PNW Cryptid Dating Game!

100:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,740So we're not just gonna play any boring old dating game that you've seen before.200:00:08,740 --> 00:00:16,040We're going to play a PNW, cryptid dating game.300:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,040Happy Valentine's Day!400:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,040You're gonna be so fun.500:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,040You're gonna be so fun.600:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,040I mean, I'm so happy at the end, I promise.700:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,040Well, I shouldn't say you're getting a happy ending.800:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,040That might sound wrong, but anyway.900:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,040Hi!1000:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,040Hi!1100:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,040Hi, Caitlyn!1200:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,040Hi, Cassie!1300:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,040Hi, creepy people!1400:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,040Hello!1500:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,040It's me!1600:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,040And me!1700:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,040And Caitlyn.1800:00:38,040 --> 00:00:39,040Yeah.1900:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,040But also me, I'm back!2000:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,040Yay!2100:00:41,040 --> 00:00:54,040I have an episode for you guys, because Caitlyn just tried to hog up two episodes.2200:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,040Yeah.2300:00:55,040 --> 00:01:00,840We all know how we feel about Caitlyn's episodes.2400:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,800It's some real Leo energy up in here.2500:01:03,800 --> 00:01:04,800No, we love her.2600:01:04,800 --> 00:01:11,120She does good work, but it's time for a break, because, oh, this is PNW Haunts and Homicides.2700:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,120Oh, shit.2800:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,120Yeah.2900:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,120Sorry, guys.3000:01:14,120 --> 00:01:19,120In case you didn't know, PNW stands for Pacific Northwest.3100:01:19,120 --> 00:01:23,960So we primarily cover cases based in the Pacific Northwest.3200:01:23,960 --> 00:01:24,960Yeah.3300:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,960In case you didn't know.3400:01:26,960 --> 00:01:27,960Now you know.3500:01:27,960 --> 00:01:28,960Now you know.3600:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,880The more you know.3700:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,200But it's time for a little fun.3800:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,200Because it's Valentine's Day.3900:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,700Ah!4000:01:36,700 --> 00:01:40,820Even if you don't celebrate it, I think you're going to really enjoy this episode.4100:01:40,820 --> 00:01:43,560It is a little theme-y.4200:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,560But it's fun.4300:01:44,560 --> 00:01:45,560I'm on board.4400:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,880She was so on board.4500:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,880She was on board as soon.4600:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,520The moment I mentioned it, she was like, yes.4700:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,040She was doing it.4800:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,600I really, really, really got on board.4900:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,600She did.5000:01:59,600 --> 00:02:04,040She had all these crazy ideas that just weren't going to work out.5100:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,040That's maybe next time.5200:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,040Maybe next time.5300:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,040Maybe next time.5400:02:07,040 --> 00:02:08,040Maybe next time.5500:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,920But she lit the fire in her butt, and I went and did a thing.5600:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,720So we're going to have some fun today.5700:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,480This is all make-believe.5800:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,960This is all fun and games.5900:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,560This isn't real.6000:02:19,560 --> 00:02:20,880Just so everyone's clear.6100:02:20,880 --> 00:02:21,880It's real.6200:02:21,880 --> 00:02:27,000I'll probably say it again later on when you'll know what I'm talking about.6300:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,000So.6400:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,520It's real.6500:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,280I wouldn't say that.6600:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,200So today we're going to play a little game.6700:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,080We're going to play a little dating game.6800:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,720Like- oh, okay, a dating game.6900:02:40,720 --> 00:02:41,720Not like a-7000:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,360Would you like to play a game?7100:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,960No, not like a saw game.7200:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,600It's not a scary episode.7300:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,600Okay.7400:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,680But we're going to play a little dating game.7500:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,400Unfortunately, we didn't really know any single people.7600:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,320So we're just going to sub in Caitlyn.7700:02:56,320 --> 00:02:57,320Okay.7800:02:57,320 --> 00:02:58,320Disclaimer.7900:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,680Caitlin is not single.8000:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,480Like at all.8100:03:03,480 --> 00:03:04,480Period.8200:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,480End of story.8300:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,080We're just having fun.8400:03:07,080 --> 00:03:11,000So please, no one's light into her DMs.8500:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,720And Chris, don't hate me.8600:03:14,720 --> 00:03:15,720Look at that.8700:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,640Oh, she's super protective of me.8800:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,640Just looking out.8900:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,040You know, I don't want-9000:03:20,040 --> 00:03:23,120I don't want anyone to get too excited that you're on the market.9100:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,480Oh, yeah.9200:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,200I'm sure they're clamoring at the-9300:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,480All of the places.9400:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,480We had some-9500:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,720We had some people clamoring.9600:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,560Oh, boy.9700:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,960Wait, this is news to me.9800:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,360I don't know if I'll call them people, but we'll get into it.9900:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,400Oh, boy.10000:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,360Okay.10100:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,880So we're not just going to play any boring old dating game10200:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,120that you've seen before.10300:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,520We're going to play a PNW.10400:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,440Cryptid Dating Game.10500:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,360Yeah.10600:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,280Don't act surprised.10700:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,520You already knew.10800:03:55,520 --> 00:04:00,600Well, I was a little bit unsure as to whether or not it was going to happen.10900:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,560It's happening, baby.11000:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,920Happy Valentine's Day.11100:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,480It's still in my life.11200:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,480You're going to get so fun.11300:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,680You're going to get so fun at the end, I promise.11400:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,640Well, I shouldn't say you're getting a happy ending.11500:04:13,640 --> 00:04:17,320That might sound wrong, but anyway.11600:04:17,320 --> 00:04:24,240So the definition of cryptid in case anyone doesn't know is an animal, such as Sasquatch or the11700:04:24,240 --> 00:04:29,640Lochness monster that has been claimed to exist but never proven to exist.11800:04:29,640 --> 00:04:30,640Okay.11900:04:30,640 --> 00:04:31,640Okay.12000:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,360So just so we're all clear what the definition of cryptid is.12100:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,440Just keep that rattling around back there.12200:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,440Mm-hmm.12300:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,200Welcome to PNW.12400:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,600Cryptid Dating Game.12500:04:44,600 --> 00:04:53,680Caitlyn, come on down.12600:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,320How was that for my game announcer voice?12700:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,480I love it.12800:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,560You're channeling some Bob Barker.12900:05:01,560 --> 00:05:02,560Something.13000:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,560Caitlyn's something.13100:05:03,560 --> 00:05:09,120I will not do that the whole time I promised, but maybe one more time.13200:05:09,120 --> 00:05:15,040Caitlyn is a fun, sassy, sexy single looking for her perfect cryptid match.13300:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,040Ooh.13400:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,040Okay, I'm done.13500:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,040That was it.13600:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,800I liked it.13700:05:19,800 --> 00:05:25,320So I'm not going to tell Caitlyn or anyone who the elusive bachelors are.13800:05:25,320 --> 00:05:30,400So we're going to have three rounds and we will get to know our four elusive bachelors.13900:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,400Ooh.14000:05:31,400 --> 00:05:36,480Let me tell you, tracking these guys down for questioning was not easy, but once I started14100:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,720a float, Caitlyn's photo around.14200:05:38,720 --> 00:05:39,720I had them.14300:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,680It's the one on the fridge, you know what I was going to say.14400:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,320How old is this photo?14500:05:47,320 --> 00:05:53,560And at the end, Caitlyn will pick which one she thinks would fit her best.14600:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,560Who am I?14700:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,560Yeah.14800:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,080Who are cryptid mans.14900:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,280Match man's is.15000:05:59,280 --> 00:06:04,080Again, this is all make believe.15100:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,080Okay.15200:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,840I mean, it's real.15300:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,680You're going to have a cryptid in your bed.15400:06:09,680 --> 00:06:13,560Watch out, Chris.15500:06:13,560 --> 00:06:19,200So we'll still do the tarot read at the end and it will be for whoever she picks what his15600:06:19,200 --> 00:06:26,200intentions are with her with my daughter with my daughter with my adult daughter.15700:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,320So that's how we'll do that.15800:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,320Okay.15900:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,520So I get a little bit of a reading on this love man.16000:06:32,520 --> 00:06:33,520Yeah, exactly.16100:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,520Okay.16200:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,520Are you excited?16300:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,520I'm so excited.16400:06:36,520 --> 00:06:37,520Okay.16500:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,560And one, here we go.16600:06:41,560 --> 00:06:48,160Each bachelor answered seven identical questions and one random question to keep things interesting.16700:06:48,160 --> 00:06:53,680Oh, all of the questions and things I'm going to talk about in the rounds are all clues16800:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,800to who these cryptids might be.16900:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,800That makes sense.17000:06:57,800 --> 00:06:58,800Okay.17100:06:58,800 --> 00:06:59,800Okay.17200:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,080So bachelor number one, first question.17300:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,160What is your biggest insecurity?17400:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,440And he says kissing can be quite a challenge.17500:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,440Oh.17600:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,440Okay.17700:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,440Yeah.17800:07:12,440 --> 00:07:16,280Not really sure what that means, but me either take that how you want.17900:07:16,280 --> 00:07:17,280Okay.18000:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,960Question number two, what is your favorite color?18100:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,920And he says black, which I say same.18200:07:22,920 --> 00:07:23,920Okay.18300:07:23,920 --> 00:07:24,920I say same.18400:07:24,920 --> 00:07:25,920Alendable.18500:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,880I just have this debate with somebody the other day because they were asking me my favorite18600:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,400color and I couldn't pick.18700:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,200So I just say black because that's like all the colors together, right?18800:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,440Oh, that's very true.18900:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,440Yeah.19000:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,440Okay.19100:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,440That's a thinker.19200:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,000Maybe we have something in common.19300:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,320Maybe I should be on the stating.19400:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,320I know.19500:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,640Come on.19600:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,600Question number three, what is your biggest fear?19700:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,120He says fire.19800:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,120Okay.19900:07:51,120 --> 00:07:55,680I mean, I'm not sure that we're compatible then.20000:07:55,680 --> 00:07:56,680That's true.20100:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,680That's true.20200:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,680Okay.20300:07:58,680 --> 00:07:59,680All right.20400:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,800The fourth question is a fun one.20500:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,920What is your favorite sexual position?20600:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,240Who says missionary?20700:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,240Okay.20800:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,240Okay.20900:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,240We'll have vanilla.21000:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,240We'll have vanilla.21100:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,240But that's okay.21200:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,240All right.21300:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,240You do you.21400:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,840Question number five, what is your ideal date?21500:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,520He says abuffee.21600:08:18,520 --> 00:08:23,480It's the easiest way to keep him in cheap date because he has a rather large appetite.21700:08:23,480 --> 00:08:24,480Okay.21800:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,760So does that mean he assumes that you're paying?21900:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,720I maybe.22000:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,120It sounds like that's a possibility.22100:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,040It's calling himself a cheap date.22200:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,040Eh-huh.22300:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,040Uh-huh.22400:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,040Listen, call yourself whatever you want.22500:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,720Don't call me a cheap date.22600:08:40,720 --> 00:08:45,560That's how do you feel about the phase?22700:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,560Um.22800:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,560Yeah.22900:08:47,560 --> 00:08:53,000I mean, I feel like I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on, I mean, how much time do we23000:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000have?23100:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000Probably not that much.23200:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000Not that much.23300:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000Okay.23400:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,000Okay.23500:08:58,000 --> 00:08:58,000I'm surprised you're not taking notes on these guys.23600:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,000Well, I thought about it.23700:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,680But then I was like, is that cheating?23800:09:01,680 --> 00:09:02,680I don't think it's cheating.23900:09:02,680 --> 00:09:03,680It's cheating.24000:09:03,680 --> 00:09:04,680Okay.24100:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,680I mean, if you really want to, I mean, I'm going to.24200:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,680She's taking notes.24300:09:07,680 --> 00:09:08,680Oh, no.24400:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,680I don't know if I'm right.24500:09:09,680 --> 00:09:10,680Where's the notebook?24600:09:10,680 --> 00:09:11,680Okay.24700:09:11,680 --> 00:09:12,680Hold on.24800:09:12,680 --> 00:09:15,680Continue way.24900:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,480Question number six, what is your best quality?25000:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,040Oh, you might like this one, Caitlin.25100:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,720He says protective like a bodyguard.25200:09:22,720 --> 00:09:23,720Okay.25300:09:23,720 --> 00:09:24,720Okay.25400:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,400So that sounds pretty good.25500:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,640That might make up for some other things.25600:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,560I mean, it would have to.25700:09:32,560 --> 00:09:33,560It would have to.25800:09:33,560 --> 00:09:34,560Okay.25900:09:34,560 --> 00:09:39,080Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?26000:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,080Ooh.26100:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,880He says oversized fluffy sweaters.26200:09:42,880 --> 00:09:47,280Oh, that is so pure.26300:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,280Okay.26400:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,280All right.26500:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,000And question number eight is kind of the rotating random question.26600:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,240It is, what is your favorite scent?26700:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,560And he says burnt trees.26800:09:59,560 --> 00:10:00,560Huh.26900:10:00,560 --> 00:10:04,840Do you have any guesses on who this is?27000:10:04,840 --> 00:10:05,840No.27100:10:05,840 --> 00:10:06,840No, I don't.27200:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,840Actually.27300:10:07,840 --> 00:10:08,840Actually.27400:10:08,840 --> 00:10:09,840All right.27500:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,840Are you ready for bachelor number two?27600:10:11,840 --> 00:10:12,840Yes.27700:10:12,840 --> 00:10:13,840I think.27800:10:13,840 --> 00:10:14,840You are.27900:10:14,840 --> 00:10:15,840Okay.28000:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,840Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity?28100:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,680Bachelor number two says that people think he's a myth.28200:10:23,680 --> 00:10:24,680Okay.28300:10:24,680 --> 00:10:25,680Okay.28400:10:25,680 --> 00:10:30,680I'm sure that's pretty common amongst the cryptid society.28500:10:30,680 --> 00:10:31,680You know?28600:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,680Yeah.28700:10:32,680 --> 00:10:33,680Okay.28800:10:33,680 --> 00:10:34,680Yeah.28900:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,720Question number two, what is your favorite color?29000:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,680He says anything shiny.29100:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,680Okay.29200:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,680I mean, same.29300:10:40,680 --> 00:10:41,960Who does he think he is?29400:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,280The crab from Moana.29500:10:43,280 --> 00:10:44,280Shiny.29600:10:44,280 --> 00:10:51,200Question number three, what is your biggest fear?29700:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,840And he says salt.29800:10:52,840 --> 00:10:53,840Salt.29900:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,840Okay.30000:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,000Which, that's kind of interesting.30100:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000Huh.30200:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000Okay.30300:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000Huh.30400:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000Huh.30500:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,000Huh.30600:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,840Number four, the good question.30700:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,280What is your favorite sexual position?30800:11:09,280 --> 00:11:15,600He says the submarine, which I don't encourage anyone to Google.30900:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,840Question number five, what is your ideal date?31000:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,840He says a day on the lake.31100:11:20,840 --> 00:11:21,840Uh-huh.31200:11:21,840 --> 00:11:22,840Yeah.31300:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,840Sweet.31400:11:23,840 --> 00:11:29,440You're going to, are there submarines in this lake?31500:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,240You know, here's the thing.31600:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,320This guy's clearly got a thing with water.31700:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,320Clearly.31800:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,320Okay.31900:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,320Clearly.32000:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,760Question number six, what is your best quality?32100:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,120He says I'm a strong swimmer.32200:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,120Uh-huh.32300:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,120Yeah.32400:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,120Okay.32500:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,120All right.32600:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,040So I think you nailed the water, the water part.32700:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,040Yeah.32800:11:49,040 --> 00:11:53,240Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?32900:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,240He says small animals.33000:11:55,240 --> 00:11:59,320Oh, see, he's got some good qualities.33100:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,280But I feel like I want to know why.33200:12:01,280 --> 00:12:09,360Well, he goes on to say they feel so good, they smell so good and they, okay, well, things33300:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,840get weird here and I think we're just going to sweat a lot.33400:12:12,840 --> 00:12:13,840Okay.33500:12:13,840 --> 00:12:14,840The small animals.33600:12:14,840 --> 00:12:15,840Okay.33700:12:15,840 --> 00:12:19,080Question number eight, what is your biggest pet peeve?33800:12:19,080 --> 00:12:25,280He says when someone is immortalized for no reason and has nothing of value to offer in return,33900:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,560wow, I feel like we hit a nerve.34000:12:28,560 --> 00:12:29,560Okay.34100:12:29,560 --> 00:12:30,720Yeah.34200:12:30,720 --> 00:12:31,720Someone is sensitive.34300:12:31,720 --> 00:12:36,560Yeah, that's a real, um, how do I put this nicely?34400:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,000Oh, wait, I don't care.34500:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,160Um, that's a real in-sell vibe.34600:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,160Yeah.34700:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,160I feel like.34800:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,160Interesting.34900:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,160Yeah.35000:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,160Okay.35100:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,680Are you ready to move on to bachelor number three?35200:12:46,680 --> 00:12:50,920I mean, we probably should.35300:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,000Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity?35400:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,600He says people often mistake him for someone else.35500:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,600Oh.35600:12:58,600 --> 00:13:04,080Well, you know what happens to the best of us?35700:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,320Question number two, what is your favorite color?35800:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,320He says blue.35900:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,320Okay.36000:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,320Oh, like that.36100:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,840Oh, like blue.36200:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,720What's your favorite color, Caitlin?36300:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,240I think probably gray or black.36400:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,240Okay.36500:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,240Or rose gold.36600:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,240Yeah.36700:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,240Or rose gold.36800:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,240See, it's hard to choose.36900:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,240Yeah.37000:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,240I can't choose.37100:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,360I don't know.37200:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,400Question number three, what is your biggest fear?37300:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,680He says bright lights and crowds.37400:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,680And I say preach.37500:13:30,680 --> 00:13:31,680Same.37600:13:31,680 --> 00:13:36,200Question number four, what is your favorite sexual position?37700:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,680Are we ready for this one?37800:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,160I mean, probably not, but let's do it.37900:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,760He says anything on the inversion table, baby.38000:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,880I don't really know what to put in my notes here.38100:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,200He likes to be upside down.38200:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,200Okay.38300:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,200So, um, all right.38400:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,120I don't think that that's that kinky.38500:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,120That's no submarine.38600:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,120Let me tell you.38700:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,120That's not a kink.38800:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,120That's a great move.38900:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,120Ooh.39000:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,120Against humanity.39100:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,120Yeah.39200:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,440Question number five, what is your ideal date?39300:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,960He says flying out of town for dinner.39400:14:07,960 --> 00:14:08,960Okay.39500:14:08,960 --> 00:14:09,960Okay.39600:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,960Christian gray.39700:14:10,960 --> 00:14:11,960Right.39800:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,720Maybe he has a little kinky.39900:14:13,720 --> 00:14:18,120Question number six, what is your best quality?40000:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,000He says his eyes.40100:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,520They're big and bright.40200:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,960You could even say they glow.40300:14:23,960 --> 00:14:24,960Okay.40400:14:24,960 --> 00:14:25,960Interesting.40500:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,440Sounds nice though.40600:14:29,440 --> 00:14:34,280Big, bright glowing eyes could be quite striking.40700:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,040The way you say that, I feel like that's pointed.40800:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,280I'm not saying it.40900:14:38,280 --> 00:14:44,320I have no biased towards any of these bachelors.41000:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,320Okay.41100:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,360I'm just reading their questions.41200:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,280They answered them.41300:14:49,280 --> 00:14:54,680They made them up, not me.41400:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,160Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?41500:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,760He said some rad 80s vibes.41600:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,560I like this guy.41700:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,560Okay.41800:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,000Well, I'm going to be setting you up.41900:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000Yeah.42000:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000Maybe I can get his number.42100:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,440If you don't pick him.42200:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,320Okay.42300:15:11,320 --> 00:15:15,320Question number eight, are you a knight owl or an early bird?42400:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,320Hmm.42500:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,320He says neither.42600:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,320But I do prefer the knight.42700:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,320Okay.42800:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,880So, um.42900:15:24,880 --> 00:15:31,880So like tell me you don't know how to answer questions without telling me.43000:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,680I mean, maybe there's something in there.43100:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,320Maybe it's some sort of clue.43200:15:35,320 --> 00:15:40,120Yeah, that's what I gather, but I gathered very little.43300:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,120I don't know.43400:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,080Let's move on to Bachelor number four.43500:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,640Our final bachelor.43600:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,880Question number one, what is your biggest insecurity?43700:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,160He says nothing.43800:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,160Okay.43900:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,160I see you.44000:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,160I see you.44100:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,160An interesting start.44200:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,160Okay.44300:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,160All right.44400:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,160Question number two, what is your favorite color?44500:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,160He says orange.44600:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,160It's nice color.44700:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,160I like orange.44800:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,200I'm getting a real fuck boy vibe here.44900:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,080Question number three, what is your biggest fear?45000:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,400He says becoming irrelevant.45100:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,400Okay.45200:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,400Yeah.45300:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,360I stand by my previous statement.45400:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,840Ready for question number four?45500:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,840I mean, sure.45600:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,760What is your favorite sexual position?45700:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,040He says cowgirl.45800:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,040Uh-huh.45900:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,040Yeah.46000:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,040Called that one.46100:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,040Okay.46200:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,200Question number five, what is your ideal date?46300:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,680He says something adventurous like white water rafting.46400:16:32,680 --> 00:16:33,680Huh.46500:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,680Okay.46600:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,280Question number six, what is your best quality?46700:16:38,280 --> 00:16:42,080He says there's a beer named after me.46800:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,040I don't know if that's your quality, bro.46900:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,040But okay.47000:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,040Okay.47100:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,040Okay.47200:16:48,040 --> 00:16:52,560Question number seven, what stimulates your serotonin?47300:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,080He says ultra long scarves.47400:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,080Okay.47500:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,080Okay.47600:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,080All right.47700:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,080Listen.47800:16:59,080 --> 00:17:05,600Listen, I'm really trying to take detailed notes.47900:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,480This is, I mean, there's a lot of clues.48000:17:09,480 --> 00:17:14,880Honestly, this feels like higher stakes than even our last election.48100:17:14,880 --> 00:17:15,880It might be.48200:17:15,880 --> 00:17:16,880Yeah.48300:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,880This is a very important choice.48400:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,880Ready for the last question?48500:17:20,880 --> 00:17:21,880Okay.48600:17:21,880 --> 00:17:27,840If asked on a date to a wedding, do you choose the chicken or the fish?48700:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,840He says fish all day.48800:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,840Oh, man.48900:17:30,840 --> 00:17:31,840Okay.49000:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,840I'm surprised he didn't say fish.49100:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,840Bo show.49200:17:37,840 --> 00:17:38,840Okay.49300:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,840So we've reached round number two.49400:17:42,840 --> 00:17:43,840Okay.49500:17:43,840 --> 00:17:49,520So we're going to get to know a little bit about each of our four bachelors from the perspective49600:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,720of someone who has been close to them.49700:17:52,720 --> 00:17:53,720Bachelor number one.49800:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,680You ready?49900:17:56,680 --> 00:18:01,640I had a very, very lovely talk with bachelor number one's mom.50000:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,640She couldn't figure out how to use the email.50100:18:03,640 --> 00:18:08,520So she had me talk to her on the phone and just like relay the message.50200:18:08,520 --> 00:18:16,520So she says my boo boo has an explosive personality, which is funny because we were talking about50300:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,280boo boo earlier.50400:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,200You don't even know bachelor number one's mom.50500:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,200So that's correct.50600:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,200I do.50700:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,360Boo boo theme is just natural.50800:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,360Okay.50900:18:28,360 --> 00:18:33,200She goes on to say, oh, he's going to hate me, but I called him Boo Boo in front of everybody,51000:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,000especially a pretty woman like Caitlin.51100:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000Uh oh.51200:18:37,000 --> 00:18:42,120Anyway, I think he could really use a lady in his life.51300:18:42,120 --> 00:18:47,280I always try to get him to stand top of the moisturizing, but he just doesn't seem to51400:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,440listen to me.51500:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,280She she rambled.51600:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,240Y'all, let me tell you.51700:18:53,240 --> 00:18:58,520She goes on to say, I think if he had a nice lady around to help him lotion his hard to reach51800:18:58,520 --> 00:19:03,080areas, you know, I think he would just be a little bit happier.51900:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,080Okay.52000:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,080Okay.52100:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,480So he's got some dry skin issues or something.52200:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,160Okay.52300:19:10,160 --> 00:19:15,080And of course to help him keep up with trimming those unruly eyebrows.52400:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,720Call your mother, boo boo.52500:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,720Oh boy.52600:19:19,720 --> 00:19:20,720Interesting.52700:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,760I think that helps Bachelor number one's chances at all.52800:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,240You know, no, not really.52900:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,320But if you want his mom's number, she's so nice.53000:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,080Oh yeah.53100:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,000Bachelor number two.53200:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,000This is from his ex girlfriend.53300:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,160She DMed us.53400:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,160Oh.53500:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,480So she said, "Augie was sweet, but it just didn't work out.53600:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,720He had this weird obsession with the Loch Ness Monster.53700:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,880It was like he was jealous that Nessie got more attention.53800:19:48,880 --> 00:19:49,880Okay.53900:19:49,880 --> 00:19:55,920I feel like the nerve that we poked earlier might make a little more sense."54000:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,240Yeah.54100:19:57,240 --> 00:20:02,400She said Nessie had more books, movies, news stories, podcast episodes, and merch.54200:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,200So much merch.54300:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,240Plus, there was that incident with my Chihuahua.54400:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,240Okay.54500:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,240Interesting.54600:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,240What happened here?54700:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,240Chihuahua.54800:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,240Not a dog per se in her.54900:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,840I don't know.55000:20:16,840 --> 00:20:20,560He really liked the small animals.55100:20:20,560 --> 00:20:25,280Like probably as a snack, like a little appetizer.55200:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,520I don't know.55300:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,800I guess we'll find out.55400:20:28,800 --> 00:20:29,800Okay.55500:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,720Bachelor number three.55600:20:32,720 --> 00:20:37,280Sadly, Bachelor number three doesn't have any close friends or family.55700:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,320So there was no one to reach out to.55800:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,320But great.55900:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,600That's sort of a clue on his personality as well.56000:20:43,600 --> 00:20:49,040Bachelor number four, your favorite.56100:20:49,040 --> 00:20:53,680This came via text message from his childhood best friend.56200:20:53,680 --> 00:20:58,520I'm going to read the text messages as they came in.56300:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,520They were all separate.56400:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,520There's typos.56500:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,520Oh great.56600:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,520Perfect.56700:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,720Off to a great start.56800:21:07,720 --> 00:21:12,920The first text, "CC was my BFF growing up the up arrow."56900:21:12,920 --> 00:21:13,920Oh great.57000:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,920Okay.57100:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,000Next, we use two.57200:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,920The number two, hang over Al, he Tim.57300:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,920Which, oh okay.57400:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,080He says duck you, auto correct.57500:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,920Hang out all the time.57600:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,920Astrid.57700:21:29,920 --> 00:21:30,920Okay.57800:21:30,920 --> 00:21:31,920Great.57900:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,440Next text message.58000:21:35,440 --> 00:21:42,480But FYI, they named some sort of hipster with no e, beer emoji after him.58100:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,480Okay.58200:21:43,480 --> 00:21:44,480Oh, huh.58300:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,560Yeah, seems like we've heard about that before.58400:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,560Interesting.58500:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,560Yeah.58600:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,560That's a theme.58700:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,560Okay.58800:21:52,560 --> 00:22:01,200Now he thinks he's too good for everyone, IMO, and a bunch of exclamation points.58900:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,520That is, that's tough.59000:22:03,520 --> 00:22:04,520He keeps going.59100:22:04,520 --> 00:22:11,480SMHWTF is up again, the up arrow, wit, that, and an angry face.59200:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,880Yeah, that feels like a lot.59300:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,080It feels like a lot.59400:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,920And then again, but IDC, which means I don't care, I think.59500:22:19,920 --> 00:22:20,920Yeah.59600:22:20,920 --> 00:22:25,400I know, and oh, deep with a lot of ease.59700:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,160That's a lot.59800:22:27,160 --> 00:22:33,880I know deep down, like 180 feet down, every TBT, that's throwback Thursday.59900:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,800He thinks of doing corkscrews in the Columbia with me.60000:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,800Aww.60100:22:38,800 --> 00:22:43,400So this guy seems sweet in the end, maybe you should get his number.60200:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,640Uh, yeah, we'll see.60300:22:45,640 --> 00:22:46,640Okay.60400:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,040Sound like there was some clues in there though.60500:22:49,040 --> 00:22:54,440I mean, I would, I would think so, but.60600:22:54,440 --> 00:23:00,680Well, are you ready for round number three, because I think you're going to really like60700:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,680it.60800:23:01,680 --> 00:23:02,680Okay.60900:23:02,680 --> 00:23:03,680Yeah.61000:23:03,680 --> 00:23:04,680Okay.61100:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,680I hope so.61200:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,960So the bachelor's gave me a little something to give to you.61300:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,960Oh boy.61400:23:10,960 --> 00:23:11,960Okay.61500:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,200So this first gift is from bachelor number one.61600:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,800Oh, it's so cute.61700:23:15,800 --> 00:23:16,800Okay.61800:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,200Let's see what's in here.61900:23:19,200 --> 00:23:20,200Chocolate.62000:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,200Oh.62100:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,200Sorry.62200:23:22,200 --> 00:23:29,240I got hungry, but I heard you didn't even like chocolate.62300:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,240Okay.62400:23:30,240 --> 00:23:37,240Okay.62500:23:37,240 --> 00:23:41,480So I mean, you know, it's empty, but he did wrap it.62600:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,480He did.62700:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,480Yeah.62800:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,480I mean, the thought is the thought that your count's right?62900:23:44,480 --> 00:23:45,480Okay.63000:23:45,480 --> 00:23:46,480Okay.63100:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,480This is from bachelor number two.63200:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,480Okay.63300:23:48,480 --> 00:23:49,480All right.63400:23:49,480 --> 00:23:50,480Oh, is there?63500:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,480Okay.63600:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,480Let's see.63700:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,480All right.63800:23:53,480 --> 00:23:54,480Oh boy.63900:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,480Oh.64000:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,480Oh.64100:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,480Oh.64200:23:57,480 --> 00:23:58,480Oh.64300:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,480It's too blurry.64400:23:59,480 --> 00:23:59,480How sweet.64500:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,480It's so pretty.64600:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,480Right.64700:24:01,480 --> 00:24:02,480That he does.64800:24:02,480 --> 00:24:09,600Clearly a very effestive heart, Marty Grobids.64900:24:09,600 --> 00:24:14,480It's kind of a two-fer because you could really use these for two different holidays every65000:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,480year.65100:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,480Yeah.65200:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,200Beautiful, beautiful jewelry.65300:24:20,200 --> 00:24:24,480I'm sure if he wasn't on a budget, he would get you something nicer.65400:24:24,480 --> 00:24:31,480That's what they all say.65500:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,480Okay.65600:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,480From bachelor number three.65700:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,480A door up all.65800:24:35,480 --> 00:24:36,480I'm scared.65900:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,480Okay.66000:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,480Oh.66100:24:38,480 --> 00:24:39,480A charging cord.66200:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,480It's a phone charger.66300:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,480Interesting.66400:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,480Okay.66500:24:43,480 --> 00:24:44,480Okay.66600:24:44,480 --> 00:24:45,480A shark.66700:24:45,480 --> 00:24:46,480Oh.66800:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,480That's the line number four's gift.66900:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,480It's heavy.67000:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,480That is it.67100:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,480What is it, Kate?67200:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,480Later.67300:24:56,480 --> 00:24:57,480Colossal.67400:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,480Oh.67500:24:58,480 --> 00:24:59,480Wow.67600:24:59,480 --> 00:25:00,480No, that's cheating.67700:25:00,480 --> 00:25:01,480See.67800:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,480See.67900:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,480It definitely seems like it.68000:25:05,480 --> 00:25:12,600Well, it seems as though we have a little cheater amongst us who just can keep their mouth shut68100:25:12,600 --> 00:25:13,600about themselves.68200:25:13,600 --> 00:25:14,600So.68300:25:14,600 --> 00:25:20,480So this is interesting because I feel like this is kind of a giveaway.68400:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,480Yeah.68500:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,480A little bit.68600:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,480A little bit because it's spoiler alert.68700:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,480A can of beer.68800:25:26,480 --> 00:25:27,480Yes.68900:25:27,480 --> 00:25:28,480It is the can of beer.69000:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,480The can of beer.69100:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,480The has been mentioned.69200:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,480That's a close guy.69300:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,480Colossal.69400:25:32,480 --> 00:25:33,480Claude.69500:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,480Oh.69600:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,480That's bitch.69700:25:35,480 --> 00:25:39,480Keep believe he did that.69800:25:39,480 --> 00:25:45,480But it says dedicated to fishing stories.69900:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,480Oh.70000:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,480Right on the front of this can.70100:25:49,480 --> 00:25:57,160The word has it that after years of terrifying sailors and feasting on salmon, he acquired a taste70200:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,760for hops.70300:25:58,760 --> 00:26:08,520So we brewed this imperial IPA with a colossal dose of cascade, shanook, citra and strata hops.70400:26:08,520 --> 00:26:13,480In hopes of coaxing, Claude out to join us for a pint.70500:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,480Oh.70600:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,480Okay.70700:26:15,480 --> 00:26:22,600So this if this is like his profile pick on Tinder, like which way are we swiping?70800:26:22,600 --> 00:26:23,600That's up to you.70900:26:23,600 --> 00:26:24,600Okay.71000:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,600This is your dating game, baby.71100:26:25,600 --> 00:26:26,600Okay.71200:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,960Well, I mean, I have some really difficult decisions to make.71300:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,200I think at this point.71400:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,200So.71500:26:32,200 --> 00:26:37,360So I guess I don't need to ask you if you have any guesses who bachelor number four is.71600:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,600Because clearly it's colossal Claude.71700:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,600He gave it away.71800:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,200He gave him his damn self away.71900:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,200Yeah.72000:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,200He sure did.72100:26:44,200 --> 00:26:50,280How guesses on the others or do you just want to head around for and choose your mans?72200:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,800Yeah.72300:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,080I.72400:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,880This is a tough one.72500:26:56,880 --> 00:27:01,480I feel like I was getting a certain vibe about some of these.72600:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,200And now I might be more confused than ever.72700:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,200That was my goal.72800:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,200Yeah.72900:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,200Um.73000:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,200Yeah.73100:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,120I'm really not sure.73200:27:11,120 --> 00:27:12,120I don't know.73300:27:12,120 --> 00:27:13,120Okay.73400:27:13,120 --> 00:27:19,720Many of them are like the usual suspects we would see in the PNW or I think maybe one of73500:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,720the myths.73600:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,720I'm just, you know, it just feels too soon to say for sure.73700:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,720Okay.73800:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,720Okay.73900:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,720Round four.74000:27:27,720 --> 00:27:35,960You got to pick your ideal mate and then I will tell you all about every single one of74100:27:35,960 --> 00:27:36,960them.74200:27:36,960 --> 00:27:37,960Yeah.74300:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,600So this is a really tough one.74400:27:40,600 --> 00:27:45,400Um, normally I think number one, that would be a tempting choice.74500:27:45,400 --> 00:27:50,760Um, but I'm a little bit afraid about some of these answers here.74600:27:50,760 --> 00:27:51,760So.74700:27:51,760 --> 00:27:57,800Also, Caitlin, you're not really dating them.74800:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,440I mean, but listen, I take everything that I do very seriously.74900:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,440Seriously.75000:28:02,440 --> 00:28:03,440Seriously.75100:28:03,440 --> 00:28:04,440Yeah.75200:28:04,440 --> 00:28:05,440Yeah.75300:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,880I feel like Bachelor number two for sure is out because I have small animals and that's75400:28:09,880 --> 00:28:14,200going to be a, that's going to be a deal breaker for me.75500:28:14,200 --> 00:28:19,080Um, they gave them, you know, they stimulated his serotonin.75600:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,080I, yeah.75700:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,080It's like they would make him happy.75800:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,080Uh-huh.75900:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,080For how long?76000:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,080And in what form or fashion?76100:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,680Um, okay.76200:28:28,680 --> 00:28:29,680So.76300:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,080Oh my gosh.76400:28:31,080 --> 00:28:38,680Well, Clyde or Claude had the most terrible answers, but he's the one that I wanted, obviously.76500:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,680I know that's why I made him a douche.76600:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,680Yeah.76700:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,000I was like, I know it.76800:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,480I feel like realistically.76900:28:48,480 --> 00:28:49,480Okay.77000:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,480Okay.77100:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,320Moment of truth.77200:28:52,320 --> 00:28:57,280I think I'm going to go with number three.77300:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,280Number three.77400:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,280Wow.77500:29:00,280 --> 00:29:01,280That's a surprise.77600:29:01,280 --> 00:29:02,280Is it?77700:29:02,280 --> 00:29:03,280Okay.77800:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,280Okay.77900:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,280Are you ready to find out who your Bachelor is?78000:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,280Uh, sure.78100:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,280Okay.78200:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,280Bachelor number three is Bat Squatch.78300:29:13,280 --> 00:29:23,280I feel like it was a Squatch.78400:29:23,280 --> 00:29:28,880So Bat Squatch, you remember he was the one who got confused with someone else.78500:29:28,880 --> 00:29:29,880Yeah.78600:29:29,880 --> 00:29:30,880Bat Squatch.78700:29:30,880 --> 00:29:31,880Bat Squatch.78800:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,080I felt like I was picking that up.78900:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,080Okay.79000:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,680I was the only one that I felt like I had any clue on.79100:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,800So I'll tell you a little bit more about him.79200:29:40,800 --> 00:29:46,520He is rumored to have originated from the 1980 Mount St. Helens eruption.79300:29:46,520 --> 00:29:50,640Oh, but he has been spotted up and down the west coast.79400:29:50,640 --> 00:29:56,600He has described as basically a nine foot tall Sasquatch with blufer, huge bat wings and79500:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,600glowing eyes.79600:29:57,600 --> 00:29:58,600Okay.79700:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,600I remember I knew you liked the eyes.79800:30:00,600 --> 00:30:01,600Yeah.79900:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,400You were weird about it, but they rubbed off on you.80000:30:04,400 --> 00:30:09,640Like bats, they are nocturnal and despise the light.80100:30:09,640 --> 00:30:11,880They live solitary lives.80200:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,160So that's why you had no friends or family.80300:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,160Makes sense.80400:30:15,160 --> 00:30:19,240So I don't know why he wants a girlfriend, but you know, here we are.80500:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,640So I guess that's good if what?80600:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,840Oh, you know, what?80700:30:25,840 --> 00:30:30,560So I guess that's good that you won't see like a horde of flying monkeys coming at you.80800:30:30,560 --> 00:30:31,800Was it a Vastile?80900:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,800So, you know, yeah.81000:30:33,800 --> 00:30:39,120Yeah, because that's a nightmare fuel for sure.81100:30:39,120 --> 00:30:40,120Yeah, totally.81200:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,120Okay.81300:30:41,120 --> 00:30:45,440People who have witnessed a bat squash have reported battery drain.81400:30:45,440 --> 00:30:46,440Okay.81500:30:46,440 --> 00:30:52,760So it is very sweet of him to give you a phone charger for your date, so you don't lose81600:30:52,760 --> 00:30:53,760charge.81700:30:53,760 --> 00:30:54,760That makes sense.81800:30:54,760 --> 00:30:55,760Yeah.81900:30:55,760 --> 00:30:56,760Thoughtful.82000:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,760How thoughtful.82100:30:57,760 --> 00:30:58,760Yeah.82200:30:58,760 --> 00:30:59,760I can't even believe how thoughtful he is.82300:30:59,760 --> 00:31:00,760Yeah.82400:31:00,760 --> 00:31:04,520Well, do you want to hear about the rest of the contestants?82500:31:04,520 --> 00:31:05,760Okay.82600:31:05,760 --> 00:31:10,480We can go with colossal clods since we already clearly know who he is.82700:31:10,480 --> 00:31:11,480Dennis.82800:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,720Caitlyn actually requested him.82900:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,760So of course I had to make him unlikable.83000:31:16,760 --> 00:31:17,760Yeah.83100:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,120Because I knew she would just pick him.83200:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,400An absolute douche canoe.83300:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,480He was first spotted in the Columbia River in 1934.83400:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,480C.C.83500:31:27,480 --> 00:31:28,480C.C.83600:31:28,480 --> 00:31:33,880C.C.C.C. is a 15 to 40 foot long.83700:31:33,880 --> 00:31:40,600That's a big difference there, but 15 to 40 foot long with a round body snake like tail83800:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,720and eight foot long neck with a horse head.83900:31:43,720 --> 00:31:44,720Oh boy.84000:31:44,720 --> 00:31:45,720Yeah.84100:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,040So the ultra long scarves were for the eight foot long neck.84200:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,360I mean, that makes sense.84300:31:51,360 --> 00:31:56,400And I think I picked orange for his favorite color because if he has a horse head, maybe84400:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,080he likes, you know, the sea words.84500:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,720We can't say him because the dogs.84600:32:01,720 --> 00:32:02,720Oh, yeah.84700:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,520But you know, that makes sense.84800:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,520Those orange vegetables.84900:32:05,520 --> 00:32:06,520Those orange vegetables.85000:32:06,520 --> 00:32:07,520They're crunchy.85100:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,520That are crunchy.85200:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,960Some people think he might be a pleasy assort.85300:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,960Oh.85400:32:11,960 --> 00:32:15,520Which are extinct because that's a dinosaur.85500:32:15,520 --> 00:32:16,520Okay.85600:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,600But that's kind of the look of him, I guess.85700:32:18,600 --> 00:32:19,600Yeah.85800:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,400So then it's not extinct.85900:32:21,400 --> 00:32:22,400Right.86000:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,400If it was.86100:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,400Yeah.86200:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,800No, that are clouds, not that.86300:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,920And there's just there's no way to know.86400:32:28,920 --> 00:32:29,920He's his own thing.86500:32:29,920 --> 00:32:30,920Yeah.86600:32:30,920 --> 00:32:40,200Boy is he in 1963, the shell oil workers reported seeing CC 180 feet down, maneuvering in86700:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,920a corkscrew fashion.86800:32:42,920 --> 00:32:43,920So interest.86900:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,000That's what he likes to do.87000:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,200Corkscrews in the Columbia.87100:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,200Okay.87200:32:49,200 --> 00:32:54,280Some fishermen who had an encounter with him said he would steal 20 pound halibut87300:32:54,280 --> 00:32:55,720right off the line.87400:32:55,720 --> 00:32:59,000I mean, I would absolutely do that if I could.87500:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000Right.87600:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,320They're delicious.87700:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,320So well, too bad.87800:33:02,320 --> 00:33:03,320You didn't pick him.87900:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,320He could steal you some halibut.88000:33:05,320 --> 00:33:06,320Yeah.88100:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,360You know, he'd probably just talk about his beer the whole time.88200:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,360I know.88300:33:09,360 --> 00:33:10,360What do you do?88400:33:10,360 --> 00:33:14,400I mean, but what pairs better with fish and chips than a beer?88500:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,400Right.88600:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,560He's on something.88700:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,800Fun fact, I guess he's sometimes known as Marvin the Monster.88800:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,800Uh-huh.88900:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,120I didn't know.89000:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,080Fun fact, that's what I've heard.89100:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,920Never heard of it.89200:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,760It's all like old man names, too, which is kind of funny.89300:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,000It's a claw, Marvin.89400:33:38,000 --> 00:33:42,000So contestant number one was the Gumberoo.89500:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,120Have you heard of it?89600:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,720I cannot say that I have.89700:33:45,720 --> 00:33:46,720Okay.89800:33:46,720 --> 00:33:51,680I don't think he's found along the coast from Washington to California described as89900:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,920bear-like, but with no fur.90000:33:54,920 --> 00:33:55,920What?90100:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,160So that's why he likes the sweaters.90200:33:59,160 --> 00:34:00,160Oh.90300:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,160Okay.90400:34:01,160 --> 00:34:02,160Okay.90500:34:02,160 --> 00:34:07,120Instead, he has black leathery skin that is basically a shield.90600:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,120Okay.90700:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,800Protecting the Gumberoo even against bullets.90800:34:10,800 --> 00:34:11,800Wow.90900:34:11,800 --> 00:34:12,800So very tough.91000:34:12,800 --> 00:34:13,800Okay.91100:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,880Which I'm surprised you didn't pick him.91200:34:15,880 --> 00:34:16,880Yeah.91300:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,640Because he was the protective.91400:34:19,640 --> 00:34:20,640Yeah.91500:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,000He doesn't like fire.91600:34:22,000 --> 00:34:27,240I mean, he lives on the coast range and he doesn't want to do a fire on the beach.91700:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,160So like, there's a reason.91800:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,160I'll tell you.91900:34:30,160 --> 00:34:31,400All right.92000:34:31,400 --> 00:34:36,640Some speculate that the skin itself might not be black in color, but coated in the ash of92100:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,000his home, which is a burnt cedar tree.92200:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,120I was going to say he says he likes the smell of burnt trees.92300:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,920Because they remind him of home.92400:34:46,920 --> 00:34:47,920Oh.92500:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,520He's in a little burnt tree or a big burnt tree.92600:34:51,520 --> 00:34:52,520Not a little one.92700:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,520A little one.92800:34:54,520 --> 00:35:02,680Which is ironic that his home and his favorite scent are burnt, but he is scared of fire.92900:35:02,680 --> 00:35:03,680That's what I'm saying.93000:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,000So why is that?93100:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,400Fire is one of the only ways to kill a Gumberoo and they are apparently highly flammable.93200:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,400Oh, boy.93300:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,760So that's why he has the explosive personality.93400:35:15,760 --> 00:35:16,760Oh.93500:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,760Oh, no, son.93600:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,760Bobo.93700:35:19,760 --> 00:35:26,080He does have one other weakness and that's being bitten by another creature called the timber93800:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,080doodle.93900:35:27,080 --> 00:35:29,280Like a poodle?94000:35:29,280 --> 00:35:30,280I get.94100:35:30,280 --> 00:35:31,280I don't like it.94200:35:31,280 --> 00:35:32,280A timber poodle.94300:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,960I have no idea.94400:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,480That led me to believe he wouldn't like to be bitten at all.94500:35:38,480 --> 00:35:39,480Probably pretty vanilla.94600:35:39,480 --> 00:35:40,480Okay.94700:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,160So yeah, hence the missionaries.94800:35:42,160 --> 00:35:43,760I see where I see.94900:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,320Oh, I follow.95000:35:46,320 --> 00:35:47,320She gets it.95100:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,120She gets me.95200:35:50,120 --> 00:35:57,600He also has, as I alluded to in the very first question, and this is a very scientific term,95300:35:57,600 --> 00:36:01,160a sh*t on of very sharp teeth.95400:36:01,160 --> 00:36:02,160Oh.95500:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,760So yeah, it might make kissing a little heart.95600:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,880I, yeah, I could see that.95700:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,200I feel like it would be like an Edward Scissor Hands situation.95800:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,200Yeah.95900:36:11,200 --> 00:36:12,200But like with your mouth.96000:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,200Yeah.96100:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,200Not ideal.96200:36:14,200 --> 00:36:15,200Did you like my Scissor Hands?96300:36:15,200 --> 00:36:16,200I was doing Scissor Hands.96400:36:16,200 --> 00:36:21,160Did you look like you were doing finger guns again?96500:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,080Who knows?96600:36:23,080 --> 00:36:27,800All those teeth probably help him out because he does have an insatiable appetite.96700:36:27,800 --> 00:36:33,600I mean, clearly he ate all of his lovely dates chocolates.96800:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,840Who does that?96900:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,360He will eat anything that even looks like food.97000:36:38,360 --> 00:36:42,520So I'd watch out for all those food-shaped items we like to carry around.97100:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,480Yes, I'm talking to you, Miss Pizza Purse.97200:36:44,480 --> 00:36:49,000So good thing you didn't pick him and bring your pizza purse and your dog.97300:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,720He would have been, you would have just been gone, girl.97400:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,480He's like a hot dog and a pizza.97500:36:54,480 --> 00:36:55,480Oh no.97600:36:55,480 --> 00:37:00,480You can put them in the little hot dog Halloween costume.97700:37:00,480 --> 00:37:01,720Oh god.97800:37:01,720 --> 00:37:05,960No, I think that's a bachelor number two.97900:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,120Right.98000:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,560And how can I forget the Eugene Levy?98100:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,760That's not his name.98200:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,240Oh, yeah.98300:37:15,240 --> 00:37:19,280And how can I forget the Eugene Levy eyebrows and porcupine chin?98400:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,280Oh boy.98500:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,280Very hot.98600:37:21,280 --> 00:37:22,280That's very hot.98700:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,080That is a lot.98800:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,880Also, another fun fact, very PNW.98900:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,880This story originated with lumberjacks.99000:37:30,880 --> 00:37:31,880Huh.99100:37:31,880 --> 00:37:32,880Yeah.99200:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,320That makes sense though.99300:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,320Out in the trees.99400:37:36,320 --> 00:37:37,320Yeah.99500:37:37,320 --> 00:37:38,320Yeah.99600:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,320Bachelor number two is Ogo Pogo.99700:37:41,320 --> 00:37:43,320Ogo Pogo.99800:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,200Have you heard of him?99900:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,320It sounds so familiar.100000:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,160It's an interesting one.100100:37:49,160 --> 00:37:50,160Uh huh.100200:37:50,160 --> 00:37:55,640Ogo Pogo dwells in Okanagan Lake in Kelona, British Columbia.100300:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,080Yeah, he does.100400:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,720And no one else is going to know, but that took me a ridiculously long amount of time to100500:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,320say that whole sentence.100600:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,320It's been 10 minutes.100700:38:07,320 --> 00:38:08,320Oh god.100800:38:08,320 --> 00:38:09,320Okay.100900:38:09,320 --> 00:38:14,760He's described as some sort of serpent or dragon creature.101000:38:14,760 --> 00:38:20,520The legend is that the sea of Okanagan people who were native to the land gave offerings101100:38:20,520 --> 00:38:24,880to Ogo Pogo in return for safe passage across the lake.101200:38:24,880 --> 00:38:25,880Yes.101300:38:25,880 --> 00:38:32,280And, and guess what the offering was?101400:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,520Live small animals.101500:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,720No, thank you.101600:38:35,720 --> 00:38:41,400Other people would start to bring their precious metals and jewelry to peace, Ogo Pogo.101700:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,880Yes.101800:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,240Instead of the live sacrifices.101900:38:45,240 --> 00:38:51,200Actually, the origin of this cryptid is most likely a misunderstanding due to language102000:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,200barriers.102100:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,200Huh.102200:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,200Yeah.102300:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,200Who would have thought?102400:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,200Weird, right?102500:38:57,200 --> 00:38:58,200What a thunk.102600:38:58,200 --> 00:39:05,360In fact, the sea of Okanagan people told settlers of a sacred water spirit protecting102700:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,360land.102800:39:06,360 --> 00:39:13,160They called it, and this is a crazy looking name, but it came with a pronunciation, which102900:39:13,160 --> 00:39:14,160is not too bad.103000:39:14,160 --> 00:39:15,360So, it's kind of fun.103100:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,360Okay.103200:39:16,360 --> 00:39:17,360Nahaha ikku.103300:39:17,360 --> 00:39:18,360Oh.103400:39:18,360 --> 00:39:27,760And it spelled like in apostrophe X with a little thingy AX ITK thingy Mavavers.103500:39:27,760 --> 00:39:28,760Yeah.103600:39:28,760 --> 00:39:29,760It's really cool looking.103700:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,560I like our languages.103800:39:31,560 --> 00:39:32,560Not as pretty.103900:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,680So, not as pretty as this.104000:39:34,680 --> 00:39:42,360But, that translates to the sacred spirit of the lake, which sounds nice.104100:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,360It does.104200:39:43,360 --> 00:39:47,200They describe it as having a horse head with deer antlers.104300:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,560So, I think it's like kind of the same swimming creature maybe, but maybe not.104400:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,520Maybe it's just like a walking, like a land spirit.104500:39:55,520 --> 00:39:56,520Yeah.104600:39:56,520 --> 00:39:57,520That sounds.104700:39:57,520 --> 00:39:58,520I don't know.104800:39:58,520 --> 00:39:59,520Yeah.104900:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,000That sounds potentially really, really different.105000:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,000Very different.105100:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,000Yeah.105200:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,280Big miscommunication.105300:40:05,280 --> 00:40:09,120Their offerings included tobacco, sage, and salmon.105400:40:09,120 --> 00:40:14,040So try explaining this to white people, and it turns into sacrificing live animals to105500:40:14,040 --> 00:40:15,520appease a demon.105600:40:15,520 --> 00:40:17,680I mean, and who we are.105700:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,440I mean, we are kind of the worst.105800:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,600The actual worst.105900:40:22,600 --> 00:40:29,600So, fast forward to the 20s, where we get the origin of the OgoPogov name from a very106000:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,120entertaining song.106100:40:32,120 --> 00:40:33,920I will include the link to the song.106200:40:33,920 --> 00:40:34,920It's really fun.106300:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,640I highly suggest listening to it.106400:40:37,640 --> 00:40:44,400But some of the lyrics are, I am looking for the OgoPogo, the funny little OgoPogo.106500:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,880His mother was a polywag.106600:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,400His father was a whale.106700:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,720I am going to put a little salt on his tail.106800:40:50,720 --> 00:40:51,720Roode.106900:40:51,720 --> 00:40:52,720I know.107000:40:52,720 --> 00:40:54,400So I figured he might be scared of salt.107100:40:54,400 --> 00:40:55,400Like a slug.107200:40:55,400 --> 00:40:56,400Yeah.107300:40:56,400 --> 00:40:57,400Right?107400:40:57,400 --> 00:40:58,400Yeah.107500:40:58,400 --> 00:40:59,400Eaky.107600:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,200You compare him to the Loch Ness Monster.107700:41:02,200 --> 00:41:08,080The locals have statues of him, and people even travel to visit the lake to try and get a glimpse.107800:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,800But I had never heard of him.107900:41:09,800 --> 00:41:14,600And obviously, he's not as famous as a Loch Ness Monster, because he doesn't have, you108000:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,440know, ladles of him.108100:41:16,440 --> 00:41:17,440Yeah.108200:41:17,440 --> 00:41:21,000You can, you know, use in your kitchen.108300:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,080Not by a long shot, which I want one really bad.108400:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,080I know.108500:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,880So I gather that he might be a little bit, have a little bit of a complex about that.108600:41:29,880 --> 00:41:30,880Yeah.108700:41:30,880 --> 00:41:38,900So I mean, listen, it's probably best that I didn't go this route because I myself have a108800:41:38,900 --> 00:41:42,920Loch Ness loose leaf tea diffuser.108900:41:42,920 --> 00:41:43,920Oh, yeah.109000:41:43,920 --> 00:41:44,920Cute.109100:41:44,920 --> 00:41:45,920See what I mean?109200:41:45,920 --> 00:41:46,920There's not an OgoPogo one.109300:41:46,920 --> 00:41:47,920That's right.109400:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,280I mean, man, that's rough.109500:41:51,280 --> 00:41:52,280Living in the shadow.109600:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,280Right.109700:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,280Yeah.109800:41:54,280 --> 00:42:00,920But one more little fun, funsy fact for you in the 80s, there was a $1 million reward for109900:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,880proof of the OgoPogo's existence.110000:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,880Oh, yeah.110100:42:06,880 --> 00:42:07,880One million dollars.110200:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,280One million dollars.110300:42:10,280 --> 00:42:15,760Wait, is the reward no longer?110400:42:15,760 --> 00:42:16,760I don't think so.110500:42:16,760 --> 00:42:18,360I think they probably canceled that.110600:42:18,360 --> 00:42:19,360Yeah.110700:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,240I mean, they've got their, their tourists now on their merch.110800:42:22,240 --> 00:42:23,560So they're good to go.110900:42:23,560 --> 00:42:24,560Okay.111000:42:24,560 --> 00:42:25,560That's fair.111100:42:25,560 --> 00:42:31,920Are you ready to do the terror reading to find out what Mr. Bat Squatch has in mind for111200:42:31,920 --> 00:42:32,920you?111300:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,920What his intentions are with you?111400:42:34,920 --> 00:42:41,440I, you know, it's probably best if I have all of the information, but I'm a little bit111500:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,440afraid.111600:42:42,440 --> 00:42:43,440That's all of the information.111700:42:43,440 --> 00:42:44,440Okay.111800:42:44,440 --> 00:42:45,840Half of all of the information.111900:42:45,840 --> 00:42:49,080Listen, I'm going to trust the terror.112000:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,240It's going to guide me correctly.112100:42:51,240 --> 00:42:52,480I think so too.112200:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,480It's going to know these cryptids.112300:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,480Okay.112400:42:55,480 --> 00:42:56,480Okay.112500:42:56,480 --> 00:42:57,480Ready?112600:42:57,480 --> 00:42:58,480Yeah.112700:42:58,480 --> 00:42:59,480Terror?112800:42:59,480 --> 00:43:00,480Terror?112900:43:00,480 --> 00:43:06,480As indie podcasters, we love to show our support of other awesome shows.113000:43:06,480 --> 00:43:10,360So stay tuned for the promo we've got to share with you this week.113100:43:10,360 --> 00:43:11,760Let's show them some love.113200:43:11,760 --> 00:43:15,480You can find their info in our show notes.113300:43:15,480 --> 00:43:20,680I can't possibly tell you all the crazy things that happen in the new True Crime podcast113400:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,680that in the water in 30 seconds.113500:43:22,680 --> 00:43:27,480But what I can tell you is that it's about a well to do Australian woman who met and fell113600:43:27,480 --> 00:43:32,400in love with a mysterious man who had a beautiful yacht and planned to marry him and spend113700:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,240the rest of their days sailing around the world together.113800:43:35,240 --> 00:43:40,280What actually happened was serial infidelity, loss of more than a million dollars, and attempted113900:43:40,280 --> 00:43:41,280murder.114000:43:41,280 --> 00:43:45,240The series is narrated by Tony Dalton of AMC's Better Call Saul.114100:43:45,240 --> 00:43:50,000You can find dead in the water by going to deadinthewaterpodcast.com or just search dead in the114200:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,600water from voyage media.114300:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,840Anyway, listen to podcasts.114400:43:55,840 --> 00:44:00,880If you're a frequent PNW Haunts and Homicides listener, you probably already know we're114500:44:00,880 --> 00:44:02,560birdie ambassadors.114600:44:02,560 --> 00:44:07,760We wanted to take a quick moment to tell you a little bit more about this awesome product.114700:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,760Birdie is the modern, personal safety alarm made for women by women.114800:44:11,760 --> 00:44:17,040In a situation where you feel threatened or unsafe, you can simply activate birdie's114900:44:17,040 --> 00:44:21,480loud siren and flashing light to create a diversion.115000:44:21,480 --> 00:44:26,800Birdie is perfect to carry any time because the device is lightweight and comes in a variety115100:44:26,800 --> 00:44:27,800of colors.115200:44:27,800 --> 00:44:29,280So important.115300:44:29,280 --> 00:44:36,120Use our Ambassador link and coupon code, PNWHAUNTSANDHOMICIDES, to receive 10% off your115400:44:36,120 --> 00:44:37,600purchase.115500:44:37,600 --> 00:44:42,440Like our social media handles, the coupon code is all spelled out no special characters.115600:44:42,440 --> 00:44:48,120You can find the link in promo code in our show notes or PNW Haunts and Homicides link tree.115700:44:48,120 --> 00:44:52,320Have a safe stay.115800:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,720You guys were back.115900:44:54,720 --> 00:44:57,280And don't worry, we did get more wine.116000:44:57,280 --> 00:45:02,400Well, of course.116100:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,040I'm excited for this tarot read.116200:45:04,040 --> 00:45:05,040I wasn't.116300:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,880We had a lot of technical difficulties.116400:45:06,880 --> 00:45:07,880Now fucking chill.116500:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,880I'm feeling it.116600:45:08,880 --> 00:45:09,880Yeah.116700:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,880We got it figured out.116800:45:11,880 --> 00:45:12,880Okay.116900:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,200We're probably being cursed and or haunted.117000:45:16,200 --> 00:45:17,480Yeah.117100:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,480So I regret my decisions.117200:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,800So like maybe Bat Squatch isn't the one for me.117300:45:23,800 --> 00:45:24,800He is.117400:45:24,800 --> 00:45:25,800Don't say that about him.117500:45:25,800 --> 00:45:36,040And when we have the other rogue beer, the gumberu, so rogue made the gumberu, the117600:45:36,040 --> 00:45:39,640Bat Squatch and colossal clod into beers.117700:45:39,640 --> 00:45:45,960And I did not know that before I picked them for this episode, I knew colossal clod did.117800:45:45,960 --> 00:45:46,960Yeah.117900:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,160That's the only one I knew about.118000:45:48,160 --> 00:45:52,560Even in like researching them, typing in their names into Google, I didn't either, it118100:45:52,560 --> 00:45:56,920didn't register that they had beers or it just didn't come up.118200:45:56,920 --> 00:45:57,920But yeah.118300:45:57,920 --> 00:46:02,120So it's pretty surprised and happy to find that out.118400:46:02,120 --> 00:46:06,880We don't have OgoPogo yet, but we will start a petition.118500:46:06,880 --> 00:46:07,880Absolutely.118600:46:07,880 --> 00:46:11,680Okay, Caitlin.118700:46:11,680 --> 00:46:12,680That's me.118800:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,680Pick your eligible.118900:46:14,680 --> 00:46:15,680What are you?119000:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,280Sassy, sexy, single.119100:46:17,280 --> 00:46:18,280Oh boy.119200:46:18,280 --> 00:46:19,280Okay.119300:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,280Yeah.119400:46:20,280 --> 00:46:21,280Okay.119500:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,520For Bat Squatch's intentions with you.119600:46:23,520 --> 00:46:24,520Okay.119700:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,760What did we get?119800:46:27,760 --> 00:46:28,760Shut up.119900:46:28,760 --> 00:46:29,760Did we get?120000:46:29,760 --> 00:46:30,760Shut up.120100:46:30,760 --> 00:46:31,760What did we get?120200:46:31,760 --> 00:46:32,760Oh, cool.120300:46:32,760 --> 00:46:36,600We got the fool.120400:46:36,600 --> 00:46:37,600That's my card.120500:46:37,600 --> 00:46:38,600Okay.120600:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,320It was really debating.120700:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,880I think the fool is kind of fitting for this one.120800:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,680He's some sort of otter, the river otter.120900:46:47,680 --> 00:46:48,680Just a sea otter.121000:46:48,680 --> 00:46:49,680Okay.121100:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,920Oh, this is this actually works, I think.121200:46:52,920 --> 00:46:53,920Okay.121300:46:53,920 --> 00:46:54,920So good.121400:46:54,920 --> 00:46:55,920Okay.121500:46:55,920 --> 00:47:04,720So our key words are innocence, beginnings, trust, hope, and opportunity.121600:47:04,720 --> 00:47:07,800It's the first card in the major arcana.121700:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,240The fool begins your journey toward wisdom.121800:47:11,240 --> 00:47:15,000The fool represents innocence and faith.121900:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,480The naive confidence of youth.122000:47:17,480 --> 00:47:24,000Shown as a young traveler, he embarks on an adventure without a care in the world.122100:47:24,000 --> 00:47:28,320He's concerned about the potential dangers that lurk ahead on the path.122200:47:28,320 --> 00:47:31,000I think you're the fool.122300:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,040That doesn't sound like me at all.122400:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,080You pick a cryptid to date, you fool.122500:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,080I know.122600:47:37,080 --> 00:47:40,160That's what he's trying to say.122700:47:40,160 --> 00:47:47,040In some decks, he appears as a happy, go-lucky young male standing at the edge of a cliff.122800:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,040Just about to step off into the great unknown.122900:47:50,040 --> 00:48:00,320Then he carries all his worldly possessions tied in a small bag on a stick over his shoulder.123000:48:00,320 --> 00:48:04,600Suggesting he doesn't have a lot of baggage yet and is open to life's experiences.123100:48:04,600 --> 00:48:09,720Oh, well, the bag's quite doesn't have like friends or family, so probably not a lot123200:48:09,720 --> 00:48:10,720of baggage.123300:48:10,720 --> 00:48:12,720Yeah, I would think.123400:48:12,720 --> 00:48:15,320Oh, my goodness.123500:48:15,320 --> 00:48:21,080The fool symbolizes the blind leap of faith we almost take upon entering the journey of123600:48:21,080 --> 00:48:23,920life.123700:48:23,920 --> 00:48:28,440A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.123800:48:28,440 --> 00:48:33,760Oh, when the fool appears in a reading, it usually means you're about to embark on a123900:48:33,760 --> 00:48:35,720new way of life.124000:48:35,720 --> 00:48:36,720You're open.124100:48:36,720 --> 00:48:37,720Oh, yeah.124200:48:37,720 --> 00:48:42,440Yeah, you are.124300:48:42,440 --> 00:48:48,160You're open to new experiences and to discovering what lies around the bend.124400:48:48,160 --> 00:48:53,080Even if you're not sure about the path you've chosen, you have faith that everything will124500:48:53,080 --> 00:48:54,600turn out well.124600:48:54,600 --> 00:48:59,000You probably feel out of sync with the rest of the world.124700:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,000But in a good way, are we so sure?124800:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,760Oh, listen, I'm wearing literal rose colored glasses.124900:49:05,760 --> 00:49:11,720I'm channeling Elton John here, but like, I ain't no fool.125000:49:11,720 --> 00:49:17,640You hear the beat of a different drummer and you're ready to march to it.125100:49:17,640 --> 00:49:20,560You hear the beat of leathery bat wings.125200:49:20,560 --> 00:49:22,240Oh, boy.125300:49:22,240 --> 00:49:25,440I'm skipping right to the love reading.125400:49:25,440 --> 00:49:26,440Perfect.125500:49:26,440 --> 00:49:32,800In a reading about love, this card often means beginning a romance or moving into a new125600:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,520stage in an existing relationship.125700:49:36,520 --> 00:49:42,400A new relationship may feel faded as if you've met your soulmate.125800:49:42,400 --> 00:49:46,880That's what you're soulmates.125900:49:46,880 --> 00:49:51,360Enjoy this period of joy, openness and excitement.126000:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,920Oh, there's another extra excerpt.126100:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,960The quest for meaning always takes us into the unknown.126200:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,680Oh, boy.126300:50:02,680 --> 00:50:04,680Okay.126400:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,000I can these bad boys off.126500:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,880I feel like they are blinding me.126600:50:07,880 --> 00:50:08,880I love that.126700:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,280That was the perfect reading.126800:50:10,280 --> 00:50:14,280It made up for all of our problems in the beginning, I think.126900:50:14,280 --> 00:50:16,040Oh, my goodness.127000:50:16,040 --> 00:50:17,040Yeah.127100:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,320We were having some real technical difficulties.127200:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,520Yeah, we were.127300:50:20,520 --> 00:50:29,720Do you like our explosion of Valentine's all over the bed and the altar and it's perfect.127400:50:29,720 --> 00:50:30,720It's beautiful.127500:50:30,720 --> 00:50:34,240I love your heart shaped little shelf here.127600:50:34,240 --> 00:50:37,840And you got is this love potion?127700:50:37,840 --> 00:50:38,920It's actually poison.127800:50:38,920 --> 00:50:44,840We're going to pretend it's love potion, which AKA poison.127900:50:44,840 --> 00:50:48,400Well, we hope you all have a swell V day.128000:50:48,400 --> 00:50:53,560No matter what you do, if you celebrate, if you don't, if you have a date, if you don't128100:50:53,560 --> 00:50:57,640do something for yourself, self love is important.128200:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,280Happy Valentine's Day for you people.128300:51:00,280 --> 00:51:01,280This is really fun episode.128400:51:01,280 --> 00:51:05,120I had a lot of fun being creative and making shit up.128500:51:05,120 --> 00:51:06,640That was a good time.128600:51:06,640 --> 00:51:10,160We're going to have to do this again for sure.128700:51:10,160 --> 00:51:16,840So write in with suggestions of credits because we're doing this again.128800:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,520If I have to write it myself, we're doing it again.128900:51:19,520 --> 00:51:20,520That was too much fun.129000:51:20,520 --> 00:51:21,520Yeah, sure turn.129100:51:21,520 --> 00:51:22,520I'm obsessed.129200:51:22,520 --> 00:51:23,520Oh, thanks.129300:51:23,520 --> 00:51:27,880Have a creepy ass Valentine's Day.129400:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,960See you next Tuesday.129500:51:30,960 --> 00:51:40,400I'm less, you're one of the three bachelor cryptids that Caitlyn didn't pick.129600:51:40,400 --> 00:51:41,400Lose my number.129700:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,160Yeah, I'm sure they're all very upset.129800:51:43,160 --> 00:51:47,400I'm going to have to call each one of them personally afterwards and tell them the bad news.129900:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,200So wish me luck every morning.130000:51:50,200 --> 00:51:55,040If I'm not here next week, you guys know why.130100:51:55,040 --> 00:51:58,280I might have been eaten by a cryptid because he was mad.130200:51:58,280 --> 00:51:59,280Okay.130300:51:59,280 --> 00:52:02,080Listen, we're going to have to have a chat with them.130400:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,080That's not how you solve problems.130500:52:04,080 --> 00:52:05,080Okay.130600:52:05,080 --> 00:52:06,080Bye.130700:52:06,080 --> 00:52:07,080Bye.130800:52:07,080 --> 00:52:08,080Bye.130900:52:08,080 --> 00:52:18,200Oh, that is not a birthday present for Kelce!131000:52:18,200 --> 00:52:22,440That is a bed save.131100:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,600Please read it.131200:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,120I cannot read it.131300:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,320You want me to read it?131400:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,320Oh, my God.131500:52:29,320 --> 00:52:34,320I mean, I would hardly call this a family show.131600:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,320No, we don't need to read it.131700:52:36,320 --> 00:52:37,320Oh, my God.131800:52:37,320 --> 00:52:38,320No, we have to read it.131900:52:38,320 --> 00:52:39,320Oh, you want to read it?132000:52:39,320 --> 00:52:40,320Oh, my God.132100:52:40,320 --> 00:52:50,320If there's any kids around sitting around with the room immediately, if that's sooner, why132200:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,320are you letting your kids listen to that?132300:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,320Don't let them listen to me.132400:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,320Yeah.132500:52:55,320 --> 00:52:56,320I'm naughty.132600:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,320Jesus.132700:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,320Okay.132800:53:01,320 --> 00:53:04,000The submarine.132900:53:04,000 --> 00:53:12,440Also known as a sexual act involving a man eating out a woman's vagina while masturbating.133000:53:12,440 --> 00:53:13,440Okay.133100:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,440Seems tame.133200:53:16,440 --> 00:53:25,400Just before he comes to completion, he looks up at her when she notices him looking at133300:53:25,400 --> 00:53:26,400her.133400:53:26,400 --> 00:53:36,000He says target locked, which is I can't know, never target locked.133500:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,400Target is officially out of the room.133600:53:39,400 --> 00:53:48,280While the girl is still in confusion, he says fire torpedo as he jumps up and comes to completion133700:53:48,280 --> 00:53:52,400on her face in her face on her face in her face.133800:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,080Oh, boy.133900:53:54,080 --> 00:53:58,080Then walks away saying target destroyed.134000:53:58,080 --> 00:54:05,080And I would literally end the life of this critter.134100:54:05,080 --> 00:54:10,520I mean, this is something you need to talk about with your partner beforehand and make sure134200:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,480everyone's okay with it.134300:54:12,480 --> 00:54:20,840Yeah, because listen, this definition comes with, can I hear it in a sentence?134400:54:20,840 --> 00:54:21,840And here we go.134500:54:21,840 --> 00:54:26,640Kelce was so surprised when I gave her that submarine for her birthday.134600:54:26,640 --> 00:54:27,640No.134700:54:27,640 --> 00:54:31,280Don't surprise the submarine on any of it.134800:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,840Never surprise anyone with anything ever.134900:54:33,840 --> 00:54:34,840No.135000:54:34,840 --> 00:54:35,840Never.135100:54:35,840 --> 00:54:36,840Consent is key.135200:54:36,840 --> 00:54:37,840Yeah.135300:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,720Also, that does not sound like a birthday present for Kelce.135400:54:40,720 --> 00:54:41,720Just FYI.135500:54:41,720 --> 00:54:42,720Kelce.135600:54:42,720 --> 00:54:43,720Are you okay?135700:54:43,720 --> 00:54:44,720Kelce is not okay.135800:54:44,720 --> 00:54:54,720pnwhauntsandhomicides.com