immediately if you tell a ghost story, they especially I feel like on Reddit they're like, oh, that's a hallucination. You're hallucinating, Like that's in your brain. Yeah, And I feel like it happens in so many different subreddits and like different situations where there definitely can be a real dismissive vibe whatever is happening.

14:48 You know, everybody. Has their own opinion, but some people can really downplay or be dismissive of of Yeah. I mean, at the very. Least, I feel like you owe it to people to just you know, okay, hear me out. You know, yeah, so far he's not putting anybody in danger. Hopefully it doesn't sound like yeah, so I feel like, you know. You know, maybe the beginnings of stalking, that could be that. Could be like, yeah, I mean if it rises to that level, for sure. But I think you know, approach things with you know, openness and kindness, and I think, you know, I have to think about safety, like I said, but you know, I think that results are so much better.

15:42 You know, people get closed off when you immediately are kind of objecting to to their experience or invalidating them. So because I don't know, someone did in the comments say like it's real to them. So like exactly, Yeah, regardless of whatever the cause is happening in their like right's they're experienced real distress. Yeah exactly. But then again, like it is your boyfriend, you're very young, like it might not be your responsibility to you know, make sure this person gets mental help either. Yeah, And that's where I feel like you do have to be really cautious about, you know, making sure that you're taking care of yourself and really putting you know, safety, and that can mean so many different things, but putting that at the forefront, because yeah, you're very young and you guys have been together for such a short time.

16:43 You know, you can't let somebody four months. Yeah, if it's meant to be, it'll be not just kidding. Yeah, let him go, let him fly like the objects that he sees. Yeah, I mean just to you know, just perspective. Okay, I have jars of pickles in my fridge that I've had longer relationships with than four months, so you know, yeah, I'm just saying I wouldn't. I wouldn't let a jar of pickles ruin my life, you know, in a in a serious way.

17:24 So I don't know for what it's worth. What if those pickles are telling you that they're seeing ghosts. Well, I feel like the pickles, you know, they're seeing things from a different perspective than me. So I'm I'm opened hearing them out a submerged perspective, right, they're in vinegar. Maybe maybe it's like, maybe it's a ghost that like is specifically hanging out in the fridge. And in which case, I think probably the pickles are gonna be the expert technically in that scenario. If you are a pickle and you are being haunted, email US office the Gmail talk Oh my god, Okay, well please someone right a haunted like creepy pasta or what am I trying to say? Write a creepy email to us from the perspective of a pickle being haunted.

18:27 Yes, please, if you don't do it, I'm gonna do it. Yeah, it's gonna happen, I think. Okay, Okay, I'm excited to see if the next story, if there's any way that this pickle situation, you know, kind of carries through, it'll be really interesting. Yeah. No, no, no, okay, pick a number between one and ten. Okay? Seven? Who seven minus three? Oh well, you're already picked three. Yeah. I was like, you want me to do math? Or I would never ever do that too. Am I the asshole for banning my girlfriend from a group chat after she upset people by insisting ghosts aren't real?

19:16 I don't think so. It kind of sounds like she's the asshole. Don't you think? I don't know. Let's hear the story. Okay, So my girlfriend and I are in a big group chat with about a dozen of our mutual friends. That sounds like a nightmare. Yeah, that's miss. This past weekend, some people were chatting about paranormal experiences, and one of our friends, Anne, was saying how her mom once came to see her a few years ago. Long after she had passed. Oh oh, by the way, this is from user bubbly a D five four three seven Bibbly Bubbly Michael Bubbly Michael Burbler. So Anne lost her mom when she was eighteen to a very sad, unnatural event, which she definitely still struggles with.

20:03 I like want the I want to know, but I don't because that sounds very ragic. I'm like, Okay, when you say an natural, do you mean like a really like tragic, maybe kind of a bizarre like like final destination, typreak accident, incident, or are you saying like like murder, true crime. Yep, you read my mind. Yeah, because that's unnatural as fuck. Yeah, that's yeah, But that's d either way. This is something most of us know. But granted, my girlfriend may not be as familiar as she doesn't know them as long. I think they hasn't known them as long.

20:44 Oh okay, yeah, we get what you're saying. Anyways, as Anne is relaying her story, my girlfriend chimes in and starts peppering Anne with all sorts of questions. My girlfriend is a huge skeptic and says Anne's experience was probably a combo of hallucination slash exhaustion since it happened around two am, and gets really defensive, but my girlfriend doesn't let up. She ends up calling Anne loopy and something like sorry, but sane adults don't see ghosts. Sounds like you had a mental break from reality due to grief. Wow, your girlfriend is a sea next Tuesday, your next Thursday, and not in that good way?

21:27 Oh my god? Wow? See and never how about that? That is so aggressive? I think we're seeing who the asshole is. Yeah, it's like one thing to not not believe somebody. You don't have to believe, but don't shit on this poor person. And we did. We just talked about sometimes it can be mental health. Sometimes it can be hallucinations. But when you've had a traumatic event and you're telling someone that you like felt your mom's spirit or saw your mom's or whatever, like, that's come on, that's not the time. Yeah, tell someone they've had a mental break. Obviously they've had a mental fucking break. Okay, their mom died.

22:08 Yeah. Here's the thing, though, is in what way is that productive? In what way is that helpful or kind? Like? Is she hurting anyone? No? No, I don't think so. The story doesn't say that she is, doesn't give us any indication that there's any harm happening here. And this is something that I don't know how long ago that you know, she supposedly saw her mom's ghosts, but this is something she's looking back on, like in hindsight, whether that was two weeks ago, two years ago, whatever. Why why do you have to try to take that from her? That's probably really helped her cope in this time since her mom has passed.

22:53 You're just like not a nice person. And like we said, it's real to them. Yeah, even if you believe that, and maybe you're right, but you can be right and still an asshole. Yeah, exactly. In fact, I would argue sometimes being right when it's a very sensitive and emotional situation in particular, is the leading cause of being the asshole ofs holary. Yes, you care more about being right than like another human's feelings. Yeah, to the trash, there are a million times a day where like, well, okay, well that's a stretch, but there are some times when you know, people are talking to me and I'm talking to them and we're just like having a nice conversation, and they'll say something that like I know, to me is wrong.

23:44 Or just not like resonate or not like morally wrong, but it's like it's wrong information because you know, I don't know, I hoard like random facts and stuff. Yeah, but like I'm not gonna stop our conversation and be like, well, actually. I don't know, like some people, some people are like that maybe, I mean, if it's important or you think that they would want to know. I feel like so much in any situation, in particular on like the this subreddit, like the any of these asshole situations, it's so much about like just read the fucking room. Yeah, yeah, some people can't. I don't know. I don't want to be a care I was just thinking, literally was thinking of Sheldon when I just said that, because I was like, oh, well, I mean, I don't know.

24:34 I feel he is an asshole though he admits it. Yeah, I mean I think sometimes having an awareness and also like you can over time learn to sort of I don't, I don't know, for lack of a better way to put it, like you can learn how to behave better. You might not innately or inherently understand certain things. You might not know exactly how to interact socially or emotionally whatever with other people on certain levels, certain topics, but you can learn to do better. Yeah, and obviously like calling someone loopy and saying like sing adults don't see ghosts, I don't know, it's just it's just rude.

25:20 No matter how you put it it, it is. Here's the thing is, if you're like a fucking internet troll and you just go to a subreddit and you're like, ghosts aren't real, I guess whatever. I wish you would find a hobby that wasn't so annoying for the people trying to talk about their ghost stories. But you were in a group chat with people that you are supposed to be friends with, yeah, which you're actually really like your boyfriend's friends that you're you should be trying to ingratiate yourself to. They're not being racist, they're not being homophobic, they're not otherwise. Hopefully that I mean, we don't know the whole context, but but they're like a huge group of assholes and she's, yeah, I don't.

26:03 Know, they're just major bigots. Here's the thing I've had included in the story. I feel like it would have probably been sprinkled in that there's a little I'm just saying there's no reason for her to be going so hard on this person. That like, why why there's more, that's a little bit more to the story, so maybe we'll get a little more context. Oh my god, is this where the bigotry comes in? I don't know. Okay, so this is after she said really mean things to an okay for Anne, great, I know. At this point I started getting texts and calls from friends in the chat asking me to. Break up with your girlfriend.

26:43 Well, I ask made me to tell my girlfriend to shut it, which is like, I don't know, like just back off. Yeah, but I don't know that I would be calling someone to tell them to tell their girlfriend to shut up. I don't know. Well, very I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I kind of understand it in this case. Normally I'm I'm pro not boyfriends telling girlfriends. What is okay yeah to say? Or its complicated feelings. Yes, yeah, I call my girlfriend she was out jogging, but no answer. I text her, no reply. I send her a long paragraph about Anne's context and to be sensitive, but again there's no reply.

27:26 So the you've been texting this whole time. I know she's jogging and texting but can't answer the phone. Maybe she tripped over a log, her phone broke, I know. So the fight is still ongoing in the group chat and now some friends are defending Anne, but my girlfriend is on a crusade as a result. She gets heated during these kinds of arguments because she treats it like a debate. Oh okay, that was kind of sweet to give us context there. Okay, here's the thing. Debating is fun. Being an asshole is not. Oh my god, like, I'm sorry, that's not the same. Like, if you want to debate the merits of wearing plaid and stripes together, that's a debate that nobody gets hurt.

28:11 Now this situation, you're just an asshole. Well, and a good debate is not calling someone insane, right, that's. Not a You need more evidence than that. Maybe she had it. I don't know. Yeah, again, is it helpful? Is it productive? Is it kind? Is it literally something that you would want someone to say to you. I don't know. Maybe she likes it. Anyways, With no other option, I just temporarily kick my girlfriend out of the group. I have adminisers and she doesn't, so it seemed like the quickest fix at the time. Immediately I get calls from my girlfriend accusing me of siding with another girl and not giving her a chance to explain her side.

28:54 He called you, he texted you. Yeah, I'm sorry, bitch, your phone's working again. Weird. She's incredibly pissed off and won't hear my reasoning. No one likes you. You're the worst, she says. I lost all credibility in the moment I kicked her out and censored her without warning. Was I the asshole to do this so quickly in the moment, I just wanted to stop the fighting with what seemed like the easiest, easiest, easiest. Fix, easiest fix. As hard as it is, she was like not, she was not She was not listening to anybody.

29:41 Like you. Tried to reach out to her and just be like, hey, can you not. She didn't even answer. No, you didn't give me a chance to you. You had your chance. You can't continue to argue and then someone stops the meanness. No, I'm sorry, you're trash. You're objectively like a mean trash person. I hope they I don't know. I hope they broke up. Yeah, I love five years ago. So oh my gosh, Michael Buble, I hope you're okay. God, I really hope she's still out there on that trail eating bark.

30:23 Oh. I was like, what could she tripped over a log? Go eat bark thors Okay. So I think there's like I'm sensing a little bit of a theme with these posts I've picked. Oh, like, you know, people not believing people. Yeah, that's kind of that's fine. That's fine, But you don't have to be an asshole about it. You guys, it's dick road. Don't be dick episode two. We've been saying it for literal years, been saying it for years. I think I just started pulling these because I'm I'm always like I like to see both sides, because we always say like, yeah, we believe everybody, especially if you send us a story through email or tell us a story like we're gonna believe you.

31:11 We're not gonna We're not gonna be. There's a really good chance that based on the description that you provide us of a strange creature, we'll plug that into AI so that we can make a picture of it. Yeah, we didn't tell Clint he was crazy because he saw something like No, I'm not going to do that, I know. But Clint, that thing is nightmare fuel. Now that, now that I'm thinking about it again. I think about that often. Yeah, really like a lot. Yeah, probably more than it's healthy, I know, I know. Yeah. So in case you were wondering, Clint, your your story has impacted us, and for anybody else listening who's wondering if we would care about their stories, We're that just lives rent free.

32:02 In my head, Yes we care, and you know, we might suggest if we see signs of maybe a mental break, I don't know, we might say like, hey, maybe look at this, but we know that it's real for you. Anything happening to you is real for you, and it's from your perspective. And we weren't there, and you know, how do other than we know? Yeah, who are we to judge? And we don't, you know, we don't necessarily with everyone that listens to the show know them personally, so that would be pretty hard. For us to assess. That's all. I mean. I have exceptional hearing and vision, but I can't see everything going on it once.

32:44 I am not no god, Okay, So we did three, we've done seven, let's do four. Am I the asshole because I told my friend I didn't believe his ghost story? Oh my gosh, another butthole? Yeah, well, I don't know. Maybe we'll see maybe this guy won't be the asshole. Oh I should I guess I should have. I don't know if I should have said the results at the top, like after we were done. Oh, I guess we haven't. Really, we haven't shared the verdicts.

33:25 That's a good point. We're really bad at Reddit. You guys. I don't know how the podcast yeah. Oh okay, so the boyfriend one just said advice needed. It didn't have a verdict. Okay, So the last one we did was seven. I mean I think we know what the verdict is going to be. Not the a hole Okay, yeah, with the girlfriend and the banning and the girlfriend's a hole, not the banner. Mm hmmm. Let me just say the user name Lucy more guns the genera. Yeah, yep, like I said, they'll all be in this LinkedIn the sources. Okay, there you go.

34:06 Let me just say that we are still good friends today, and it is just something I have a hard time letting go of. You have a hard time letting go of it for real. A few years ago, my friend and I were on a road trip and we had a great time. It was just one discussion that was a hiccup. Okay, they discussed hiccups. Did you scare? Do you tried to scare the hiccups out of them? That'd be funny. Now, I feel like people really downplay hiccups and how uncomfortable they can be. Dude, I don't get. Them often, but I feel like saying something's a hiccup to me, I don't know.

34:51 I'm like, I don't know, uncomfortable. Yeah, I don't know, man, I don't remember how we got into it, but I just said something along the lines of it would be cool if supernatural stuff actually existed, like ghosts or whatever. Okay, just coming in dropping a hot take and. Just like just as fact, it'd be cool if this, like yeah, right. Because I'm a scientist and I know everything. Gosh, that's fine, I get it. Not everybody believes that's fine.

35:31 You got to feel it out though. I don't know. Yeah, maybe maybe just a vibe check, like a little I. Think, do you think? I don't know, I don't know. And he said ghosts do exist, he'd seen one, I replied, but I doubted that he did, okay, And he asked if I was calling him a liar, and then I remembered my exact words, and then I remember my exact words. I believe that you believe, which, God damn it. That is so condescending. And it is kind of what we were saying earlier, like it's real to you, but like saying it's real to you, I don't know, like there's a better way to say that. I think, yeah, I believe that you believe. It is just.

36:25 I believe that you're crazy and maybe you were seeing things and to you that seems real, but it's not. And here I am to tell you how you're wrong. Is how my drop sounds. Yeah, it's a It's it's like saying no offense before saying something effect. My god, it's in the Geneva convention. I just feel like, here's the thing. All all of my feedback, input, advice, my thoughts, they would apply to so many different situations, like whether you called your you know, girlfriend a not nice name or.

37:17 Just like. You just suck as a human. You're sucking at human ing, right, now because of how you're talking to this person, and I realized you maybe didn't mean for it to come across. That harsh, but but you suck. Yeah, I didn't mean for that to come across that harsh, but there it is, you know, there it is. Yeah, I guess sometimes it just slips out and you can't help it. That's what she said. So we didn't just call him out. He looked hurt and said that that's a really condescending way to say that. Oh interesting, huh, yes, the exact words.

37:59 It's our felt vocabulary word for the day. Condescend is condescension a word, yepsen, I like that better. I do too. Your condescension astounds me. And I still think about it today. How else do you handle these things? Otherwise you just lie to them and say you believe them. You just switch the subject. Anyways? Was it condescending? Yes, yes it was. Yeah, you don't have to lie, but. Maybe Okay, So this is like what I do if I have a different opinion than someone as I hear them, I hear what they say, and I maybe will say like, well, I don't believe, and maybe I would say I don't believe in ghosts because of like science blah blah blah doo dooo do and then but you today, But I respect your opinion and your point of view and experience.

39:03 And maybe it's like I don't be that deep either though you can just I just don't really believe in that, but like I don't. I'm not saying you're a liar. I just don't really believe in that. Yeah, do you see how that feels a little different? Do you feel how it? Did you feel the condescension leave the room? With that difference in phrasing, it is the condescension in the room with us. And the answer is to ask, I guess, ask more questions. I don't know, I'm a curious I'm a more curious person maybe, but I ask people a lot of questions about what they're talking to me about. So I would just try to learn as much as possible. I don't know.

39:43 I don't need to like be right in the situation. We kind of already talked about that. But yeah, and I get it some people are really passionate about particular things. But what really cements for me that this person like kind of is just like I completely inept or actually kind of an asshole is that they're like, well, I don't know, like, is that condescending? Should I just have lied? So your options are to say something that like comes across like you think this person is a fuck with or to just lie. Yeah, there's no in between, no other option. Well, yes, I mean I assume it's a man. Yeah, I guess.

40:28 I don't wait, it's as Lucy. I don't know, maybe it's not a man. Was the friend Lucy? Or no that's the user name? Okay, Well, chicks can be dicks too, do you know what I mean? I don't know why I assumed it was a guy. I guess. I just I feel like some of the wording does kind of energy. It gives neck beard. Yeah. Yeah, they still do think about it today and they are asking like was I rude? So maybe they maybe they're they do caybe and they're like, oh god, like was I an asshole? So they did come on here, But the consensus is it that they're not.

41:09 And I don't agree with that. What Yeah, it says not an a hole? Okay. Well. Reddit has a long and storied history of sometimes being wrong in their verdicts. In case anyone was unaware. I don't know. I do think the fact that you still think about it, like to me that also says like, as much as I was saying this person you like, your status as an asshole is cemented for me because there's just like no in between with you and you seem like kind of ridiculous for that, the fact that you still.

41:49 Think about it makes me think there is possibly potential for growth learning. That's learning. That's the most I can say for you. The learning opportunity I was. I just kept saying learning learning, it's a learning coptunity. Yes, I do like this one comment that says, I'm not sure how to judge this, but to at least one of your questions, yes, that was condescending. Yes, which I feel like is how you established as somebody as an asshole because what did the friend do that was asshole ish? So I mean it depends, I guess how closely you want to follow the different guidelines that typically exist for like verdicts like there can be not the asshole, you're the asshole, no assholes here, everybody sucks here, lots of different verdicts, and I think definitely your friend's not the asshole, so.

42:47 Right, and I see a lot of people saying like that that was okay to say, and like, you don't this one says, oh, no, one is forced to placate other people's delusions. That's mean. That is mean. So now that we know that we're not forced to placate other people's delusions. God, definitely not the asshole, then I guess. I mean that person also sounds like an asshole. For what it's worth. People on the internet. Man, it's just it. I mean, here's the thing is that is a fucking bar and technically they are not wrong.

43:29 I just don't. I just don't feel like the steaks are high enough. I just I don't know, Man, I don't know. I don't think. Let us know in the comments. Do you want to do one more? I think I have some shorter ones. Okay, I have one more number in mind at least I both. Yeah. If I have to pick, I know what number I would pick next? Eight? Okay? Am I the asshole? If I insist on believing in Bigfoot? I don't know how insistent are you? Oh? God?

44:11 I feel like is this where like the tables turn and now the paranormal person is actually the asshole? I don't know. I guess we'll see my family doesn't have faith in Bigfoot. Well, that's just depressing. I'm so sorry. That's really diffe I do. I hate to see it. Well, especially if you do. Yeah. This last weekend at a family party, folks started ridiculing Bigfoot believers. I suggested that there's more physical evidence for Bigfoot than Jesus. Awkwardness ensued. I mean. Grandma might have fainted. No, we're really painting a picture.

44:54 No, did they say that that's actually in the story the grandma might have fainted. They said grandma might have fainted. And when I said that Bigfoot might be Cain, they took away my plate. Wait that Bigfoot might be Cain? Yes, nope, I just I just got there. Okay. I'm like, I guess it's a Bible thing. I wouldn't know. Yeah, you're like, I don't know. So that's the end. So what do you think are they that's. We're saying that there's more physical evidence for Bigfoot than Jesus. And they made their grandma faint.

45:36 Well, they said grandma might have fainted, might have fainted. Might. Wow, that's a tough one. I think this goes back to knowing your audience a little, right, Yeah. I think maybe saying that Bigfoot might be Caine was like maybe a step too far. Yeah, that might be a bridge too far. I don't know how much physical like evidence there is for either of these individuals, to be honest, I don't I don't know that there's I'm sure, I'm sure there are people that think there is physical evidence for either one of like and very passionately that I maybe would not consider physical evidence.

46:35 That there's a whole Bigfoot museum full of evidence. Uh huh? Is there a Jesus museum full of and there's there's a lot of mega churches. We're going to do a quick Google search for. Okay, physical evidence of the existence of Bigfoot. Google says physical evidence for Bigfoot is anecdotal and inconclusive, consisting mainly of blurry photos, slash videos like the Patterson Gimblin film, large footprint footprint casts often debunked or identified as known animals, alleged hair slash scat samples usually deer or bear, and vocalizations, but scientific consensus finds no concrete proof, with most findings attributable to folklore, misidentification, or hoaxes, though some researchers cite unique features in tracks like the Skukum cast as potential evidence.

47:39 We don't know if it's physical, real physical evidence or not. It's it's not been clarified. Mm hmmm. So it's possible that there is more physical evidence of Big With than Jesus. We don't know. Do you want me to read the overview for Jesus. Yes, there is no definitive, direct physical evidence in parentheses like a photograph, DNA, or personal artifact of Jesus, as peasants from that era rarely left such records, but historians rely on literary evidence and artifacts from the time to confirm a historical figure named Jesus likely existed, and his baptism and crucifixion being widely accepted historical events, while claims of relics like the Shroud of Turin lacks scientific consensus. That was the first thing that popped into my head. I was like, Oh, I know the shrouds. I know we're going to talk.

48:41 About the shrouds. I don't know that. I don't know that. It's not important, it's not evidence of anything like, So. I mean, Big Book could be Jesus Jesus could be Bigfoot. Yeah, I don't know that that. I don't think we have to draw a parallels or like, I think sometimes it's okay to put the red string down, like they are both equally elusive individuals, and that might be where the similarities begin to sort of break off and diverge. Okay, but if there was, if there was such a thing, would we call him Big Jesus or Jesus' foot? Ooh, big Jesus Foot. You know what, I think we're going to have Jesus workshop it if you'll be JAJJ Big Jesus. No, he's just going by BJ.

49:44 I just think sometimes I just I want to ask people why why why why do we have to bring up these topics with people that you know, very in very specifically have contradictory or or like opposite end of the spectrum views. And yeah, it's I would argue in most cases, whether you believe more strongly in Jesus or Bigfoot. As long as you're not pushing it on anyone else, that's fine. Believe what you want to believe. But I do think the principle of like trying to force your beliefs on someone else it applies to you over there too, squatch, So yeah, I agree. I don't know that they're really like being as pushy in the way that we're familiar with typically evangelicals behaving here.

50:46 There couldn't be some evangelical bigfooters out there. I love that for them. Well, I want someone to. Draw us artwork of big Jesus, so get on that mail us. I like this one person's call that says it's an asshole moved to belittle someone else's beliefs, be that big Boot or Jesus. And I agree with that. That's what I said. Mm hmm, yeah, that's yeah, basically what you said. But he said it in like two sentences and with less. Uh no, that was perfect. Okay, Yeah, so they were considered not the asshole, which I feel like, maybe everyone's an asshole in this situation. I would say, I don't know. I actually think this is a better example. And and I've heard other shows talk about this. There's sort of a paradox of like, is it no assholes here versus everybody sucks?

51:42 And I don't think, oh right, everybody sucks. Yeah, I don't really think that everybody sucks here. Probably not Grandma thought she just might have fainted. She probably didn't have anything to. Do with it. Yeah. I think this is more of a no assholes here, because you guys just have like very diametrically opposed belief systems. Oh no, no, no, heavily disagreed. Do you remember the last sentence Okay, yeah, when I said that they took away my plate. You don't like someone's food. No, I didn't hear that they took away as plate. I didn't hear that. You don't fuck with No, I don't walk with someone's food.

52:26 I feel like this is that episode of Friends where it's like Joey doesn't share food. Yes, I don't care if you don't believe in Jesus. Don't take somebody's plate. Okay, yeah, Actually that kind of pushes me in the other direction. I kind of almost think maybe I mentioned the paradox right, but actually this kind of pushes me to everybody sucks. Here, Yeah, because I mean I don't necessarily think like the Bigfoot believer was kind of just getting defensive because they were picking up I'm saying that's big. Footb Well, but like you said, then you go and pick that the cane and abel thing.

53:07 I don't give a shit you. I thought it was hilarious. But if you know that you are in a group of religious people and this is something that they revere and is important to them, and you say that, I don't know, man, they definitely think you're an asshole. Obviously they took your plate. They took your plate, but like, yeah, don't take plate, So that's not nice. Yeah, that's me to eat. You know, starvation is not a punishment. Okay, we've talked about this. I mean, it is a punishment, but it's against the Geneva convention. Right, it's not an acceptable punishment. Yeah, that was from user you loose gum by the way. You loose gum.

53:47 Okay, what if you only let someone eat haunted pickles? Here you get a play to haunted pickles? Okay, I have one more short? When should we do it? Definitely it is from user ever Abe Okay, like Abe Lincoln the Vampire Hunter? Right, Okay? Am I the asshole for letting my eleven year old son go around town wearing a Michael Myers mask carrying a butter knife. Yeah, I don't know, I know the title.

54:31 I say, no, Well, okay, I need info though, because as someone who was definitely chased by a terrifying child with a weapon in their neighborhood, listen, not everything is a boys will be voice situation, and we have to stop saying that. Yeah yeah, no, yeah, no one will be by you guys like I'm here. Oh, I didn't know this would be so triggering for you. I know, I know who could have known because I just normally come across a so well adjusted. So my son loves costumes, special effects, makeup, et cetera, I said, etcetera, etcetera.

55:13 We'll just leave it, that's fine. This morning, he wore his Michael Myers latex mask and carried a dull butter knife to go stand in front of the neighbor's house to be spooky. Okay, all right, I'm gonna let you finish. The neighbor knows my son well and thought it was hysterical, sent me pictures. It entertained their children as well. Okay, So I'm like, that's fine if it was just if it was it's your asshole neighbor and you're like, hey, kid, just go be creepy. Right, Yeah, yeah, this could really go It could go very differently. Then, I got a message from another neighbor about how terrifying and disturbing my eleven year old son's behavior was.

56:02 They live right next to the neighbor who was amused and saw my son in passing. Really is it that bad? Okay? So the specific neighbor that he's like standing outside, like in front of their house, they think it's funny. Okay. So I feel like that's a point. That's a point in your column. I will say, it's a dull butter knife, okay. So that's that's certainly better than like a cleaver, obviously, but it is still a knife. I feel thinking, I feel as though we could probably. Resolve at least a portion of what's bothersome about this by maybe maybe a rubber knife.

56:47 Yeah, we're like, you know, something that looks real fake? Yes, yeah, I don't know. What do you think? I yeah, I don't know, because that's it's hard because it's a kid. So like the Yeah, like you said, even though it was a dull knife, like, the kid still has a weapon. You can poke somebody's. Eye out with that, Yeah, exactly, You're gonna take somebody's eye out with that, clerk. But I'm just picturing like you know what if the cops were rolling down the street and like you see this kid with a knife and then they're like, hey, kid, drop the weapon, and like the kid doesn't know what's going on, and all of a sudden, the kid gets shot and that's America.

57:30 Well, yeah, that's very true. I feel like. There are a lot of variables that can introduce like literal, actual physical danger in this situation. So that's that's definitely something I thought about as well. I think because it's like an eleven year old. Yeah, I want to believe that everybody can. Understand that this is like a literal child dressed up or whatever. But it's also not Halloween, correct, Like it's it doesn't say yeah, I. Feel like that would have been mentioned. When was it posted?

58:11 You have any idea? But Halloween is all the time. It's five years ago, it says. Well, listen, it's always Halloween in our hearts. But you know that's kind of the day where you can probably you're gonna have the highest chance of success with something like this. Yeah, maybe like not Halloween. Do it in your backyard, you know, also in your window. Yeah yeah, or or you go and knock on their door because that's the neighbor that's chill, and they think it's funny and they get you guys, so like you go and knock on their door and see my costume. Yeah, and then and then yeah, maybe going I don't know, that's I don't think they're the asshole.

58:57 I'm really curious what it had to say. Nosy neighbors just irritate just so I feel out of here Karen Susan's mind. Okay, I'm weird though, So I'm like, if I saw that, I would think it was hilarious, but it really depends. It really depends. Yeah, like is this my little neighbor kid that I know loves like scary movies. Yeah, then that's hilarious and adorable. But I guess if you don't know, do I know this child going on? Like have I never met this child before? Am I gonna look out the window and think it's like an actual black eyed child? You know, like black eyed children.

59:40 Like email us. I don't know. I just feel I do feel like, you know, how things are received matters, But also I think there's a fairness to considering, like what was the intent too, especially for a child, because I don't think there's any actual harm that's come from this, but I could be wrong. It happened that one other time. It was funny. Yeah, just the ones, just the ones. So Reddit agrees seems to agree that they are the asshole. Wait, who's they the neighbor or the poster, the poster, the op they said, oh p was the asshole. Yeah, yeah, I think it was a lot of what we were saying.

1:00:29 Like, I don't think they're really the asshole. This person says, my uncle has PTSD from a really bad home invasion years ago, and someone standing outside his home with a mask could very well be triggering for him. Yeah, that's fair. I don't think they're the asshole though. Right, Okay, So I would be like, if you keep doing if you continue to do this, you might be the asshole. But like, yeah, once someone has brought to your attention that it creep out or like made them scared or uncomfortable, yeah, then you know, maybe don't do it again or you you know. I think the worst part about it is the butter knife, Like, even though it's dull, Like.

1:01:11 Yeah, I do think even a butter knife, I just I don't know that I would have yeah, I just don't know that that's the best idea in the grand scheme of things. Is that really that threatening? I don't know. You like, every individual person is potentially gonna like interpret that differently. I've been chased with like a hammer. Ooh. So for me, I look at this and go like actually thinking about like neighbor kids that I grew up with. I know there are kids that we grew up with in our neighborhood that I would have been like, this is hilarious. And then there are kids. That I would be like, oh my god, someone get out of camera because we're like, if we survive, we're gonna release this, you know, indie film, indie.

1:02:02 Horror film, like uh, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. That sounds terrible, but like I don't know, it depends on the rapport and like what you know about this person. I don't think they're an asshole. I don't know. Yeah, I guess I don't think they're an asshole for just there an asshole. If they keep doing it, probably yeah, I agree with you, And. I would say definitely like maybe not even a fake weapon, like maybe just no no weapons, you know, like it's just well, because people just don't know, right. I do think that the mask is scary enough if there's no weapon, Like, maybe that's a good compromise. I do think it's something where I don't know how much how well do you know your neighbors? How much do you care about the rapport that you have with them?

1:02:47 Maybe it's worth having a conversation with them about and saying so sorry if like that upset you. You know, you don't have to get into anything with me that you're not comfortable with, But like, would it bother you if you know? I don't know, maybe you can find some sort of like a middle ground where I don't. Know how often is this kid gonna do this? It sounds like yeah, kind of like that. I don't know. And if he's constantly dressing up like some sort of horrifying character, that might be different. But I don't know. If he's just going to the neighbor's house who they're friends with and stare steering into their windows, I don't see anything wrong with that. Yeah, being creepy outside, Like, don't go to your other neighbors who you know don't like it, go.

1:03:36 I mean your windows. The tough thing is is that it's like it's a public sidewalk, public street. Yeah, and so that goes both ways because you can do what you want to a point on a public sidewalk or whatever, But that also means that other people can see you. So you you might have intended this for only that neighbor that you guys have go relationship with, but anybody else who looks out their window is seeing it. So it's worth it's worth at least considering. I don't know, definitely weaponless, go weaponless. I feel like weaponless is probably the way to go. Yeah, for so many reasons.

1:04:19 Oh boy, yeah, yeah, And a lot of people said, like if it were Halloween, that would be different, but I would still say maybe no. Weapon even on Halloween, that is not without potential hazard. I would say, I think you're right. I think weaponless almost regardless if any of the other circumstances is probably the way to go. I know that seems like so I don't know. Part of me is it's so lame, But whatever. This is what like I was concerned about. I have no idea if this is true or not. It's just somebody's comment. Oh it says we live in a world. Where cops shot and killed a kid with a gun, a toy gun missing. Oh it was missing the orange chip.

1:05:03 I thought it's that it had the orange chip on. Oh right, so like but yeah, because that's what we tell them, that it's a toy and it's. Right, Like all they see is metal. You could still step someone, even with adult knife. I would argue it would be worse to step out. Oh god, Okay, yeah, I didn't really see this taking a true crime bent, but here we are. Oh yeah, you're welcome. Okay, so yeah, thanks so much. I pulled out my This is one of the Christmas gifts that you get Toma. It's my little Leo pocket zodiac.

1:05:52 It has forty magical messages from the stars. I love it. Let's care one. Okay, should I do which category? So I can do love, career well being or family well being? I feel like that's good for an am. I the asshole segment segment episode I mean to say, okay. Let's see. Okay, I'm reading two of them. There's nothing any of you can do to stop me, but I dare you to try. Yeah. It's a woman like sitting in a tree. And then there's this one she's like putting on makeup.

1:06:33 I'll have to take it. I'll have to take a picture of these. Okay, is the woman in the tree because she tripped on a log, the bark eater, the. Bark eater. Hope she's eating bark and haunted pickles. Okay, love yourself. The famous psychologist James Hellman's said beauty is something everybody longs for. The soul yearns for it. Psychology seems to have forgotten that. However, you haven't forgotten about beauty. It's an intrinsic need in your vision of life. Love yourself to heal yourself feels like very New Year's resolution.

1:07:21 It does. Yeah. I remember kind of thumbing through the deck and thinking like, wow, this is like the timing of this is very It feels very right. Okay, and the second one I'm gonna read is good Life. Did you know that there is a frog in southern Africa that is seemingly the saddest animal. In the world. Oh, I know why. I own know. It has a downturned snout and only comes out of its den when it rains. Oh I know it's gonna cut. I'm only happy when it rains. I live like seeing and then that song.

1:08:05 If it's true that we often need a mirror to understand what we don't want to be, then you need to mirror yourself in this frog and be the complete opposite. So don't be the saddest frog in the world. Don't be like condescending, don't or sha your opinions on everyone else. Like if you don't like it. Yeah, like kind of what we were talking about through all these people who didn't believe people's stories and we're kind of rude about it. Yeah, grass frogs are green, and so are pickles. That's true. And if there's moss on the bark, then so is bark.

1:08:46 Which one was that? Was that the tree one or the makeup? The makeup one was first that you read? Yeah, the makeup one was the one I read first, and the one with the frog is the tree one? Ah yeah, okay, I think that's cute. What was the first one? Again? Love yourself? Oh yeah, okay, So I was thinking like, even if you're an asshole, you should love yourself because only through love. Because you're the only one that will if you keep active with that. Hey, I was trying to be nice. I would say only through love will your heart grow three times? But it's not Christmas. Ah, that's right. No, I do think you know, self love is important, and I do think that probably if you try to exhibit some of those qualities, you might find yourself also being kinder to other people. I don't know, or maybe you're just human trash.

1:09:42 I'd rather be big Jesus. Yeah, b joke, Joe, all right, should we uh end this? Yeah? Asshole? Soowed have fastic See you next Thursday. Tuesday. I had it wrong, I know, I said. As soon as it was coming out of my mouth, I was like, no, that's not right. And I'm also waving at nothing. I know. Old habits are hard to break. You know, it's been a struggle for us. Transition is difficult. Okay, everybody struggles with it. But we can do it. We might do it.

1:10:27 We don't know, like we already did it though we already switched to Thursday. We did Okay, we did it. We did it. We did it. I thought you just meant life in general we can do and I was like, we're doing it. That might be doing it. That's less certain, but Thursdays we already did. Yeah. Yeah, unless it turns into a Friday. Yeah, who knows